[kidake]

What would you do if you located your anonymous donor on a random board and then the paperwork you received from your lawyer had her name printed on it! Of course, now I know her address and her phone number. I am freaking out!

I was googling beta's the other day and fell upon posts that were hers dating back a few years. I know for sure it was her because she had posted the day I had a BFP and my beta results (my agency told her). I also found out (by reading her posts) that all of her cycles WERE NOT successful (agency said they were).

Do I tell the agency about the contract? Do I tell the agency that I found her on a board and that I know all her donations weren't successful? I haven't told my DH at all about this and we are not telling ANYONE that we used donor eggs.

BTW...I've been following all your posts daily! It's wonderful to see all the BFP's!!!!

[dndtaylor]

Hi Kathy! I was just thinking about your post and thought I'd give my 2 cents. Is it really going to make a difference in the "big picture" if you tell your clinic that you found your anonymous donor? Does it matter to you and your DH? Also, you mentioned that the clinic stated she had all positives with cycles using her samples. That very well could be the case. The negatives that you've heard of or read about could have been with another clinic or something to that affect. You just really never know. I'd say let it go, tell DH what you've come across and then let it be. It doesn't sound like anything positive could possibly come if you let the clinic or even the donor know that you know who she is. Best of luck. Conrgrads on your BFP!

[kidake]

Thanks dndtaylor.

I used an agency for my donor...not through my clinic. It really bugs me that my agency told me that she was a 4x's proven donor when she wasn't. Fortunately, she's not donating anymore but I can't stop thinking why this would happen.

[chantalTTC]

I agree with Devan that it won't change your situation...that being said (and it's probably not very Buddhist of me!) I would probably mention what I'd found to the donor agency. More in a 'I thought you'd want to know' than in an 'I'm accusing you of something' tone, you know?

[hopeful2bmom]

I would definitely mention it or maybe make a link somewhere that helps other people/couples going to that agency for a donor. It is a LOT of money that you pay these agencies and if I were paying for something and it was not the truth- I would be very angry.

[thooker]

I would tell the agency, just so they would know what I have discovered. Also I would advise them to "tell the truth" to all of their patients no matter what, you never no. But that is just my opinion! Also I would tell my DH, it is eating you up inside you need someone to talk to.

[wannabigbabybelly]

I would tell the agency even if she's not a current donor for them. You might want to ask them ....What their criteria is that makes her a proven donor? and Why they listed her as such when she says she is not?

[wannabigbabybelly]

IMO- this does affect you, in that they led you to believe that your child has at least 4 other bio-siblings out there, that it may not have.

Thankfully you were able to get your . But can you imagine how upset you would have been to get a and then find out that indeed she was NOT ...a proven donor...like they said she was.