[historyteach]

amanda - just want to send you hugs!!! and i hope that you can find peace with what you need to do to make sure that your little guy is taking care of

em - thinking about you and hope that you are feeling better and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

[praying4peanut]

Amanda, girl I feel you. I have not much to say that will help as my pj has been started on soy formula as of yesterday as well. All I can suggest is that since I have the mastitis and am not able to nurse, they've made me continue to pump to try to clear the clog. Well since I've been pumping my production of milk has increased. I suggest you try to rent a hospital grade pump and try to boost that way. Thinking of ya, good luck.
Thanks ladies for the kind words- I dunno what I'd do without you. It turns out there is no ppd group in Peoria, so I'm screwed. I'm going to go chat with my pastor tomorrow morning and pray she has some good thoughts. I have concocted a plan to try to sneak in a breastfeeding session now and then and see how he takes it. I'm not convinced of the milk allergy and the thought of boob time with my pj gives me encouragement, so I'll take what I can get. I haven't gone a day without crying for a few weeks, I gotta so something to get control...

[waiting..patiently]

Em,

I am not sure if this will help but my older son is lactose intolerant so we only have lactose free milk in the house, I use for myself as well and Brock does not seem to have any milk related issues - It might be worth a try to use lactose free products (same nutritional value) when breastfeeding or at least discussing this as an option with your doctor. Just a thought...we moms will try anything. Please hang in there. Have you tried to find a PPD site where you can chat like this. Also are there baby groups in you area through a health network? This may be a spot just to meet other new moms, get out of the house and chat with adults for a while.

Thinking of all our new moms,

Kim

[PN01]

Hi to all,i am a very silent reader of July forum,as my due date is around July 31st-Aug 2nd.It varied a lot.

I went through a lot in this pregnancy,from triplets(Identicals and singleton,1 embie spilit),to a single pregnancy(One of the identical twin),my story is same as Val,but she is successful with all 3.With all this i dint actively participate in posting and all.

I had my baby on July 31st,and i have problems with breastfeeding,she dont latch at all,she is a pretty lazy girl indeed.I pump.I am still recovering from a last min emergency C-sec,so i may try from next week to seriously breatfeed her and put a stop to pumping.

Anyways,the reason i popped in now is , i know that " GARLIC " taken in any form helps a lot in Milk production.I think u know about Fenugreek.Even Oatmeal and spinach also helps.But Garlic is the best.But it works best during baby's first week,that is when our milk starts coming in.

Just give a try,see if it helps.
I just hope it will work for u all too.

[Hopefulmommy09]

With all the breast feeding issues that some of us seem to have (for me one side works and it causes issues with Brea) I think if we all take a step back and think about what we would have said a year ago. Would it have mattered? I know that All I wanted was a healthy baby and I would have cut off my right and left boob to get her here saftly.....I think we all have ideals but lets just remember that if we have to supplement, use formula, or just pump who cares! We have our little ones!

[Hopefulmommy09]

I know of a family who have a 5 month old who has been diagnosed with SMA Type I. He was given a few months to live. I am so sad for this family it just breaks my heart. I look at my little Brea and pray that I never have to go through that. I guess I am telling you guys this because it really bothers me. Maybe we all could say a silent prayer for them....The worse thing is that they just found out a month ago....they thought everything was normal I could not imagine......

[praying4peanut]

Hey ladies,
Just wanted to check in from a normal computer for once. Well my little man was screaming most of last night and this morning and from pumping, for some reason my milk was starting to dry up. I had made an appointment with my Pastor to come by the church today and talk with her about everything going on and just say a little prayer. While we were there, Payton's doctor was returning my call and after discussing Payton's behavior on formula as well as my milk issues, they're giving me the go ahead to feed him breast exclusively again. I am probably going to go with my instincts and create some combination of formula/breast milk schedule to go with him better, but he's miserable. He's been super constipated since Wednesday but yet calm and alert at times. We figured since we didn't know if it was my milk or allergy issues 100%, it was best to give me the chance to nurse him again. He was so excited he practically leaped onto my boob before gorging himself and passing out into a boob coma. I just pray my milk starts coming back in a little bit more and that it's not hurting my little guy. Wednesday when I started pumping, I was getting 4 oz out of 'old righty' and about 2 out of lefty. As of last night, I could only get 1 1/2 out of righty and not much out of lefty...I just have lots of praying to do for me, my little man, my husband and our group. One thing that did kind of snap me back out of illusion was my pastor said that I have to put myself first and that's something I haven't been prepared to do. We worked soooo hard to get our little men and women here and it's like they are our only life. But crying everyday and just melting down constantly aren't helping anyone, even though it makes me feel better. I cried and cried with Payton last night while he was up screaming. I used to be upset that I wasn't getting enough sleep (whichreally isn't helping much either) but it's more so that I just don't want him to be in any discomfort. It's just not fair - these babies are so little and innocent.
Hopeful - I didn't even know what SMA was until you said something and I looked it up. How terrible that truly is - I said a prayer for your friends, I CANNOT imagine.
Hope everyone has a good weekend. We have the Godfather and his wife visiting tomorrow and my girlfriend from college coming Sunday. My old coworker is coming over tonight so that DH and I have time to clean the house and prepare for the weekend. Good stuff.
Thanks again ladies for the support. I know in my heart that I will be able to get out of this funk once Payton's past this colicky stage, until then, I just can't escape that it's a rough road we're on. All I can do anymore is pray. Serenity now
Hopefully I'll be able to catch up more with everyone else as I get a little bit more back to reality...

