[tamtam]

I don't want to take away from the wonderful triplet mommies, but I wonder if the mommies of twins need a space to talk about things that are exclusive to them?. So here we go.

Anyone a little sad for their kids not getting to grow up as a singleton? I think the twin thing is wonderful, but am morning a bit about the kids not knowing mommy all alone.

[missjoli]

Are you having twins????????

[tamarie]

I worry about my boys getting one on one time with mommy and/or daddy but I think I just have to make sure that I make it a priority. Mostly, I'm happy they will always have each other and not be lonely since their step-brothers are 8 & 10 years older.
Congrats on your babies!

[callygirl-ingeorgia]

We are having twins and I really am not too worried about them not having me or my DH all to themselves because we have plenty of love to spread around! I think it will be great for them to always have a buddy to play with who is the same age as they are.

[itsgonnawork]

Hi ladies! It looks like I'm having twins, so mind if I join you?

Is anyone reading any special books? I already have "What to Expect When you're Expecting", but it only has a small section on multiples. I just ordered "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads" from Amazon and I'm hoping it will be good.

[docshoney]

I have twins and have a gf that have twins and we have talked about it being difficult to give them individual attention. It is really hard, especially when you are home alone with them. Mine are starting to get jealous of one another, while I am feeding one the other fusses, not from hunger they are just irritated that I am not playing with them. I think it is valid to have these concerns and everyone will figure out what works for them. I am very glad that they will have each other. My DH and I were discussing the other day how we will handle b-days when they are older, we came to the conclusion that only time will tell. What works one day might not work the next so we just keep adapting to what they need.

[yobaby]

Hello everyone, and congratulations to everyone on their babies.

I was just worrying about not being able to bond with each baby. I know we have enough love to go around, but I worry that one will feel more neglected than the other.
I guess we just have to try extra hard and treat them as the distinct individuals that they are. I find it hard right now because we are keeping the sex a surprise so I'm always just referring to them as "the twins".

"When you're expecting twins...." is a great book. A lot of nutritional info and what to expect if you have preemies. But take her food intake with a grain of salt. So hard to eat as much as she recommends, but nice to have book directed at multiples.

[hopeless?]

My twins are 9 months and I used to go to bed feeling so bad that I may have spent more time holding one over the other and since my daughter had colic she was always in my arms and my poor son would just sit and watch. I find that I still go to bed wondering if I spent enough one on one time with each but the bottom line is that I am only one person and I do what I can. I'm sure if we're not worried about this there will be something else for us to worry about. I love the fact that they will always have each other!

[heather]

[quote=yobaby]
I guess we just have to try extra hard and treat them as the distinct individuals that they are. I find it hard right now because we are keeping the sex a surprise so I'm always just referring to them as "the twins".

We also kept the sex of the twins a surprise, it was great!! Hard at each ultrasound not to find out, but worth it in the end.

I too worry that I give to much attention to one baby, or that one baby feels left out. My daughter can feed herself her bottle, but my son doesn't so I feel like she notices that I hold/feed him more. In reality I am sure they don't notice-plus they love each other so much that mabey they don't care.

[tamtam]

Originally Posted by hopeless?

My twins are 9 months and I used to go to bed feeling so bad that I may have spent more time holding one over the other and since my daughter had colic she was always in my arms and my poor son would just sit and watch. I find that I still go to bed wondering if I spent enough one on one time with each but the bottom line is that I am only one person and I do what I can. I'm sure if we're not worried about this there will be something else for us to worry about. I love the fact that they will always have each other!

I think your right. It is hard I am sure for parents of multiple (singletons). How do you give enough time to each child...glad I am not the only one thinking that.

For us...not sure if we have a vanishing twin or not. We do have beta of 19,727 approx. which is good i think.

[fossie]

I enjoyed Twinspiration and I also got Dr. Luke's book - don't recall the name and the Multiple Pregnancy sourcebook - both of those are pretty good for reference but I have found that mostly I have used the What to Expect book because symptoms and problems and concerns have been relatively the same for twin and singleton pregnancy. I know raising them will be different and I haven't gotten any when the twins are here books yet but I am sure I will soon.

As far as giving them equal time I haven't really thought about it - I have fears that both will be crying and need something and I will have to arbitrarily choose who gets attention first but I have heard that is a good thing - forces you to teach them early to self soothe, not demand immediate attention, etc. I don't remember a thing from when I was a newborn and I don't think they will be comparing time held or spent with them or could even if they wanted to and I don't think it will affect what kind of relationship they have with you or each other.

[hopeless?]

Oh trust me they will both cry and need things at the same time a lot! I hated when they first came home and would both want to be fed at the same time and one would have to wait while I did the other..oh did that break my heart. Your right though they won't remember any of it, I guess some things will be more painful for us. As they got bigger I was able to feed them both at the same time by putting them in their bouncer chairs...remember that one ladies!

[nursesunshine]

I am a bit concerned about giving enough attention to both but I think it will all work out. I'm just glad these twins are my first cause I don't know how ladies do it with another one (like a toddler!!) already around! That would be hectic! I'm sure there will be times when all of us will be crying but we will get through it I'm a little worried about my dog actually cause he is used to being the baby and I think he might be a bit neglected for a while with no arms to hold him!

[yobaby]

[quote=heather]

Originally Posted by yobaby

I guess we just have to try extra hard and treat them as the distinct individuals that they are. I find it hard right now because we are keeping the sex a surprise so I'm always just referring to them as "the twins".

We also kept the sex of the twins a surprise, it was great!! Hard at each ultrasound not to find out, but worth it in the end.

I too worry that I give to much attention to one baby, or that one baby feels left out. My daughter can feed herself her bottle, but my son doesn't so I feel like she notices that I hold/feed him more. In reality I am sure they don't notice-plus they love each other so much that mabey they don't care.

Heather- Katelyn and Samuel are so beautiful. From reading your signature I can see you had some really difficult times. I'm so glad you got your miracles.

[yobaby]

Originally Posted by hopeless?

Oh trust me they will both cry and need things at the same time a lot! I hated when they first came home and would both want to be fed at the same time and one would have to wait while I did the other..oh did that break my heart. Your right though they won't remember any of it, I guess some things will be more painful for us. As they got bigger I was able to feed them both at the same time by putting them in their bouncer chairs...remember that one ladies!

Hopeless: I love the picture of Owen and Olivia sleeping face to face like that. They are so precious. Congratulations to you and dh