[Mrs.Ocean]

I am Catholic and I do not agree with the church's teaching on infertility treatment. I feel that medicine is a GIFT from God, not a hinderance to God's wishes. If God truly does not wish for us to be parents, then nothing we try will be succesful. Until then, I choose to believe that he loves us and is with us on our journey - the rest is just the teachings of men who don't understand.

[ErinC74]

This is something I've always wondered about. I'm glad I came across this post. I am a Catholic school teacher and I worry that if anyone from work found out that I am pursuing infertility treatments that I could get fired or something. I plan on keeping quiet about it. This is between me and God!

[GracieB]

Just wanted to share that I am Catholic too. And in the super Catholic conservative state of Louisiana where embryos have their own rights...etc.

But Catholism varies from parish to parish so I do not take the Catholic church's stance on IVF at all and I don't take all they say about anything because of there huge variances from region to region. Heck I have not even looked into what they think about IVF. I am Catholic but more importantly I am daughter of God and my parents and I want to mother too. I can't find anything wrong with that. And not to be too harsh... but what religion is as gung-ho about procreation as the Catholics? I am certain they would be okay with IVF when it is so excact that no embryos are arrested and fail... but heck old fashioned babydance leads to miscarriages, etc. So when it can work out ... it will and when it can't on its own we just need to help it out.

Don't let it get to you. God made you and he made the people that created IVF so I figure he wanted them to discover a way to help us and now it your choice to decide what is right for you. There is no wrong or right choice ... just what suits you. And I wouldn't tell people you work with, etc as I recognize that all it takes is one crazy righteous person to end your career, etc. If you need days off, etc.. just have your ER or OB write a letter to your PCP and ask the PCP to give you medical excuses noting days for appointments etc but not saying diagnosis or treatment. Thanks to HIPAA and continuity of care you can have confidential medical treatment. I did that when i had a D&C therefor more than the standard # of 3 days from work as i was out for a week and the place i worked was just full of nosy people and lax confidentiality on personell records. So i gave a generic excuse saying i had been under the pcp's care... it could have been for anything... no one needs to know your business. And remember it is not a secret if you tell anyone and that only medical personell and human resources are held to HIPAA. So if you need support i have found this group fertility sisters to be the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you on your quest to mommyhood. And God Bless you.
PS God is not Catholic he is just a wonderful, loving & forgiving father.

[Jenny3343]

I also have read much of Dr Dobson's books and theories of parenting. I agree with most of his ideas, however, I also believe that God gave us brains with the capacity to create things in scinece, including babies. I have not personally gone through IVF so I cannot give my opinion, but my sister and BFF have a struggled with what to do with the frozen fertilised embryos. I think they are keeping them frozen while they decide!

[AngieD]

I'm not Catholic, but I had found this in my readings, and thought it was very interesting. There IS a Catholic-approved alternative (albeit with a slightly lower rate of success):

Tubal Ovum Transfer - TOT

Tubal ovum transfer attempts to mimic and allow for certain natural conditions. Might be a happy medium for the devout.

[bq122]

Karen - Absolutely.

I am catholic and believe in my faith 99% of the time. Since my son has passed on, I have to trust my judgment because one day I would like to see him again. God willing. I did speak to two priests about this IUI/IVF and both of them of course said it is against our religion. But I asked them will this stop me from getting to heaven - NO.....
I prayed my heart out everyday several times a day to get pregnant and I kept saying to God it is your will.
And I am pregnant now with twins. I have on many, many occasions especially in church on Sunday asked God if I have offended him please forgive me.
But the love me and my dh along with my family have for these two babies can not be wrong. We are creating a baby to love and raise as good catholics how can that be wrong.

[ballerinagirl]

My husband and I are Catholic and we suffered through 3 years of the infertility rollercoaster. We have two biological children w/o treatment. We just simply waited too long to try for more. He was serving time in the military and going to school. We had three miscarriages and my husband also had a hernia repair which killed his sperm count. Also done in the military. I'm not justifying what we did to have another child but....The heart wants what the heart wants creating life is supporting what is in the bible. These priests will never marry or have children why should they interpret what they think the bible says. There is nothing in the bible about creating a family in alternate ways. Wanting a child to love and nuture is what life is all about. We did donor egg to conceive our twins I consider it an early adoption and will cherish and love these babies afterall I am giving them life. God gave these doctors the knowledge to do what they do but no one can control implantation. That is the big mystery this is where God plays a role and blesses a couple with a child. I think whatever child you have is the one God meant you to have. They will be much loved in our family. As far as sharing this with strangers, family and friends that is an individual choice we chose to keep it between husband and wife. I look forward to seeing my babies in heaven that we lost. I should have 9 children and will have 4 here on earth. We go to church and pray as a family I thank God and Jesus all the time for the gifts he has given us.

