[infertilitynovice]

Did anyone else see watch the "hot topics" segment of today's show? Whoppi started the coversation with a story from England about twins separated at birth who later met, fell in love, and married. Apparently, they have been together for years but only recently found out they were brother and sister. They annulled the marriage...sad story, but anyway...this conversation led into one about how DS children are becoming more common these days and the "what ifs?" involved there!

Has this thought occured to anyone else using DE or DS?

Joy, from the View, says she thinks donors should have to reveal themselves! What?!?!?

Any opinions?

I think that's ridiculous! If it were a law, as she suggests, that donors can't be anonymous anymore, then less would donate, meaning the gene pool would be even smaller, thereby increasing the odds of something like this happening to one of our children.

I'm sure the odds of donor siblings marrying are almost impossible numbers, but...

So what do you do? Prick the fingers of all of your child's dates and ask for a cheek swab of all that have the same blood type? Use banks from across the country and not allow your children to go to college in that state?

What do you think? Is this taboo to talk about?

Perhaps I watch too much TV...

[wannabigbabybelly]

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The odds of that happening must be incredibly low...otherwise this story wouldn't have made such BIG news.

I think donors should be allowed to remain annonymous if they choose.

[chantalTTC]

I agree, let the donors remain anonymous if they so choose.

I've considered this possibility, as my donor (DE) has helped two other couples get pregnant for a total of 3 children so far and both couples had embies to freeze, so there could be more down the road. Although anything's possible, I figure with as mobile as my family tends to be and the millions of potential mates out there, the odds have to be pretty low. Certainly lower than if we lived in a tiny remote village in England where the pickins' are slim, ya know?

The finger pricking and cheek swab thing is interesting though - it reminds me of the movie, Gattica... Gene selection/engineering - pretty freaky concept which I fear could become a reality with where we're heading with PGD, etc.

Oy vay - it gets overwhelming thinking of all the what ifs... Right now, all I can focus on is the next step in our journey. I'll worry about avoiding two-headed grandchildren tomorrow! LOL

Kristen

[CryingInside]

I am pretty sure that a donor is only allowed to be the father of so many live births, then they take him off the list, right? Something like 3 maybe? So, I think the odds of those children meeting and falling in love is pretty slim, but it is still something that I guess could happen. I didn't see the program, but that would be horrible!

[foxxy]

I've heard of that happening too, and thought a lot aobut it when choosing our DS. The donors are only allowed to donate so much, so I'm not too worried either, especially since anyone in the world can purchase the same DS.

I too believe teh DS should be anonymous if that is what they choose.

[1of2mommies]

Originally Posted by wannabigbabybelly

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The odds of that happening must be incredibly low...otherwise this story wouldn't have made such BIG news.

ITA...it's news because the odds of it happening are slim to zero.

Apparently, in Canada, there are new laws (as of December) that all donors must agree to an open ID program... and this will certainly have an impact on the number of donors (already low here since it's against the law to receive payment or other compensation for donating).

Cryinginside, the rules about the number of children per donor vary with each bank. It can be quite high, like in the dozens, for some.

Personally, I feel very strongly that all children deserve information about their biological past, and am supportive of the move, even if it means fewer donors to choose from. It doesn't mean that the child HAS to get information about the donor, simply that they CAN if they make that decision. As my partner, who is adopted, reminds me, adopted children and donor children (until now) have had no rights in this regard, only the biological parent/donor has rights to conceal that information. It has been a very difficult thing for her not to know about her biology (race, ancestry, medical history, appearance, etc.). She doesn't want a relationship with her biological relatives, only information, and she has been denied that very basic bit of knowledge about herself.