[CParker110]

Hey everyone, my fiance and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months now but I have had fertility problems as long as i can remember. I am alergic to the pill so was never on birth control. After having unprotected sex for 7 or 8 years its pretty obvoius there is a problem. I am going to see a specialist this month and dont yet know what the problem is.
My question to you all is how do you deal with the emotional part of it? It really messes with my head...I get so upset that there are so many women out there that have no problems and can conceive when they dont even want to and I cant. My fiance has a son and I get so upset that his ex was able to give him a child (unplanned and unexpected) and I cant. How do you keep that from consuming you and tearing you up? I try so hard to stay positive but sometimes it is so hard and I dont want to burden my fiance with it all. Any suggestions or help would really be appreciated!!

[kylie666]

hi,
im going through the same thing we've been trying for a year now but have both got a fertility problem.. i'm have problems dealing with it i cry myself to sleep at least twice a week and i have also been shuting people out of my life just because i dont feel like doing anything....i feel like noone understands what im going through and how i feel...everytime i hear dont worry it will happen i want to hurt someone...
please if anyone has advise please let me know i hate feelign this way...or if you in the same boat and want to talk let me know...

[casb77]

You're absolutely right, this whole IF stuff totally blows. If you don't have any close friends or family you can count on to be supportive, I highly recommend this forum. All the women and men know what you're going through and are immensely supportive. There are always new women joining and also women who have been around for a while. You're bound to find at least a few people with exactly the same diagnosis as you, which goes a LONG, LONG way to making you feel less alone, even if you never meet in person.

Besides this forum, I've also found journaling to be helpful to get all the crazy thoughts out of my head. I don't do it anywhere near regularly, just when there are things swirling around in there and not letting me think about anything else. I just dump it all out on paper and then I don't think about it as much.

You'll also feel better once you have a plan of what to do to overcome your issues. I was a wreck until the Dr. said IVF and now that we're actually moving forward and doing something about our IF it's amazing how much less I cry and rant about it. It's worst when you feel helpless about your situation.

Hang in there and good luck to you!

[croth458]

Wow, that sounds just like me. I get so angry when people tell me it will happen or just to have faith. One of these days I'm going to explode and actually verbalize all the angry thoughts in my head and ask if they've got a crystal ball or a direct line to God concerning my chances at pregnancy. It also kills me when people ask when I'm planning to have kids.

[abg9639]

I know exactly how all of you feel. I am only 25, but I have been trying for 3 years. My mother had fertility issues and it took her three years to conceive me (she had me at age 23). I am undiagnosed which only makes me feel less in control since I don't know what the problem is. I have always had extremely painful periods that were very sporadic. Since I started on Clomid (5 months ago) my periods have still been painful but at least they are regular (my cycle is now almost always 32 days long). So, while it's very exciting to see a change, I wonder how much longer I'm going to have to wait until I finally get told that this has all been a lost cause. My friends tell me that I need to stay positiv, but that's easier said than done. I hate it when my mom says, "Your time will come." She went through this! She should know better than to say something stupid like that. Plus my sister just had a baby and my SIL is pregnant. My cousin's wife just had a baby and my husband's cousins girlfriend just had a baby. And that's not to mention the half a dozen cousins and other family members that are also pregnant or just had a baby. It's so hard for me to stay positive when I feel so hopeless.

[JessicaN]

I definitely do not have the answer for how to deal with the emotional stuff.

It at times might seem like I am doing better and then something just catches me off guard. Yesterday I was with a friend that has a 16mo unplanned and is with #2 unplanned (they also each have 2 children from previous relationships). Then today I found out a cousin is expectantly . .

I had been upbeat about meeting with a new RE and starting a new treatment plan. It's crazy how fast you can fall going through this! I also understand the added frustration of being undiagnosed. We have been TTC for about 4.5 years. Not preventing x 6ish yrs. It's hard when all the tests come back "normal" but it just isin't happening! It's really a day by day thing, at least with me. Good luck to all!

[jkbarney]

I too understand what your saying about one day everything seems fine and the next well.... I had been waiting to get the green light on getting an HSG test done. I had a large ovaian cyst 5.5 cm that had needed to decrease in size before anymore steps. Anyway, I received notice that it had decreased and I could set a date for the HSG. I felt good about the month ahead only to be 5 days late for my period, excited with hopes to tell family on V-day I'm preg. but NO I got my period just in time with awful cramps along with it. I don't get it when is enough, enough

[lewlou]

not only do I feel anger towards the situation, but I also feel angry towards myself and husband, we let so much time go by before acting. See we have a son together, so we thought it will just happen again, by the time we found out his sperm count was low and corected that , my fsh was 16,it is now 26. I am trying another donor egg cycle soon. wow I just called back for mammo follow up , hope its not serious. I had surgery 2 years ago , this could put my plans on hold. So now I am also angry about that. I learned not to worry about thing I can not control

[dez81379]

I have just joined this forum bcause I felt so alone. I am surrounded by people in my life that love me but, just dont understand the emotional side of my situation. I have heard so many times Its just not the right time for you. I will be 30 this year and have been married for nine years. Never ever used any type of protection. This forum has helped me alot. I am still depressed dont get me wrong, but, it gives me a i am not alone security. Allows me to vent to people who really understand and ask questions to others who have been exactly where i am now.