[APmama]

We do know that eventually we will tell our child about using a donor, but we just aren't sure when to tell our families.

What have you done or what are you planning on doing?

[Logyn]

My hubby has Klinefelters Syndrome, therefore, most of his immediate family members are familiar with his condition and are aware that we are using a donor. However, on the flip side, my side of the family does not know, and we have decided NOT to tell them. DH and I have discussed this and we both feel comfortable keeping it between us. Who knows, maybe we will change our minds in the future, but for right now, we are sticking to our guns.

Good Luck to you.

[cali_girl_in_sweden]

Hello! My hubby's immediate family know and my sister knows. Both of my parents have already passed so that's why they don't know. I have another sister that I haven't told just because we aren't that close.
As far as friends, only 2 know. We will also be telling our daughter about her beginnings and really want her to know before everyone else does. We are not ashamed or embarrased, just want to discuss with our daughter and let her be the one to tell people if she desires.

good luck, it's a hard decision to come to .

[stephanielllll]

We are using donor sperm and have chosen to not tell anyone. We feel most comfortable not telling our family. We are the first in both of our families dealing with IF and already our families are having issues understanding IF in general so felt better to keep it our little secret.

When we finally get pregnant, we may change our minds so who knows?!?

[~Twilight~]

We are using donor eggs and have been open with everyone about it.

[infertilitynovice]

It is a very personal decision, and everybody has their own reasons for or against being open. We have a very complicated history, but basically my DH's oldest son is not his biological son. He raised him and formally adopted him when he was 5. He is his exwife's son and then they had a son together. My husband has custody of both now. I've heard his parents (my inlaws) talk about how the oldest isn't "blood" and all that BS. We chose DS instead of IVF/ICSI due to finances and I refuse to open my daughter up to that type of discrimination. I do, however, understand the importance of knowing medical history. I plan to write a letter to my daughter and mail it to myself, then present it to her when she is an adult. It won't be easy to tell her then but being a teenager is hard enough without wondering where you come from too. I hope that by writing it out now and keeping it til she's older she will see that I always intended to tell her. To bad hindsight is just that and I can't know now how she'll do with the news, but I feel this is the best decision I can make with the information I have now. My stepsons fight hard enough against me as it is, I don't want them shutting her out too because of her genetic makeup. I feel my hands are tied but if this were a "fresh" start then I would be much more inclined to be open. Our family just has too much history.

You do whatever you feel is best for you and your family.