I was wondering if anyone else on this list has begun to pursue adoption and if so where you are at in the process. Have you found the waiting and anticipation to be the same or worse as infertility treatments or has it been easier for you?

We adopted #1 almost 2 years ago, and we are on a list to adopt #2. We won't be invited to do a home study for #2 until we are w/in 18 months of adopting a baby. That is fine w/me because I am in no rush. My toddler really keeps me hopping. I think a 3-4 year spread in age would be ideal for my family.

The wait for the adoption the second time around is so much easier. (I am too busy chasing my son around to think about the adoption wait.) The first time was very, very hard for me. I felt like I had run a long, hard marathon w/years of infertility behind me. The adoption process turned out to be another long marathon, and I was so incredibly drained after the infertility roller coaster and disappointment. I wasn't prepared for the month after month of disappointment in not being chosen by a birthmother.

Adoption was both easier and harder than infertility. It was easier because I KNEW there would be a baby after all was said and done. It was just a matter of how much time would pass. However, it was harder because there was nothing to do except wait . . . and wait . . . and wait. W/infertility, there was always an action that I had to be doing, so at least I felt like there was momentum. Once the home study was finished, it was just sitting around waiting for "the" phone call.

To survive the wait, I threw myself into helping other people. I became a mentor to several girls. I helped to start a children's program at my church. I participated in raising money for charities. These actions helped to take the focus off of my pain, at least temporarily. I now look back on all of the good things I did during that time, and it is nice to know that I brought something good into the world during my time of pain. I don't have the time to do charity work now that I am chasing a toddler around, so I am glad that I did the lion's share while I had the time.

All in all, the wait was worth it. All of those years of pain and tears led to being the mother of the best little boy in the world. And nothing can ever compare to the feelings that washed over me when I got "the" phone call and knew that I was finally going to be a mommy. Every single step brought me to being THIS little boy's mommy, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

Good luck w/your adoption!!

- Faith

Thank you Faith and what a great story. I feel very similar to you. During our run with IF I trough myself into many different community things, but emotionally IF wore me out and even a year later I am still trying to recover. I have really jumped into the adoption issues especially because we are pursuing special needs adoption vs. infant adoption. I can be very aggressive as far as searching and researching so I do spend a lot of time doing that, but the waiting, being part of final selections and then the let down of not being the chosen family can be tough too. Most of the time I don't feel it is as bad as dealing with IF, but I do have my days. I think it is important for people to realize that although adoption is an alternative, it is a tough process to go through too and to make sure they are up to it. I am glad you have your little boy. I have several nieces and nephews in that age range right now and they are alot of work, but it is all worth it. I wish you the best on you 2nd adoption too. Please keep us posted.