[Leah00]

When I called to make my first ob appointment they made it based on the first day of my last period. They said it was because they like to see you at 8 weeks so they can get a heartbeat... Well, I didn't ovulate until cd 28, so at my appointment I'll only be 6 weeks. Should I call them and tell them that or should I wait until the appointment and tell the dr? On one hand I'm worried that they will reschedule my appointment (and I really want to go), on the other hand I don't want them to be unprepared for a little 6 weeker.

It funny that you guys were all talking about books and I just noticed the quote by Corrie Ten Boom in Sweetpea's sig. I love her! The Hiding Place is such an amazing beautiful book. I think it should be required reading for the human race!

[mrssega]

[quote=infertilitynovice]You're not lame Eggy. I remember reading the "Clan of the Cave Bear" series when I was in 7th grade. If you're not familiar with the books, they're huge and researched based. Well I read the 4 that were available at the time and then waited 12 years for the last one to come out. TWELVE YEARS!!!!! It was worth the wait, but this author spends so long researching her topic that it took her that long to get the last one out. I highly recommend the series by the way. I love to read, and now that I'm a teacher I have the most awesome excuse to read kid's and young adult authors. There are some really great books out there that fall into this age group.


Love Jean Auel Clan of The Cave Bear Series. I did the exact same thing. LOL. You just brought back all types of memories. Thanks.

[eggy]

My husband's family is all excited because his younger brother's wife just announced that she is pregnant with their third child (in less than three years). Apparently, she's six weeks along. What they don't know is that I'm pregnant, too -- and seven weeks along.

Among other things, I feel like they're probably pitying poor old me (they view me as old because I'm about to turn 33 and still don't have kids -- but of course, where I'm from, that's normal). But that doesn't mean I want to change my plans and tell them just yet.

We want to wait to tell his parents when they come to visit us in May (when I'll be about 14 weeks and more comfortable sharing the news publicly); they didn't know we were struggling with IF, and we don't plan to tell them, ever.

What is most annoying to me is that our two due dates would be three days apart. While I am happy for SIL and the family, I am kind of bummed that I don't get to have my moment. Is that really horrible and selfish?

[infertilitynovice]

Sega ~ wonderful to know there's someone out there who loves these books too. I've been thinking recently about rereading them...they are soooo good!

Eggy ~ No, I don't think your feelings on this are horrible at all. I think that we get so few opportunities to have our "moments" in life, that we should capitalize when we do. Obviously, SIL and BIL didn't do this on purpose, so you can't really fault them, but it is unfortunate timing. I really think that everyone will be so happy that you two are having a child that it will probaby overshadow their new addition. And, you should remember that babies really have their own timing. Hers could come earlier b/c her body knows how to do this. Yours could come quite late. Frist babies are usually late. You'll have your moment!

[hopefull79]

Congrats Daney!!!!

[infertilitynovice]

Steph ~ I meant to say yesterday that the message about Paris Hilton's brain cells on your ticker is hilarious!!


Long soapbox-anti-lax-parenting rant to follow...

