[yogalaura]

Hi all, I am in Atlanta and trying to figure out how to deal with the various emotional landmines that this process seems to have. I want to get onto solid ground and make this happen but am still . You know?

Has anyone had experience with in-person support groups for DE? I have heard that RESOLVE helps put women in touch through their chapters. I would love to find a group of moms, not only to talk through issues that I am feeling now, but also to have a group of women who have kids through DE so that I will feel like there are women out there I can see and hang out with (have playgroups with, whatever) who "get it". Because my sense is that unless you have lived it, you don't.

Any thoughts here?

thanks!

[LGB]

Hi Laura,

Good luck with your upcoming DE cycle! I am very excited for you!

I wanted to share my experience with DE so far. It wasn't a difficult decision for my DH and I since at the age of 30, after 2 IVFs with my own eggs that went terribly, it became very clear that it was our only option.

At first we were consulting with clinics that shared pictures of the donors and I found that to be very difficult because I keep picturing those women and couldn't get these images out of my head. However, we ended up at a clinic that does not show any pictures at all (yes, difficult to choose a donor and I relied heavily on/put a lot of trust in my DE Coordinator). I understood after choosing my donor why they don't show pictures-there is so much less of a connect or constantly being reminded that you used a donor.

Honestly, after we chose our donor, we did not talk about her or think about the fact that we used a donor-it just didn't come up and wasn't important. And now that we are pregnant, we are just so elated that it worked that it just doesn't cross our minds at all. It's hard to explain but it's just not something that we think about. We will have our baby and it will be our baby, just like any other parents that either conceived naturally, did IVF, adopted, fostered, or whichever path to parenthood they chose.

As far as having women to talk to now about it, please join us on the DE thread II-we are all at different stages over there and everyone can share their experience with you.

I hope sharing my experience with you maybe gives you another perspective about getting pg. via DE. Good luck in your upcoming cycle!

[ballerinagirl]

laura


Its hard to wrap your brain around it. I view this as a leap of faith and now have b/g twins that add much joy to our household. Same husband and we had two biological children just wanted to have more healthy babies. I viewed it as an early adoption. Would love to answer any questions you may have? Doesn't Atlanta have frozen donor eggs?

We never saw a photo I feel it would be hard not to see her face. I trusted my re doc and he chose his "star" donor for us. I was trying for years with my own eggs and just reached my endpoint. I still dream about having another miracle baby with my husband. This journey is very difficult but a happy ending is possible.

[kirstyloo]

Laura - What type of support group would you be going to? My DH and I went to a couple of support groups through our RE. Because it was a general infertility group, it was both good and hard. There were people there who were simply concerned that they might have trouble conceiving. Most were doing clomid with or without IUI, and one was doing traditional IVF. On that note, we had very different issues than most of the people in the group. I did find it helpful a jumping off point to have later conversations with my DH who also attended the meeting. Once I got my BFP, I gave my contact info to the organizer of the group, and she is free to hand it out to anyone who is considering IVF or donor IVF. So far, I've had 3 people contact me.

Best of luck!

[kblythe]

Hey Laura,

I tried to PM you, but your inbox is full. I'm in Atlanta, too. I'm a single mom by choice who got pregnant with a donor embryo after several failed IVF attempts with my own eggs. I really mourned when I learned I couldn't get pregnant with my own eggs. But now that I'm on the other side, I know I have the baby God wanted me to have.

If you are really struggling, I have the name of a therapist here in Atlanta that I had to see before my clinic would even attempt a donor cycle. I really liked her, and she's down to earth. (As opposed to the flighty nit-wit I had to meet with before IVF!) But if you just want to talk to someone who has been through the range of emotions, just let me know. You can pm me, if you'd like. Since we're both in Atlanta, we could even meet for coffee!

Kathryn.