[madge]

I’ve visited here and found wonderful wisdom from experienced cyclers, but I’m afraid I haven’t contributed to the group before. I am in a daze now as we’re in the middle of a failing DE cycle and I wonder if some ladies might comment.

ED is 29 and a medical student/new doctor. She is an RE fellow, so she is knowledgeable about fertility treatment & empathizes with women TTC. She donated at age 23 (18 folls, twin preg) & 25 (20 folls, unknown). She has a child, age 2. She had a miscarriage before this pregnancy, but we didn’t worry about it—it happens. Everyone at our clinic said she is the ideal donor.

But there were worrisome signs from the start. On day 4, the donor’s E2 was very low, so they started upping her meds. Later levels also seemed low. In the end, she stimmed for 14 days, 10 folls, all fertilized (DH’s sample was brilliant), 9 left by day 2, 8 left by day 3 & RE advised to wait for day 5. By day 5, only 2 blasts, a grade B & a grade C. There was a morula so poor they refused to freeze it. My levels were textbook—perfect lining (13.4mm), fibroids stable & none in lining anyway, E2 great & thyroid level maintained. I had some cramping & spotting 6 days post xfer, then got an HCG of 85 on 10dp5dt. My next HCG doubled in 65 hrs—perfectly ok, but the nurse started getting ominous. Next level doubled in 44 hrs, next 50 hrs—I was at 7,000 on Fri. Ultrasound at 6w0d—sonographer froze up & refused to explain what was on-screen & said “talk to the doctor.” Only gestational sac visible, RE told us no hope, he sees this as a blighted embryo, but insists we come back Fri. for another US. He sees no problems on our end, but has no explanation for this except “catastrophic chromosomal problems in egg’”. He says the donor produced less than he usually sees (avg 12-14 folls, 3-5 good blasts), but it’s not necessary an overall quality issue, maybe just a fluke. We asked if we would have been better off with Day 3 xfer—is it possible that some good quality embryos arrested at day 3?—he says no, the development of all of the others was lagging & not promising. So what can we think except all of the donor’s eggs were problematic? But the RE won’t say it. He says quality doesn’t begin to decline until 34, so he was adamant that we wouldn’t have been better off with a 20 year old. I realize I need to keep the faith in case the tiny one is still viable, but DH & I are just crushed.

Besides that, we feel absolutely blindsided. We spent 1.5 yrs looking for a reputable agency & donor & thought we’d made the best choice possible. The donor doesn’t even look much like me or my husband—we were so focused on looking at fertility history, reliability & motivation that we left things like appearance by the wayside. If it’s all so random that you can have total failure with even the “ideal donor,” how could we possibly have the courage to do this again? (not to mention the huge financial risk). Any thoughts you could offer would be immensely appreciated. (Is ChantalTTC in the house?)

[J-LYN]

Madge,

I just wanted to give you my sympathy for your situation. Omg, I can feel your pain! after all the failed IVF's its hard to imagine having a failure on DE. But I see it happens.

I'm intrested to see how many DE 's take more than 1 try.

My heart goes out to you. It seems like bad deal if he donors eggs were not so great, but how can you tell that when she was such a proven donor?

Could there have been a problem with the cultivation in the lab? You may never know.
Wish you the best,
Hugs, Janet (j-lyn)

[ballerinagirl]

Madge- Sorry this happened. I would consider using a program that uses in- house donors that they are comfortable with. Our clinic likes under 28 or 29 unless its family. To save money do a split cycle it can cost less than half. Make sure you have a hysteroscopy which I'm sure you have to have a thorough uterine eval. The success rates are high but my doc says if you have frozens to work with its even higher. Miscarriage is still a reality too. I guess I'll never stop worrying about all the what-ifs but I feel blessed this option is even available. I wish you well and will pray for a good outcome on your next cycle.

[natalie28]

Madge, My clinic will take donors up to 30 yrs old. I think this is a worry we all have. It just seems so unfair. What are the success rates of your clinic in general?
I am sorry that this happened. We are all thinking of you.

[LizzyB]

I'm so sorry this didn't work out better for you. It must be a huge letdown and again I'm very sorry.