So, I'm on stepmom strike today...I don't know if any of you read my post asking "What kind of parent are you?" or not, but if you did, you should have a pretty clear understanding about what kind of parent I am. I am ruled by one question, "What kind of person do I want this child to be?"...everything I do comes from the answers to that question. So many of us have waited so long to have children, so it is not surprising that you may want to give that child EVERYTHING...let me tell you from someone who sees it from years down the road when they aren't your sweet, cute little girl or boy anymore, DON'T!!!! Children are self-centered, egotistical little greedy creaters...this may sound horrible and negative, but it isn't. They HAVE to be in order to survive. The world HAS to revolve around the needs of the infant and/or pre-speaking toddler. Otherwise, how will they get what they need? They cry for attention to get food, to be changed, or to show you they don't feel good...it has to be this way at first, the problem comes when lax parents allow older children to behave this way for things they want. When they have words, they should learn to use them, and this is the time they they start learning other life lessons too. You don't accidentally learn to be compassionate, responsible, honest, self-reliable, or any of the positive qualities you want your child to have. It is the job of the parent to teach their children that, and BUYING them isn't how it is done! Do you think that it is an accident that "Supernanny" exists today? No, she's there to correct years of bad parenting. When you just give in and give in, you are being a lazy parent (a bad parent even if you mean well), because it is SOOOO much harder to say "no", but hey, that's life people! Sometimes you don't get what you want and sometimes you do. Okay, so my DSS (10) decided last night that he didn't want to take his shower at 8. He ALWAYS takes a shower at 8. Well, standing there arguing with him, or trying to convince him why he needs to do it is a waste of breath. Sure remind him once why, but then, explain in a calm voice what consequence he will be choosing if he doesn't do it and start counting! It cuts the drama down quite a bit. Otherwise, my DH would be up there for 30 minutes trying to convince him to get in the shower, and by then it is cutting in reading time. Well, all of a suddent he decides that it is okay to yell at me and give me a bunch of attitude...oh, yeah, with a lovely "You're not my mother!" too. Yes, I know! I am LIKE a mother to him, not his mother (I wouldn't want to be that horrid woman anyways...druggie degenerate B***h). He hurt his leg at school yesterday and had to come home. I spent all day "mothering" him. Running up and down the stairs, bringing him drinks, ice, meds, food. I made chocolate milk just to make him smile. You know, little things that a mother does for a child. Then he gets to turn around b/c he's being made to do what is best for him and scream and yell at me? I DON'T THINK SO!!!! So, I'm on strike. I didn't get to the store yesterday b/c he hurt himself. We're out of his favorite cereal. I had planned to make eggs and toast this morning, well, I didn't. I'm just a lowly stepmom that can be talked to anyway, it isn't MY job to do things a mother would do right? He chose not to eat any of the other types of cereal, so he didn't eat breakfast this morning. I also didn't make his lunch. I told him to make it himself. Just so you know, if he was much younger I would have made lunch for him. He's 10 and perfectly capable of doing it himself. His dad, from over the phone at work, told him to make his lunch. He did and I gave him an extra bag of chips to eat on the bus. Not perfect, but one morning of a breakfast of a bag of chips isn't going to kill him. Some of you may being thinking I'm just really terrible right now. Let me assure you, I am not. I have been a stable part of this boy's life since he was 4 (8 for the older one) He's lived with us full-time for 3 years. I've been a mother to him almost everyday of the year for the past 3 yrs, yet I'm treated no better than a maid, chauffer, or tutor. Their horrible mother gets visitation during holiday's and school breaks. It is not easy for a dad to get custody of his children, esp one that isn't his biochild (long story too). When she had them fulltime, she would throw parties in the house with drugs and alcohol. The boys would wake up in the morning with no food in the house and strange people passed out all over the place. When the oldest DSS was 12, she did whippets with him. Know what those are? When you "huff" nitrous oxide and feel really lightheaded and could possible get knocked out from lack of oxygen. Seriously, I'm not make this stuff up. This is the monster these boys worship. Of course, she's much worse than this even. They don't really know how things are, which just makes our job that much harder. So, I'm on strike until the youngest DSS apologizes to me. I will be going to the store today and buying the cereal he likes, I just wasn't going to go out of the way to make a special breakfast for him. There is sooooo much more to this story, but I'm pretty sure I've explained enough for now. I do love both of these boys very, very much, but everybody in their lives makes how they behave okay b/c they feel sorry for them. You know what? That's not going to teach them how to be men! I have tried so many other ways to make my point over the years, but drastic times, call for drastic measures. And let me say, for those of you who feel the urge to say something like, "Being a step-parent is just like being a parent, your kids will say mean things to you too"...I know that already and the ONLY thing being a step-parent and a parent have in common is the word "parent"...I don't get any of the love, affection, warm hugs, happy-to-see-you-smiles, that parents get on good days, yet I do all the same jobs...being a step-parent sucks, because you love someone who doesn't love you back. At least, this is how it is for me.

Whoa, I feel better now! I think I'll go take a shower and head to the store now. I'm not usually this negative, I'm just really hurt and tired of this role. I'll be fine soon

[mrssega]

Originally Posted by eggy

Um, yes, it was part of the Paley Festival here in LA. It was a panel discussion with Joss Whedon, some of the other writers, and most of the cast. It was really geeky, but kind of fun.

