[CParker110]

Hey everyone, my fiance and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few months now but I have had fertility problems as long as i can remember. I am alergic to the pill so was never on birth control. After having unprotected sex for 7 or 8 years its pretty obvoius there is a problem. I am going to see a specialist this month and dont yet know what the problem is.
My question to you all is how do you deal with the emotional part of it? It really messes with my head...I get so upset that there are so many women out there that have no problems and can conceive when they dont even want to and I cant. My fiance has a son and I get so upset that his ex was able to give him a child (unplanned and unexpected) and I cant. How do you keep that from consuming you and tearing you up? I try so hard to stay positive but sometimes it is so hard and I dont want to burden my fiance with it all. Any suggestions or help would really be appreciated!!

[kylie666]

hi,
im going through the same thing we've been trying for a year now but have both got a fertility problem.. i'm have problems dealing with it i cry myself to sleep at least twice a week and i have also been shuting people out of my life just because i dont feel like doing anything....i feel like noone understands what im going through and how i feel...everytime i hear dont worry it will happen i want to hurt someone...
please if anyone has advise please let me know i hate feelign this way...or if you in the same boat and want to talk let me know...

[casb77]

You're absolutely right, this whole IF stuff totally blows. If you don't have any close friends or family you can count on to be supportive, I highly recommend this forum. All the women and men know what you're going through and are immensely supportive. There are always new women joining and also women who have been around for a while. You're bound to find at least a few people with exactly the same diagnosis as you, which goes a LONG, LONG way to making you feel less alone, even if you never meet in person.

Besides this forum, I've also found journaling to be helpful to get all the crazy thoughts out of my head. I don't do it anywhere near regularly, just when there are things swirling around in there and not letting me think about anything else. I just dump it all out on paper and then I don't think about it as much.

You'll also feel better once you have a plan of what to do to overcome your issues. I was a wreck until the Dr. said IVF and now that we're actually moving forward and doing something about our IF it's amazing how much less I cry and rant about it. It's worst when you feel helpless about your situation.

Hang in there and good luck to you!

[croth458]

Wow, that sounds just like me. I get so angry when people tell me it will happen or just to have faith. One of these days I'm going to explode and actually verbalize all the angry thoughts in my head and ask if they've got a crystal ball or a direct line to God concerning my chances at pregnancy. It also kills me when people ask when I'm planning to have kids.