[kblythe]

What lovely, heartfelt, and reassuring posts. I think we all have wondered, at some point, that maybe it is God's will that we not get pregnant. I, too, felt that. But it didn't stop me from pursuing all medical avenues. If it was truly God's will that I never carry a child, I knew I never would.

But now I have my child. And I feel so incredibly blessed that words fail me. Now I wonder if I would have had the same level of gratitude if I had gotten pregnant easily. The truth of the matter is that I would not. So although I would not wish IF on anyone, I also know that on some level, having gone through the struggle to become pregnant, I am a better mother now. I am more grateful, more patient (which was never my strong suit), and more joyous. And I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that my baby is a gift from God.

Kathryn

[BabySteps]

Kathryn, I could not have said it better myself. I feel the same way. I worried that maybe we were pushing our luck with God and nature by going through such fertility treatments. It all worked out good and I feel I am a better person and Mother because of it. I am a SAHM and soak in the joy they bring me each day. I studied and worked on a career for years but this is the best job I ever had and the one I was intended for ~ no doubt

[anne1140]

I am a pastor's wife and we are struggling with infertility. This is how we see it:

I don't really think that fertility/infertility has anything to do with God. I don't think He does it to us to teach us a lesson, nor do I believe that he specifically gives us children. This would be like saying that God does bad things. No, bad things happen because of the fall. We live in a fallen world, and we are sinful people. Therefore, bad things just happen.

If God did give people infertility and bless people with children, that means that abusive and neglectful parents would be "blessed" with children by God, which doesn't make any sense.

I believe I have every right to pursue infertility treatments, just like I would if something else were "broken", and I don't believe that our infertility means that God is telling us not to be parents. As long as whatever we're pursing is in-line with our beliefs. (DH and I have already decided not to pursue IVF because of the potential wasting of embryos issue. But that's just us. Obviously, others have to decide for themselves.)

[anilorak13ska]

I hope to see more folks in this neck of the woods again. It's been 5 months since the last post here. But nonetheless I'm glad I found it. Your comments have touched my heart.

Before we got our dx, I was quite judgmental of folks pursuing infert trmt, esp repeat ivf. I was partial to adoption, and couldn't understand why people didn't just see that an infert dx is a call from God to adopt.

Well, when we got our dx Jan of 08, I cried, and then went straight into adoption. We have been pursuing independent domestic adoption for a year and a half. We've agonized over broadening our criteria, opening our hearts to as many special needs/criteria as we thought we could handle or be good parents for. We became licensed foster parents and this summer thought we decided that perhaps the Lord wanted us to adopt an older child. We haven't had any foster placements, none of the kids on photolistings were matched with us, and we've had two failed private adoption situations.

Two months ago, I was at a loss as to what else we could do to show God that we truly are prepared to be parents.

And out of nowhere, this overwhelming desire - nay, need to revisit our infertility surfaced. We've now met with a UR and RE, one less than helpful, the other ugh. As I read through the threads here, I still started out with this "no IVF" stance, thinking "maybe we just need a surgery or some drugs, and everything will be honky dory".

When I really read through dh's medical records, I realized this was not an option after all. The first RE we met with confirmed this. But I agonized over IVF and dreamt about it. I couldn't make my peace with various aspects (financial, physically invasive), most especially the idea of creating "excess" embryos and freezing them, thereby all but guaranteeing that some of them would not survive a subsequent thaw.

And then someone on here suggested natural cycle IVF. I had a hard time finding info, bc apparently only two clinics in the US specialize in it (I could be wrong and hope I am, but that's all I've been able to find). But then I found a clinic, one I've heard of before, a reputable clinic, and in my own state! And then turns out the one person on here who had experience with nc-ivf actually got on her second nc-ivf at the very same clinic I found!

Long story short, ever since I compared the two approaches to ivf, I'm sold on nc-ivf, and hopeful that our next step does show this to be an option for us. (We need a testicular biopsy to find/retrieve sperm.)

I have had no more qualms about ivf since making this decision, and I'm anxiously awaiting what unfolds. We've put our adoption pursuits on hold, though our home is still open to foster placements, if they ever come. (We recently asked to switch to a nearby county that may have a greater need for us.)

But without a doubt, this entire journey has led me closer to God. So perhaps infert isn't from God for everyone, but it is for me. I am a cradle Catholic, but at midnight on August 17th, I recommited my life to Christ, and I finally feel FREE - free to follow Jesus, seek HIS will, and not to obey human-made church laws which often times make me cringe.

And that's what I'm so hoping to find here - fellow followers of Christ facing the same struggles and decisions that I am facing. I've never doubted that I would be a mother, but I have yet to be certain of HOW God intends for that to happen.

I've heard of this wonderful approach to making peace with our desires when they don't seem to be in line with God's will:

"Lord, you know the desire of my heart. If it be Thy will, I ask that you make this happen for me, but for Thy glory, not mine. And if it is not Thy will for this to be fulfilled, then I ask that You take this desire off my heart, so that I can focus my attention of fulfilling your holy will. Amen."

[anilorak13ska]

[Hopeful12]

This is a great thread. When we started our IVF journey I was not yet saved. Hubby was and has been a Christian for many years. As we got closer the start of our journey we discussed many many times if what we were doing God would approve of. We, in general, put a lot of trust and faith in the doctors. As others have said, if God did not want this it would not be successful. We've have found that this IVF journey has brought us closer to God and to each other. We have learned that all things are possible with God. In Matthew Jesus said what you ask for in prayer if you believe you will receive.