NOTHING is geeky about BUFFY!!!! LOL. I miss that series. Sonia

[mrssega]

Originally Posted by tamarie

Yes, it was our first U/S. Apparently my RE doesn't like to get too attached. He did 2 beta's then waited until after 7 weeks to do an ultrasound and he's already sending me off to the OB.

Mine does the same thing. x2 Betas and one u/s at 7 weeks. I see so many Drs doing different things.

[mrssega]

You will get your moment. This is her third in x3 years. She knows what she is doing and it is old news with her. You are the new and unknown, and everyone will be excited for you.

[eggy]

The fact that SIL's baby will probably arrive days before mine is what is bothering me....

[chantalTTC]

Originally Posted by eggy

While I am happy for SIL and the family, I am kind of bummed that I don't get to have my moment. Is that really horrible and selfish?

Not horrible at all... I have a similiar situation. My cousin's wife is pregnant and 2 weeks ahead of me. Our immediate family already knows about both of our pregnancies, since they knew we were both struggling with IF (she has severe endo, multiple m/c's and did medicated IUIs for her first child and this one). Half of me secretly wishes I were the center of attention since she and her little girl have been for the past 3 years...the other half of me enjoys going through this together as she totally understands my paranoia. And, frankly, her pregnancy deflects some of my mom's well-intentioned, though completely over-the-top enthusiasm for my pregnancy... So I share some of your emotions! My cousin's wife was very sweet to say that this is her 2nd and our 1st, so the family needs to focus more on us, to make it special for us, etc. I thought that was very compassionate, and much appreciated.

[eggy]

I can't imagine my SIL being as sensitive to the issue as your cousin's wife. Frankly, I think SIL is just too overwhelmed by the steady stream of babies to think about anything like that. And since they don't know about my IF....

Meanwhile, my MIL was pressing me last night about what my fertility situation is, which makes me massively uncomfortable. I deflected by cheerfully saying we're perfectly healthy, so I don't anticipate a problem, it will be what it will be, no rush. I also threw in a couple of comments about my husband not being ready for kids yet and our wanting to go on vacation this summer. Anything to get a little breathing room for myself. Then, if and when we make the announcement, I can coyly play it off as trying to get her off the scent so she could be even more surprised. It's all so annoying.

I guess I'm just really, really hormonal right now. I kind of feel for BIL and SIL, though, because my MIL is already making little comments about how it's so soon for another kid and how difficult it is going to be for them logistically and financially. No one gets a break, I suppose.

[jochica]

Hi,
Have been reading all your posts for a few weeks, but too scared to post until today! We saw a heartbeat and "bean-baby" measured 5.4mm on the u/s which was A-mazing and now it feels real.
As for telling people, we don't want to until further along - it's nice to have our little secret for the time being and life is a bit hectic as I got a new job last week and we're moving house in a fortnight!!! No rest for the wicked.
All of the questions, msgs and rants have cheered me up during this stressful time, cheers
Jo

[chantalTTC]

Hi ladies - back from our u/s. Each one is more and more amazing! There's a much bigger blob in the circle than last week... It's measuring 7w1d exactly and the h/b was 156 bpm - nice and healthy! We even got to hear the h/b this time - that was sooo trippy. My dh recorded it on his phone and played it back for all the nurses - he was so cute...already the proud papa! I still cannot get my head around the fact that it's INSIDE ME... It's totally surreal. Anyone else having trouble believing it actually worked??

[infertilitynovice]

Welcome Jo!!! So glad that you decided to join us. How exciting to see your little bean! I'll get my first look this Friday (CANNOT WAIT!!!!). Sorry that you're having to worry about moving right now. I guess if you've got to, at least it is during this early part and not when you're huge with a full babybelly

Kristen ~ I'm totally with you. I was showing DH last night what our little alien (the little babybeans are quite strange looking so early) looks like at this stage, and it just hit me (again...happens a lot), this will be my child very soon, and I've been chosen to bring this new person into the world. It is the most amazing idea! I cannot wait to meet her/him! I get all choaked up just thinking about it. That's why I've started a pregnancy journal to the baby. I will be so busy raising this little one soon, that I'll forget what all of this was like. It is SOOOO cool!