[ruginstaller]

I'm a man who has struggled with fertility issues with his wife. I have ready many of your stories and they sound exactly like what my wife and I are going through.

It seems everyone is getting pregnant except us. We recently expanded our small group of friends and became close with a new couple. I was relieved when my wife said that her new friend was talking about being on birth control.

Last week, I found out that our new friend is pregnant.

They do not know that we have been having issues getting pregnant. Now, my wife wants to stop seeing them. She says it is too painful to watch somebody else go through a pregnancy when that is all that she wants.

I understand what she is thinking, but at the same time, without explaining the situation to our friends, they will just think that we are horrible people who ditched them during what should be, the happiest time of their life.

What is the general feeling when it comes to telling people about your infertility issues? My guess is that if it is recommended to keep that info to yourself, it is because when others know, they will add to the pressure of getting pregnant with questions and constant advice.

The stories here are amazingly similar to ours. Co-workers are getting pregnant , friends are getting pregnant, we're not getting pregnant.

Do we slam the door on the pregnant people in and around our life or what?

Please help. I am just trying to be the best husband that I can possibly be.

[sweetie1680]

I understand where your wife is coming from. My husband and I have been trying and trying and finally are doing IVF for the 1st time. I didn't want to let anyone in on that part of my life because it is highly personal and highly emotional. I did give wind up giving in and telling a friend or two and now my Mother knows but that is it. Since I told them both of those friends have told me that they are pregnant and that they did not even really have to try. My one girlfriend is a nurse and knew all about what we are going through. I haven't heard from her for a number of weeks and suddenly I got an email from her saying she has been really sick with morning sickness and is now 11 weeks pregnant! I felt like she had actually thrown it in my face especially since she knew our situation. I did not email her back and do not plan to speak to her. We have been really close for a long time (at least 10-12 years) and I am walking away. Sometimes it is all about self preservation! I wouldn't push your wife on this issue but ask her if it is okay to explain to them why you are distancing yourselves for now and maybe it will salvage the friendship. Good Luck.