I just thought I would check to see if anyone has started the adoption process and if so where you are at in it? Has anyone on here adopted yet? Does anyone have any questions? How are you dealing with the grief of infertility, especially after the holidays? We struggled over the holidays after having our adoption fall through, but I am doing better now. We are searching again and have sent in our homestudy for several situations so hopefully something will come of it over the next month or so. Lets hear what is happening with all of you!

I am awaiting impatiently some word about something.


LOL

Angel

We adopted our son a couple of years ago, and we are in the process of adopting #2. We are #1 on the list to be invited to do the home study -- ETA next month. (Our agency only has ~ 10 adoptive couples approved and ready to adopt at a time.) Our agency tries to wait to do your home study until you are w/in 18 months of getting a placement. Otherwise, by law you have to update the home study.

I assumed that the pain of infertility would go away after we adopted, so I was surprised to have it crop up again once all of my friends started getting pregnant w/#2. Even though I love my son w/all of my heart and know that it was God's plan for us to raise him, I still sometimes grieve the fact that I will never know what it feels like to carry a baby inside of my body. To quote somebody else who posted on these boards, "adoption solves childlessness, not infertility."

The adoption process is a long, difficult, and sometimes painful road, but the end result is worth it. Good luck w/your adoption!!

- Faith

Faith

That is very true what you said about adoption not curing infertility. Although infertility and secondary infertility have their differences that is definitely one thing they share. Keep us posted on your progress.

Angel

I take it no word since the last time we spoke? Sometimes this system really drives me nuts. I wish I could quit my job and become a lobbyist on the hill. I would love to change some things.

Our son's now 27 mos has been home from Russia since Sept 2001 and doing wonderfully. He's now advanced in language and fine motor skills and on target for gross motor skills. he's still skinny but is closing in on 50% for height.

At a year he was 6 mos behind for size and 3 mos behind on skills. He's just a little wonder.

We had a bio daughter after adopting and she's doing great too.

this is a little off topic but I know it comes up. a lot of people (esp. men) wonder if they'd love an adopted child as much as a bio child. In our case, its an absolute YES!! And I speak for both DH and myself. Frankly, in many ways DS is easier, partly because he's older and there were months where we wondered if we'd ever LIKE our bio daughter as much as our son. Now that she's crawling and interactive we do like her as much. they are very different kids but I can't imagine loving one more than the other

They chose another family for the twins.

We go to committee on a little boy sometime this week.
Three more next week.

And I am not sure where the rest are lol.
At least two more committee meetings by the first week of February. All the meetings are starting to run together.


Angel

Hi everyone, we are just starting adoption number 3. We have a four year old and a 21 month old. We have been calling around to get someone to do our homestudy. I don't do well with the waiting so I am not looking forward to it. People kept telling me when we were waiting for our second that I would be busy with our first so the time would fly by, WRONG. Good luck to all of you!
Bailey

Scubbamom thank you for your thoughts. I am sure that will help those that have concerns about the bio vs adopted child issue.

Angel I know what you mean about meetings. I wish you the best.

Bailey I hate waiting too. I wish you the best and keep us posted.

Hi,
We've been waiting 6 months so far for a domestic adoption to come through. My sister has two children, both adopted -- 5 years and 7 weeks. The second one came without warning on Christmas Eve! That was pretty exciting! A little sad too. I have to admit I am a little jealous but I have faith in the process and fate will bring us the family we are supposed to have.

Just last week we made changes to our profile and are in the process of revising our BM letter. Hopefully, that will speeds things up a bit but we are not in a rush either since we are no longer trying to 'beat the clock' or expecting to get pregnant any time soon!

Hello all,
Hubby and I have justed started this long journey. We sent in our application about 3 weeks ago. After enduring 7 yrs of no birth control and endless test and procedures still to have nothing medically wrong with either of us. The first 4 yrs were very hard on us. We never played the blame game and we haven't really gotten past the "UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY" We just came to terms with the fact that God had other plans for us to have a family. So we have enjoyed our Marriage tremendouly thus far. We have gotten all the toys that people get ie; boat, motorcycle, nice house with 2 dogs and 2 cats in the country, however we are ready for the next stage of our life together to begin.

Call me crazy but I believe that unconsiously I am preventing pregnancy because I am scared to death to give birth. ( I don't like physical pain )

My sister-in-law has had no problem producing grand babies...So hubby and I feel like we were not involved in alot of the family stuff involving children ie; birthday parties and child related outings. I guess I can understand them not wanting to upset us but I am not sure that was the way to go.

For years I was NOT invited to baby showers because some knew it was hard on us. I would have rather gone than not have been invited.....

The whole family is informed of our decission of Domestic Adoption thru the county... Most are excited some are nervous for us.. Which I am too. The homestudy process scares the crap out of me...We dont have a checkered past and we are stable in our marriage. So I think I am getting worked up over nothing. The waiting and the fact that our future of our family is in the hands of the SW now.

SO I WAIT...

I wonder how long I have to wait before I can call to see if they even got our application. We have both of our bio's done and most of our letters for reference. The Librarian said that we have read ever book offered by the library. HEHEHE I guess I am getting carried away....

Thanks for letting me tell someone who has been going thru the same issues we are....Its hard to not get excited about this whole thing. The stories I have read on here have helped more than some of the books I have read...

THANK YOU
Jen

Sorry so Long

Jen

First off I wish you the very best. If you are doing State/County adoption you better realize you are going to have to be aggressive. I would kindly give them a call to see if they have gotten your app. Then when you send them something I would call in a few days to follow up. Even now I call at least once a week plus I email when need be. This is one of those the squeeky wheel needs to be greased issues. Otherwise you will sit and wait.

I will also add that I have learned more from online support groups than I ever did through books and even an actual support group. I am pursuing state adoption, but through another state because ours does not have much to offer. I have learned how to work with other states and what to watch for. Plus you hear both positive and negative issues and a much wider variety. Keep us posted.

Finally parents after seven years of infertility. We adopted our daughter on 3-9-03. She was 2 weeks old when we brought her home. We were pass the issues of fertility when we pursued adoption. We thank God for all the infertility and miscarriages we had to go through to be Kaitlyn's parents. We count it all joy in Jesus name.

Originally posted by ellia3
Finally parents after seven years of infertility. We adopted our daughter on 3-9-03. She was 2 weeks old when we brought her home. We were pass the issues of fertility when we pursued adoption. We thank God for all the infertility and miscarriages we had to go through to be Kaitlyn's parents. We count it all joy in Jesus name.

Congratulations!

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!! Adoption truly is a blessing