[SouthernYankee]

Friend of mine thinks she's pregnant again. Her son just turned 1. Seems like everyone around me is having one baby after the other. Our neighboor had another in December and her son just turned 2. I should be happy for my friend I know but as one month passes after another it gets harder hearing all these people saying "Guess what..."

[bistro]

I agree that it totally sucks and if you don't want to be happy for them, you don't have to be!!! I just try to fake it really well . . . it's more of a pride thing because I don't want ANYONE (especially anyone who is ) feeling bad for me.

Hang in there!!!!!

[AnnRN]

I know how hard that is. We have been trying for over four years and have been together for 11. It seems like, in that time frame, everyone around me has gotten pregnant. My brother recently got married. He met his wife at the end of May and she was pregnant by February. They needed no fertility help & she was 39, almost 40, at the time!!!! A girl at my work also got pregnant recently. She was 20 at the time and "afraid to tell her parents". She also treated her entire pregnancy like an illness. Very annoying.

This whole process turned me into someone I never wanted to be. I was always upset anytime someone announced a pregnancy. It sucks!!! But, like the previous poster said, you can't really help how you feel, but you can control your public reaction to it... maybe!

[dez81379]

Yeah It does really suck and it is super hard to be happy for them. My BABY sister is pregnant now just found out and I should be happy im gonna be a aunt but, alls i can thin of when she is talking to me is that im not going to be a mommy.

[harpjs]

I totally know how you feel. My sister told me in September that she was pg and that was after I had given her a years worth of bcp that I had gotten from my mil for free. My dh and I had been trying a few months then and now it is 6 months later and her baby shower is tomorrow. Plus, since then I have found out that about 20 people I know are pg or have had babies, inlcuding a co-worker (team teacher) that I see pretty much all day everyday. Sometimes the hardest part isn't even dealing with the person that is pg. I find it hard to talk to the rest of my family because they are so excited to have a baby in the family and they want to be supportive of my sister because she isn't in the best situation with her bf and everything. It really makes me sad when I think about her baby and how it is going to grow up especially if the baby's daddy doesn't stick around. Anyway, wish me luck at the baby shower! It is going to be one of the toughest days that I have had in a while!

[Mel78]

I too am sooooo upset. My three closest friends are ALL pregnant, my sister in law just had baby number 2 and I am feeling very sorry for myself. My husband says I should be happy for them (which I am) but I can not help getting depressed by their joyful news. We are currently taking a break from IVF and I am feeling very resentful. I know this is normal, but how I am suppose to take a break and not think about getting pregnant when their are babies and/or pregnant woman all around me.

[LauriePK]

I'm sorry for you, and I know exactly how it feels! One of my friends now has 2 kids, and I remember when we were trying to get pregnant at the same time! It was hard be with her, especially the second time.

Feeling depressed about my pregnant friends spurred me to write an article called "Tips for Not Resenting Your Pregnant Friends." It's hard not to dwell in the unfairness of it all.....but it does help to focus on the good parts of your life. And, I like to hang with friends who don't have kids -- two of my friends don't even want kids, which makes me feel good!

[redoak]

We just found out 2 days ago that our IVF cycle didn't work out. This was our 3rd and last cycle and I have similar feelings as the other posters. I keep watching everyone else getting pregnant with the blink of the eye and wonder why this is happening to me.

Logically, I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but I'm struggling with the bitterness and anger. We've spent shocking amounts of money and time on this process. We've too emotionally and financially spent to try again.

My coworker in the cube next to me is pregnant and I'm struggling to deal with it. Honestly, I just want to avoid her, but that's not an option.

Sorry to vent! I'm searching for ways to deal with this and get past it, but I guess it just takes time.

[kepola]

Funny how we all understand 100% where you are coming from. No one understands how we feel except for us in this forum.
There are people are my work too that are pregnant. It is annoying, frustrating. This story will make you shake your head. I was watching that show 17 kids and counting the other day. That lady that has all those kids, well her oldest son got married and they are now excpecting. His wife was on and she said this 'oh we were trying for so long......4 months and i was so tired of the disappointment and the negative tests"........geez......4 months is nothing.....most of us here have been trying for years and no success......that made me ill listening to her talk.......anyhow, just wanted to vent.!!