[xpinkpink]

Originally Posted by einstein

... do you follow what the church says and don't do IVF or infertility treatments? Do you go ahead with your plans to treat the infertility regardless of what your faith teaches? Do you feel guilty because of it? Do you tell other people of your faith if you are doing infertility?

I'm a brand new RCIA Catholic and my husband is a craddle Catholic. We were unaware of the Church's stance on infertility until I read a press release from Rome a few weeks ago. I was shocked. I brought this to my Church leaders and they're response was that it takes away from God Creating life in the womb and makes sex recreational.

Since I am a "Convention Catholic" (a term my DH created to discribe people who just come away from a Motivation Convention- I'm super excited about the Church) I am really REALLY disturbed by this. I don't know if we will do IVF. I think I just might continue with IUIs until I burst. My husband doesn't care. He is not as strict as I am and is all for BCP and Condoms, etc...

I have not told anyone in the church that we are doing ART, just that we are trying to concieve. The Church has brought me so much comfort and peace during all these procedures though. My husband says I'm a different person now. I want to stay this way

[fossie]

My dh is Catholic and I work for a Catholic organization and I too have visited this subject many times throughout and especially now that my children are here and I am constantly asked "are they natural twins," "do twins run in your family," etc. Most everyone knows that we tried for a long time and if they don't know for certain that we used reproductive technology they at least have to assume it since nothing happened on our own for 7 years. From what I understand the main issues are what to do with frozen embryos, if any and the fact that the man, in particular, is not with a woman when he makes his contribution, so to speak (although don't even try to tell me that all Catholic men refrain from self pleasuring!!!). We have not discarded our frozen embryos, even though we will not go through fertility treatments again, because of Catholic doctrine but we did use traditional IVF methods for the egg fertilization. The way I look at it is that we have many, many friends who have done IVF unsuccessfully and some who have had succeses and for all of them there is no real explanation for why it has or has not worked - I think that is an example that reproductive doctors cannot play God, as much as they may want to think they can, and that God does ultimately have a hand in it. When I am really struggling with the ethics and religious implications of it all I tell myself what I truly believe, that God showed us this path because he wanted us to have Katie and Tyler (my twins) in our lives and this is the way that he sought for it to happen - it brought my dh and I closer together, made us twin parents when that probably wasn't in our cards without fertility treatment, and made us really appreciate every moment with our precious babies and I truly think that was his plan for us and that is why he led us to utilize fertility treatments - just my opinion!

[anilorak13ska]

Cradle Catholic here. I've actually used the phrase "not wanting to play God", to which my mom (also cradle Catholic) rolled her eyes! lol

When we got OA dx, we moved on to adoption, which we have been pursuing for over a year now, with two failed matches. We were just licensed as foster parents and are hoping for our first placement soon.

Silmultaneously, something strange has happened. Last week I started experiencing mid-cycle spotting, and I remembered reading about implantation bleeding, and now, all bets are off! lol

DH has a follow up apt with UR in 2 weeks (over a year overdue!) to find out the next step.

I didn't (even still don't) want to do IVF mainly for the invasive nature of the whole thing, but also bc I believe that if we are faced with infertility, it is God's way of telling us that we are called to adopt.

But I now see that when all was said and done, the type of adoption we chose to pursue was not to help an orphan in need, but to compete with countless other hopeful adoptive parents for a healthy newborn! That's not any better than IFT.

Now we're pursuing foster care to adopt and we'll soon find out where we stand on the whole IF treatment. We're still advertising for our independent adoption pursuit, but as soon as we find out if/that dh's swimmers have been hiding but are there (LOL), we'll pull our advertising and stick with foster care and FT.

So, where do I stand on the whole IVF and Catholic issue? I believe life begins at conception, so I oppose anything that stands in the way of a conceived soul from being allowed to fulfill his/her human potential.

Embryo adoption is an option, but not as popular as would be hoped, and certainly provides no guarantee as to each and every one of them being given a chance at a full life. (We actually looked into it as an option for us, but the cost was similar if not more than standard adoption, and the invasiveness of the transfer procedure was what turned me off from IVF to begin with.)

Right now, I think I am finally truly open to God's will: either through IFT, private adoption, foster care, or any combination of these. I don't care if my children are genetically linked to us - they will have a spiritual bond with us that is much, much stronger. But I do want to be a mother already! One way or another.