[Anavaz]

Ada - I've also heard that yeast helps milk production. I was taking yeast pills, they didn't make a difference for me, but it doesn't mean they won't work for you, it's worth a try and can only help.

Em - I'm very happy you are able to breastfeed again, I know how important it is for you. I'll pray PJ gets better and that his joy of being back on the boob helps too.

AFM-
I have stopped brestfeeding all together. My milk was about 1/4oz and Iker would just take alot of air and get gassy. It has been very dissapointing but I tried averything to make it work and it still didn't, so I am content with that. I know I gave it my best and it just wasn't meant to be. I've done my research and I read thyroid issues can affect milk production. So I'm thinking that is what happened. My mother also didn't give any milk (less than me, nothing at all) and she has thyroid problems so I'm thinking my issue has something to do with congenital hormonal problems. I've made my peace with it. Plus Iker is doing well with his formula, he's 11lbs now. I wish thing would've been different but you have to work with what has been given to you and this is what we got. At least he got 1 month of breastmilk, even if it was less than 2 ounces a day.

[Hopefulmommy09]

Emily am glad that Payton gets to breast feed again.

I wouldn't feel bad about switching to formula......some babies do better on it.

AFM: Brea is now on the normal baby scale again! It was adjusted for her prematurity, but she is now in the 75% in weight (11lb 9oz) and 40th for height. Her head is in the 75th.

I start work next week

[AdaRuts]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and kind words. I am doing my best to come to terms with the formula thing, but I am still not happy about it at all. To make matters worse DH and I have been arguing about it non stop. He doesn't understand why breastfeeding is such a big deal to me and keeps telling me that it could be worse and to get over it. Of course I know it could be worse. I am well aware of that and thank my lucky stars everyday that Austin is healthy and happy. That being said, it doesn't discount how frustrated I am with my body over this. First I couldn't get pregnant, then no labor, induction, epidural, now formula....... I felt like breastfeeding was the one thing that "really" mattered and now that is slipping away too. I guess he just doesn't understand what it feels like to feel like you have failed at the one job you were meant for. I really feel like my body has failed me again and I think that it brings back some of the IF feelings. Just like how "everyone" gets pregnant.... "everyone" can breastfeed successfully. I just feel like once again I have let myself and now my little man down. Add to that the feeling that I have been slowly starving my kid for the past month ... and ta-da perfect sh*t storm. My husband said I was being a miserable b*tch today and said I was making everyone else miserable with my "mopping" about the whole breastfeeding thing. I promptly told him to f*ck off and informed him that he is well aware of where the front door is and to not let it hit him on the way out. A few minutes later he came into the babies room and keep giving my hugs while I was changing Austin.... I guess he realized that he was an a**.

I'm still pissed about the whole situation.... I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel like it's just not fair. I know, even I imagine a stomping two year old as I wrote it, but it's true. We (and by "we" I mean all the ladies on here) tried so d*mn hard to have these babies and you would think that things would go a little easier. My nephew's mother is a complete waste of space, got pregnant at 13 (with him) is a total piece of trash that sees him like once every few months and I feel like a failure compared to her.... b/c she nursed him for a whole year. I know it is sick, but I can't help it. I feel like she is somehow a better mother b/c she nursed him that long and I have struggled with it every step of the way.

UGGGGGGGHHHHHH......

