CONGRATS!!!
I am so happy for you.
I guess that means there is hope for all!!
Thanks for all the advice. Ill be around. It seems that I am hooked on this message board.
Jen

Hello,
I just wanted to let everyone know that I did call the SW.
She seems very nice (so Far) but very busy. She said that she did receive my appl and that she would let me know when classes begin later on this summer. SO here I wait......BUT I m still hopeful!!
Jen

Hello,
I just wanted to let everyone know that I did call the SW.
She seems very nice (so Far) but very busy. She said that she did receive my appl and that she would let me know when classes begin later on this summer. SO here I wait......BUT I m still hopeful!!
Jen

The process of healing after infertility is slow and goes in stages. There were many issues i came to terms with before adopting, there were many i came to terms with after adopting, there are a few that I still struggle with. Although I am a very proud mom of beautiful twin girls, I am still infertile. I still failed to give my husband and his family the bio grandchild that they dreamed of. I still stand on the sidelines as the "other moms" trade stories of birth and labor. Somehow my grueling journey halfway around the world and a 30 hour flight with vomiting babies doesn't fit in with their rush to the hospital stories. My babies were not newborns when they arrived in our family and so many people didn't know how to deal with that -- there was no baby shower. Although I was 38 and had years to observe other people parenting their children and make notes about what worked and what didn't, I was still a first time mom and my family treated me as if I were an idiot or not mature enough to be on my own with small children. Having been an infertility patient for several years, my self-esteem was at a low point to begin with. Being treated as if I were incompetent didn't help. There wasn't a lot of symapthy offered to me when I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted in the first few months of adjusting to motherhood and twins, because I had the choice of not being the mother of twins -- unlike a mother who gives birth to twins and has to accept her situation, I had the option of saying no i didn't want twins. The general opinion was that i guess i just didn't know what I was getting into.

What everyone who still treats me like an outcast doesn't understand is that everything had to be the way that it was for these children to be in my life and for all of that i am grateful. If I have to endure the stigma of forever being different for that privilge, then it's worth it and I gladly do so.

Robin

Try not to feel any less for your choices and situations. What I realized is that I was no less of a person, I was actually chosen. I was chosen to find my children in a different manner because I was able to handle it. Adoption is not for everyone. Many people do not understand it. I realized how much education I had to give people. Infertility strips us of our self esteem and really make us doubt ourselves and life, but what I realized was I was just meant to travel a different path and I was up for that challenge.

Hugs

Kim

My husband and I suffered through four years of trying to have a baby and 2 and 1/2 of those years were spent taking numerous large quantities of medication and IVF and IUI let downs. Not to mention loads of money that we really did not have. We could have continued to go the route of fertility treatment but instead opted for adoption. We just want a baby to complete our family. We just suffered a let down this past week. We were told on Tueday April 15th that we were chosen and before the baby was released to us from the hospital the birth parents changed their minds. It was heart wrenching. However, we will survive. Everything happens for a reason.

(((Ginam96)))

I am sorry to hear of this. Although we are doing state adoption a similar situation happened to us. We had been chosen for a 6 and 10 yr old sib group and at the very last minute the foster family decided to keep them. It was very hard on us as it the week before Christmas, but you do survive it and there are reasons. What I keep reminding myself is that if you stick with it, it does happen. You just haven't found your forever child yet, but you will. I wish you the best.

Hugs

Kim

Gina, I am soooo sorry. We've gone down a similar IF road, and what you experienced is my biggest fear. If you want to talk, please just PM me!

Ginam96,
Kim is so right. Everything does happen for a reason. It's hard to accept this during the times that things are happening that are painful and heartbreaking, and it seems as if the pain is never going to make any sense, but somehow it does seem to come together. We had 3 failed adoptions. The first domestic adoption we pursued was going along so well and felt like all of our prayers were being answered and our hurts were finally coming to an end, and then the baby died. How is that ever supposed to make any sense? we tried again and again and only came up empty each time -- 3 failed adoptions, 4 miscarriages, 4 failed IUI's. It's too easy to get overwhelmed and blinded by the pain and tears. Fortunately we pulled together all our courage and resources and put our hearts out there one last time. The end result has put everything into a perspective that gives meaning and purpose to all the unanswered questions.

Hi robin I read your post and it really touched my heart. I am soo happy for you that God in the end blessed you with double for your troubles, just as he did for his faithful servant Job in the bible. Praise God from whom all blessing s flow.

Robin,Gina,Kim.. I really have no experienced anything like what you ladies have indured....I admire your strength
WOW that really was a reality check for me. Hubby and I had some IF treatment but nothing like to $$$
We never had a loss or even got close to conceiving,ever. However I do feel that the inability to concieve a child has really effected me as a women. I had always dreamed of being a "mommy" since I was a little girl myself. We just figured that God had other plans for us. I am just glad my husband has been a great support system. Our family has like 13 grandchildren so we are the ONLY ones that dont have children.

So I feel ya Somebunniesmom.

Best Wishes to ALL
Jen