[dec30]

I new here, and just need someone to talk to. My right ovary and tube were removed when I was 20, and Wednesday, my left tube will be coming out too. My husband and I will have to do IVF if we want to have children. I don't know how I feel about this yet. I'm back and fourth in mine mind about if I was meant to have children this wouldn't be happening, but then again isn't IVF here for a reason too? Why me? My best friend had her children removed from her custody because she wasn't a good mother, and yet she can good out tomorrow and get knocked up again. I'm so confused, sad, I start stupid fights with my husband for no reason, I'm afraid he's going to leave me because I can't have kids or because this making me crazy. I really want to have my own kids, but what if IVF does't work? That's money gone that could have gone to adoption. What if we don't qualify to adopt? Please, if there is ANY one who has gone through anything similar, PLEASE help me. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[lovingwife]

Hello and welcome to the forum. You will find lots of wonderful ladies here who are in similiar situations. I haven't had my tubes removed, but I am having trouble getting pregnant and completely understand how frustrating and stressful it can be. You may want to considering counseling either by yourself or couples if you feel this is taking a toll on your marriage. As for IVF vs. adoption. This is a personal choice. Are you thinking about starting a family soon? It sounds like you need a little time to let the news sink in and think about what will be the best solution for you and DH. I would suggest making an appt with a RE(reproductive endocrinologist) when you're ready to discuss IVF and also start researching adoption possibilities. Check out the IVF and adoption threads in this forum. You will find lots of great info about both options. Best of luck to you and DH.

[Shasta18]

Originally Posted by dec30

I new here, and just need someone to talk to. My right ovary and tube were removed when I was 20, and Wednesday, my left tube will be coming out too. My husband and I will have to do IVF if we want to have children. I don't know how I feel about this yet. I'm back and fourth in mine mind about if I was meant to have children this wouldn't be happening, but then again isn't IVF here for a reason too? Why me? My best friend had her children removed from her custody because she wasn't a good mother, and yet she can good out tomorrow and get knocked up again. I'm so confused, sad, I start stupid fights with my husband for no reason, I'm afraid he's going to leave me because I can't have kids or because this making me crazy. I really want to have my own kids, but what if IVF does't work? That's money gone that could have gone to adoption. What if we don't qualify to adopt? Please, if there is ANY one who has gone through anything similar, PLEASE help me. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Infertility is so hard and you've come to a great place for getting support. There are so many decisions to be made, whether to do treatments and if so, how many, etc. One of my good friends decided that she didn't want to do any treatments (she would've been an excellant IVF candidate) and went straight to adoption. It is something you and your husband have to sit down and talk about. Only you two can come up with the right solution for you. Good luck with this and keep us posted!

[dec30]

I appreciate your support and input. I starting going to cancling with a chaplin next week, after I talk to him alone a few times I'm going to start bringing my husband. I did have my surgery today. They couldn't take out my tube, it's to close to my intestins. But my left ovary is still in good shape . My husband stays so very postive for my about every thing.

[Shasta18]

It sounds like you're doing the right thing by seeing someone and if DH comes along...even better! Hopefully your healing from the surgery won't take long and you can start working on your future plans. Good luck!

[kinz]

I know getting your tube removed completely sucks! I know...been there a couple of months ago. My doctor also said IVF was the only way to go if I wanted to have biological children. My DH and I started the adoption process some time ago and that isn't easy either...a lot of paperwork and working with case managers that have no idea what you are going through. We are started IVF next month and it also took us a long time to come to the decision to go through with it. You will get through all this...it justs takes time and a lot of tears. I wish you all the best!

[Tcdelcastillo3]

I know how you feel. When doctor told me tubes were blocked it was devastating. I thought that was it. But reading everyone stories and hopes. Really helps! I wish you all the baby dust possible. I will be having a Lap soon. Hopefully everything will work out. Also with you. take care!