[anirtak]

Ok...tell me how you would feel....My sister who is 19 weeks pregnant has been showing almost right away after learning that she was pregnant. She had a sonogram early on where they saw one healthy fetus. Since then she has asked her OB if she could possibly being having twins since she is so large...to put it her words she said, "please tell me that I am so large due to this being my third child and not because I may be having twins." The doctor said "I can't promise you anything, the first sonogram was done so early that anything is possible." So in her conversation tonight she tells me all of this plus tells me that she is praying that it is only one. And here I am willing to do anything for a baby and here she is praying that she isn't having more than one. How can it be that the people closes to you can hurt you the most with their insensitive comments?????????? I can't stop crying about this.

[jenedens6102]

Oh Katrina! That is a bad thing or way for your sister to talk to you about the situation. Yes, it can be true that subsequent pregnancies can cause women to start showing sooner as well as feeling things sooner. But that doesn't mean she should be wishing for just one versus happy with what she's been blessed with. Sounds pretty selfish to me.

[Jacklyn]

Hi Katrina
I haven't been on this forum for a long time. However, I just had a conversation with my mom and her aunt (2 separate conversations) this evening. I am close to both of them and they both said something that I found insensitive. Yes, I guess the people who are closest to us sometimes hurt us the most. May be its our expectation of them - we expect too much coz we are close to them.
Hang in there. Try to let it go. I agree it is insensitive of her to say that especially if she knows what you are going through.
Take care. Hugs to you

[marilynn]

Katrina,
I have no idea how someone could be so insensitive. I have a relative who has told me several times that she thinks she is pregnant and is upset about it. She usually goes on for awhile about how they were not even trying and laments the fact that it is so easy for her to get pregnant. My DH told me that I should tell her not to talk about this "problem" with me anymore. I don't know if that would work with your sister. It's hard.

[foxxy]

That's what family is for right! HA. Yes, they can be very insensitive at times, but we have to remember that they don't understand IF and what it is does to us emotionally and never will.
My sister complains about her kids, which I think the world of, and when she is done complaining, she always throws in "so do you really want kids?". The first time, I didn't think anything of it and just figured she was having a moment herself. After the 3rd time, I said, "I hope so, I've just spent my life savings trying to get preg. with another man's (donor sperm) sperm, so I hope I want children"! She apologized and hasn't said anything since. So, family just as friends sometimes have a memory lapse, so don't write your sister off yet. Maybe just tell her how you feel.....hey, if you can't be honest with your family, then who can you be honest with!?

[CryingInside]

My sister says very insensitive things all the time...but she's the type that has always done that, not just with the IF stuff. I have learned to ignore her because I have told her several times that she hurts me, but I think she really just doesn't get it...I don't think she means to hurt me, that's just how she is. I hope your sister didn't mean to hurt you. I would imagine that with two other children already, twins would probably put a large strain on her and your BIL financially and emotionally. She was probably just venting, but you should tell her that venting about those things to you is not fair!

[wannabigbabybelly]

I think sometimes we are extra sensitive about things...because we want a baby so badly.

I keep having to remind myself that we all have our challenges in life. Your sister may get pregnant easy....but she may find parenting to be very difficult and the thought of being a mom of 4 may seem overwhelming when she is just trying to get used to the idea of adding even one more...the thought of two more(at the same time) may not seem desireable for her.

I've kinda learned (still have trouble at times) to try and not take things personally and try and see it from their perspective, becuase they need support as well for what they are going through.

Maybe you can talk to your sister about what she had said. Maybe mention to her that while you want to be a support to her ...that it's hard for you to hear such things when your having the opposite problem...and would give anything to have the opportunity to have a child (or two).. That way you can both be there for each other. Be a support to her...by listening and encouraging her but let her be a support to you also by sharing your feelings and desires with her...even if it means telling her that what she said....really hurt you.

But understand she wasn't meaning to hurt you....she was only looking for support...in the dilema she's dealing with.

to you!!!