[redoak]

THANK YOU! Sometimes all I want is for someone to understand and say "I'm sorry." One of the worst things of this is that no one talks about. It's a bit of a stigma. I suspect most people are just glad it's our problem and not theirs:-)

I get blank looks and strange comments when I tell people about it, so we've stopped discussing it with our friends mostly.

When I got the bad news, I walked out of the office crying...just trying to make it home. Right now, all I want to do is to avoid social situations at work and in my personal life. Hopefully, that will change.

I know what you mean about that show. I keep hearing my neighbors talking about being conflicted about trying to decide if they want another child. What a nice problem to have!

Thanks for letting me vent. It helps a lot!

[kepola]

I know exactly how you feel redoak. It is so frustrating and annoying. At least from this forum we are not the only ones who feel this way.

[Airman'sBaby]

FINALLY! A place where there are people who understand what I'm going through! All I want in life is to be a mother. I don't care about having a ton of money, or a Mercedes, or a huge house, and sometimes I feel like something that comes so easily to (seemingly) everyone else is too much for me to ask for.

The first really bad incident I had was when my 19-year-old cousin told me that his (just turned) 16-year-old girlfriend (they hadn't even been dating for a year) was pregnant. I was furious. He had a crappy, minimum-wage job, and she was a sophmore in high school. I was extremely resentful. Here I am, busting my a$$, with a good paying job, great benefits, stable relationship, and all the other resources necessary to raise and care for a child. I can't get pregnant to save my life, and these kids are getting knocked up by accident. I honestly didn't speak to them for the whole pregnancy. Every time I looked at her, I cried. I felt like I just wanted to curl up in a corner and die. And of course, I had no one to share these feelings with. I told DH about them, but men only have the ability to understand these emotions to a certain extent.

Recently, my best friend (who has a 12 y/o and and 8 y/o, and who terminated her first pregnancy when she was like 17) decided she was going to leave her boyfriend of 6 years. I supported her, because her happiness was important to me. Well, come to find out (the part she conveniently left out), she had been talking to this guy online (he was in FL, she was in NY) for about 5 months. Never met him. All of a sudden he's just going to leave his wife in FL and move up here with her. Without ever meeting first! So she leaves the man that she's been with for the better part of a decade, finds an apartment in a day and a half, and two days later, her internet boyfriend is at her doorstep. 3 weeks later, she's pregnant with his child. When she told me, I was FLOORED. 3 weeks! She's known the guy for 3 freakin' weeks!

It made me think, and this may be wrong, I don't know, but it's how I feel: All of us here have been trying SO hard, have gone thru so much pain and heartbreak. We would do ANYTHING to be able to conceive and carry a baby to term. Why is it that all these people who have terminated unwanted pregnancies, or who don't/can't take care of their children, etc. are so fertile? It blows my mind.

[kepola]

I know exactly how you feel.
I don't know why things happen in the world the way they do.

[Sly]

I know, it isn't fair that so many people get accidentally pregnant and those of us who really, really want kids are having such a hard time.

I did infertility for 2 years, and now adoption for 4 with no success. I am tired of this journey. I want it to be overwith. We are now in our upper 30's and I either want children with in a year or stop trying to adopt. I'm sick of this. My husband though doesn't want to stop the process just cause it's taking a while. I don't like this waiting thing though.

[redoak]

I don't get it either. I'm just trying to get through the next couple of weeks and months.

One of the things that's keeping me going is the hope that one day we'll look back and this will make some sense. I know I've been through other difficult things in life and they make sense now looking back. Hopefully this will be the same.

My faith has really been shaken the last week. It feels God has forgotten about us. I like attending church services and listening to the praise music, but my heart isn't in it now.

My heart just aches.