[littleblue]

warning:vent 3:30am
so my heart has been like a tumor in my chest all month about fertility stuff, and my husband hardly seems sad. i know he is stressed and he told me he is, but i am the only one crying in the house. so last night (4 hours ago) i told him i was headed for bed. we had been playing an online game together which he was continuing to play (every chance he gets) and said he would be coming soon. he had just told me earlier that his testosterone treatment must be working cause he had wanted sex so much in the last 3 or 4 days. i was happy and surprised to hear it at first and was expecting some tonight, but it begs the question, why the hell didn't you tell me?!? i have been going to bed alone (that means: cold toes dark room no sex) for the last 3 or 4 nights! tonight i tried to wait for him, but woke up to see him snoring away with all the blankets at 3:00am; i have no idea when he got there. i feel so alone and sad and angry how can i get him to open up to me? i really want him to share in the sadness. i feel guilty that i'm the only one crying and bumming around. i wish he would just yell or cry or something so i could comfort him for a change.

[JennHS]

Littleblue- It's very stressful on a relationship when your ttc; one main reason being you're two different people dealing with the same situation differently. I think us ladies just feel it so intensely because our bodies are actually changing throughout our cycle so we feel it physically as well as emotionally. My DH never really shows sad emotions, it's not in his genetics. He has become more comforting to me over the years but it's been through a lot of communication(some arguing). I always assumed he knew what I was feeling. The truth is he didn't have a clue. So I would get mad because he didn't read my mind properly! Honestly the best thing you can do is tell him how you feel. You can't make him react the way you want but you can tell him what you need. You guys don't need any extra pressure. Try to focus on the fun part of ttc and tell him to get to bed!!! Don't give up and don't be so hard on yourself or him.(I almost got myself a divorce that way) Best of luck!!!

[littleblue]

hi jenn thanks for responding to my vent. i was having a really bad few days. now i'll try to keep a diary close at hand for when i'm really worked up emotionally. the hormones at the end of my cycle just eat me up and i can't think straight. i'm trying to ease up on the DH also. he is a really sweet guy actually and we almost never fight. like your DH my DH doesn't usually show his emotions and he doesn't pick up on mine until i'm holding back tears. but the good thing is that once i'm all teary he is generally a good sport about it.


we finally decided to go ahead and buy a puppy . i have been working away with the pup all week and the distraction/comfort of having something to take care of is really helping me. i have something to wake up and get dressed for. a housewife with no babies gets lazy and sad after a year of TTC.

[fuzzykitten]

Hi littleblue,

Oh I always wanted a puppy!!

Infertility is taking such a toll on me that I often forget that my DH isn't just a bystander. He's in it with me too. And after a long day at work, he has to come home to reassure me that we'll have a baby someday...

Hang in there. You and your DH love each other, you'll figure something out. I wish you and DH luck!