Em- I am so sorry you are having such a hard time with PJ. Once AJ & PJ get a little older we will have to schedule a play date somewhere in the middle of MD and IL. I really think they must be twins with all the drama they are causing their mommies. I am planning on renting the hospital pump on monday and hopefully that will make a difference.

Oh so reality check.... I should be going back to work on Monday as my 6 weeks are up. Thankfully I took 2 weeks vacation and won't go back until after labor day... but still, only 2 weeks left and I am dreading leaving him.....

Boy this is a long reply.... lol. Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone!!!

[Hopefulmommy09]

IADA. I can relate to your feeling about your body failing you again. I really feel that with my blood disorders. It just really pissed me off and have been pissed off about since. I have tried not think about it, but I can't help it. It has brought up the IF feelings that I harbor and I just can't help, but think it will just get worse for me if i decide to have another child. I finially felt comfortable with what I went through to have kids and what was wrong with me to find out that I have something worse and not just one thing but two. It was a kick in the stomach when I already was down.

I adopted my first child and used only formula. It is just what I had to do as I had no way to breast feed her. Some of my best friends have made comments that have really hurt my feelings regarding formula and it has caused a few arguments. With my little Ava I breastfeed and I supplemented with formula and I don't regret it. My body did not produce enough milk that time around. This time around I am on fenigreek and it has helped me alot. So I have done it all and I don't regret anything. Each method produces well adjusted healthy children. Please don't feel bad you are a great mother. Breastfeeding does not make you a great parent. It is a very small part of it and it is not necessary. A great mother is many other things. I am sure that every single one of us is a great mother as we prayed and tried hard for our little ones. to you.

[Roxy]

I think breastfeeding is just a lot more complicated than anyone thinks. You assume that when you have a baby you will be able to breastfeed but no one tells you how difficult it can really be. When we saw the lactation specialist she told me that my nipples were not meant for breastfeeding and that is why my daughter has put holes in them. I use a nipple guard now but still am in tremendous pain when I feed her. I have wanted to quit many times and have cried to my husband about it but he encourages me to continue since it is what is best for Leah. I think many women have difficulty with breastfeeding whether it be milk production, latching, or cracks on their nipples.


My husband goes back to work tomorrow. I am a bit nervous about what Leah and I will do without him. I have had him whenever I needed a break or wanted to take a shower. Now it is just me at home with Leah. I assume that we will make our own routine just as we had a routine with dad.

[Anavaz]

Hey Ladies,

Roxy - I know how hard the first day alone, alone is. When my DH went back I cried the whole morning. But I am used to it now. I'm dreading going back to work though, I don't know how I'll be able to go the day without Iker, lol.

AFM -
Iker is smiling all the time now. I love it, it makes my heart melt everytime I see his little face light up. We've tried to capture it with the camera and haven't been able to do it. We got one yesterday but it wasn't a full gum showing smile. I will keep trying though.

[Shlify]

Hi All,
Seems we all have been having some issues and I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been back to read all posts, but I will once things settle down. I had to stop breast feeding as well and my little girl has reflux. She has been screaming, gassy and just unhappy for the past two weeks and we went to the dr. yesterday and he said it was refulx. She's on all this medication that I hate, but seems to be doing better. I have one question about weight gain though. She was weighed 2 weeks ago and was 7lb 11 oz. In two weeks she went from that to 8lb 14 oz. Is that a lot to gain in two weeks? I think so, the dr. didn't seem so concerned. Anyone else's baby gain that or more in a short amount of time or is that normal?! Just wondering, thanks!

[historyteach]

anabel - that is awesome that Iker is smiling, and i hear you on the work thing. i am dreading it and am not sure that i will make it thru the day without crying!

roxy - i hope that things go well the first day without your DH, it is amazing how much they do help but you will be amazed by your instincts kicking in! good luck sweetie!

Em - thinking about you and i hope that things are getting better

amanda - how are things going with the formula? is he gaining more weight? i hope that you find peace with the situtation

shlify - Lyla gained 11 oz in 4 days when she was a week old, we go in today to see how things are going

i hope that you are all enjoying your little angels!! things here are going well, Lyla actually slept from 9 to 5 last night, which freaked me out so i kept waking up and checking to make sure that she was breathing. and i have to give her a nuk a lot to keep her calm, i really didn't want to use one but it keeps her so happy. other than that, i am struggling with the baby weight, i am still in maternity pants and a few shirts because i can't fit into anything and i don't want to spend the money for clothes until i go back to work, i can live in sweats for now but i am walking an hour a day and breastfeeding and nothing... anyone have any suggestions

happy tuesday