[Dreamer8]

I too go through bouts of depression and find myself feeling unhappy and bitter a lot of the time. Unfortunately my living arrangements throw a loop in the mix. My husbands brother, his wife and baby live with us. I love the little girl to death, but I am just finding it so hard to be around her right now.

I am in the 2ww after my first clomid/IUI and I am trying not to go crazy thinking about it, but being around a baby sure doesnt help. I feel really guilty for my thoughts and my husband doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset. Every time I see her with him it tares me apart, I feel like a failure.

I spend most of my time in my room by myself, I too am hoping to find some support through these forums

[Neta]

Originally Posted by Dreamer8

I too go through bouts of depression and find myself feeling unhappy and bitter a lot of the time. Unfortunately my living arrangements throw a loop in the mix. My husbands brother, his wife and baby live with us. I love the little girl to death, but I am just finding it so hard to be around her right now.

I am in the 2ww after my first clomid/IUI and I am trying not to go crazy thinking about it, but being around a baby sure doesnt help. I feel really guilty for my thoughts and my husband doesn't seem to understand why I'm so upset. Every time I see her with him it tares me apart, I feel like a failure.

I spend most of my time in my room by myself, I too am hoping to find some support through these forums

At 1 point or another we all go through this why not me deal... just stay focused and know that maybe your neice is there to make you a better mommy when it is your turn, we have had EVERYONE elses kids and babies for years, so when we decided to go with the IVF people were happy but I know they were like dag now all that attention for my kid is gone, well yes and no I still love my God children but right now I have to focus on my baby and people always asked me you always have everyone elses child are you going to have enough love for your own..my reply I have more than enough love for my own and theirs. Their babies just prepared me for what is to come...So look at the glass as half full and not half empty, get all the practice you can with ur neice and keep it moving. Your a strong woman and not a failure!!!!
Hugs to you
Neta

[JessicaN]

Hi, I can relate to what you are feeling. I also have had a hard time with guilty feelings.

It's hard once you find out someone else is expecting, and you just can't feel happy for them. It's hard to watch their belly grow and listen to their excitement. Then they have the baby I just put up a wall.

I feel bad because I don't want to hear their stories of what their baby did. I don't want to hear other people commenting on how cute their baby is. Sometimes I feel like I ignore my friends/family with babies or young children.

I almost feel like it is some kind of denial. It just becomes almost painful to watch others with their child and know that I have been trying for that for so long but don't know when/if it will ever happen. Then I feel so guilty because I can't be excited for an expecting friend, I can't be interested in what her baby can do. I also feel depressed, angry, and bitter at times. Sometimes I am worried that even if I do have a baby I won't be able to let go of some of these feelings because they have become such a reflex to seeing/hearing about others pregnancy/children.

I do hope things go well for you though! (It's good to hear when someone else who has had to go through this journey gets pregnant, it provides much needed hope!)