[jenedens6102]

So while at church today I receive two text messages from my friend. She's 22, married and has two girls (2 and 8 months). She sent me the message to let me know that she found out last night she's pregnant again. Completely unexpected and unplanned. Well the thing about it is, I don't know that it was unplanned. Don't get me wrong I'm happy and excited for her. She is my only friend who has allowed me to be a part of each pregnancy from the beginning and up to the end, I was present for both births and they are like my nieces. However, as soon as we conceived early last year the first words out of her DH's mouth (who is my DH's good friend from school) was "it better not be a boy." Well we lost that pregnancy and they were devastated with us. Then when we conceived again that same comment was mentioned. Sure enough we are having a boy. So DH said, not trying to be mean but knowing his friend, that he didn't figure it'd be too long before they tried again. Even though after all her preterm labor scares with their second baby they were going to wait three years or so before trying again. My thought is I just hope that everything goes smoother this time around. I sat in that hospital room with her so many evenings of her second pregnancy while her DH worked (he works nights) knowing how her body was reacting to being pregnant again so soon and I fear it happening again because it's even sooner. I know they want a boy and have from the beginning but if this isn't a boy are they going to be content with three or really play that "we aren't stopping until we get what we want" card? I really blew a gasket with the second pregnancy because the day they learned it was another girl he got upset about it. Blames her for not "cooking it right." He's the guy, he determines the sex! But anyway, this will make baby number three for them in less then four years and all while we've been trying. They conceived baby number one the weekend of my first IUI so that was rough but we managed. Now I was finally so excited to be able to share my pregnancy with them and show them the difference between enjoying and complaining over a pregnancy and they are expecting again. Lord give me strength.

[wannabeamama]

I can only imagine your frustration right now, but try and stay focused on your beautiful, blessed miracle and don't let your friends' situation bring you any negative energy. She is your friend and you love her and you are happy for her, but don't get sucked into any drama, good or bad. You need to conserve your energy and thoughts for yourself , your DH and most of all, your baby boy. I pray for the Lord to give you strength and peace. SERENITY NOW!

[jenedens6102]

Oh I'm not frustrated or trying to be negative, I hope my vent didn't signal that. I just hope that it wasn't something that was done just because we are having a boy, I hope that this pregnancy runs smoother then her last and I hope that we all get to continue to grow our families together. I've said many times that in our 5 years of trying we've welcomed more then 30 babies to our friends and two to our family. So we are used to it. No negative energy here, we see each and every little one as a blessing and they do bless our lives in their own ways.

[CryingInside]

Wow Jen did I read that right---2 and 8 months old? Man, I couldn't imagine! I too hope that it all turns out ok. I wouldn't worry about whether or not your having a baby boy had anything to do with their decision, it was something they decided to do, even knowing the risks. I just hope that they can be content with whatever blessing is bestowed upon them.

[mum2abbylily]

I hope that it all works out too.....sounds like her DH needs a little talking to about EVERY child being an individual miracle, not just boys! Hope his little girls don't know they were a 'disappointment' to him.... It makes me sad when I hear of someone with that attitude. Good Luck Jen, for you and your friend!

[BabySteps]

Wow Jen your friends DH should be happy to have healthy babies regardless of the sex. The sex of the child does come from the male. They need to be reminded that they are sooo lucky to be able to concieve naturally. I worry for your friend because of her DH reactions. Men typically don't change.....

[jenedens6102]

I know. I was so upset when he was disappointed with the fact that he was having a second beautiful and healthy baby girl. I kept thinking, I would die to have a baby - regardless of gender. It's something we continued to say in this pregnancy. It wasn't the gender that mattered to us as much as the baby being healthy and our pregnancy being healthy and strong. It was hurtful for my DH that her DH's first words were "it better not be a boy" when we announced our pregnancies rather then hearing congratulations. I guess another bit of information to share is that my DH's best friend is having a boy due in February and another friend just had his second son in less then a year so maybe her Dh feels like all the guys are having boys and he's got two girls. I don't know. I just hope that they cherish this pregnancy for the blessing and miracle that it is.

[mrsrodgers]

Jen - I understand completely what you are saying. You are genuinely happy for them but you hope they are doing this for all the right reasons and really cherish the gift they are being given again...I have a friend that is pregnant and did it intetionally for her dad to buy them a house and she and her DH have never truly wanted a baby but that said, her DH expects that it will be a boy and if not I don't know what he will do.. I am happy for them to be having a baby but then I have these feelings that are hard to explain....frustration being the main one....I guess I have never understood the necessity of having a boy so much as a healthy baby. Good luck and I hope that your friend and her DH are genuinely happy about this baby whether it is a boy or a girl....

[jenedens6102]

Sandi, my husband and I are the same way. Our wish has always been a healthy baby, gender wasn't an issue. While we understand the want for a male child to carry on the name it wasn't a necessity for us. Although Dh's family might like to say it was because he would have been the last male Edens in his family, we weren't so caught up in it. We never will be. Whatever God gives us is the most wonderful blessing we could ask for.