[Persephone1881]

We're not take an antenatal class.. in fact, I've never heard of them, at least not under that name. But I think I'm going to stay with my parents for a week or so after the baby is born since I have no idea how to take care of a baby. The only class we're currently set to take is a prepared childbirth class in September. We might take an infant CPR course. DH works with a guy who is certified to teach them and he might be able to get him to do a class for us. The ones here offered by the Red Cross are only on Saturdays from like 10am til 5pm and DH wouldn't be able to attend as he has to be at work at 2pm.

Would you believe that DH actually told me I couldn't order new clothes today!?! I found a few maternity pieces at Old Navy that I wanted to get and asked if I could buy them (I rarely do this as he has no idea what our finances are like on any given day) and he said no, that I had a bunch of clothes already. Um, hello? I'm pregnant and they're not going to fit soon! I pointed that out and he said "oh.. right." What a putz

[wannabigbabybelly]

Jenny-

With most of the babies we have fostered over the years I would just let them set their own schedule.

But with some babies who are underweight or have feeding/tummy issues we've had to make sure they ate smaller amounts more often even if that meant we had to wake them.

I'm so glad to hear you finally had some real success with the doppler. My little one has been starting to act up lately as well. As soon as I find it with the doppler it moves to a new spot. So I know what you mean about chasing the baby all over your tummy. I did the same thing last night.



Andy-

Most new parents will learn by trial and error (we all do) but I'm sure as long as you offer support/advice in a friendly way you won't come across as trying to tell them how to parent and they'll get some good tips, liek they did last night.

The white eyelet bedding set sounds beautiful and very feminine. I hope you win it.


I've always done very "girly" things with all my girls. But last year we re-decorated the girls room and finally got rid of the pepto bismo pink walls and Disney princess everything...lol...and gave them a more country garden look, painting the walls a nice green color and the bedding I made had lots of pink/white and yellow/white flowers with a pretty green background.

I've gone more nuetral with my baby choices this time as well. Favoring the " Eddie Bauer-teddy bear" theme which is basically white/tan and brown and the car seat I bought is brown/green so I guess I've stepped away from the really Girly-girl stuff these days.

But the white eyelet sounds so simple and beautiful. Kinda makes me wish I had waited to buy the bedding until I found out the sex.

But if we're having a girl, I'll definately get some really pretty girly'girl clothes and dresses for her.

I started off this pregnancy not really knowing or caring one way or another wether it's a boy or girl. Then I started thinking it's a girl but now, I don't know. I would really love for it to be a boy and I always call it "he" instead of "she" so maybe that's a sign.

As much as I'm dying to know right now, I'm also struggling wishing I could have the strength to just wait and see at the birth.

I guess I have another 3-4 weeks to decide for sure. since my Dr. won't do the anatomy scan until I'm 20 weeks..or any more scans in general until then.

[wannabigbabybelly]

Silly girl....next time don't ask!!! DUH lol

No I'm just playing.

I've kinda learned by now that I get what I want, when I want (which really is not often and I'm very thrifty anyways...when it comes to buying for myself) and just tell DH about it later.

[Persephone1881]

It makes sense that you might have to wake a baby who has special circumstances and absolutely needs to eat every 4 fours or whatever the pediatrician says. The article, however, (and what I was thinking) was in reference to typical babies who have no problems or special needs.

Normally I don't ask to buy things like clothes and stuff. But since, as I mentioned before, I'm not a girly-girl, I really don't like shopping all that much so its not like I buy new clothes every weekened or anything like that. Usually I just buy a few things at a time and just don't mention it. Sometimes DH notices that I'm wearing something new, sometimes not. Besides, I know what we can afford better than he does so there's no point asking anyway

I had a dream the other night that we found out we were having a boy, though I had convinced myself (in the dream) that it was a girl. I'm thinking more and more of the baby as "she" than I was before, though I still think it's a boy.

[rebecca0130]

Andy, the best guides for me when we came home with our son were books and other moms. I love the Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and the What to Expect the First Year. The What to Expect book for the first year is much better than the What to Expect when your expecting version.

So see, I would have loved a mom like you to talk with Besides if you take the class you may come away with some good info, but you really never know what you are going to need until you are stuck with a dilemma and then you need someone to ask or a book to go to

Anyway, it is such a joy and wonderful burden to figure it all out.

[andyhaefner3]

I agree and they are absolutely loving it despite muddling through.
Babies are so resilient anyway and she will be fine.
An antenatal class is like a childbirth,feeding,bathing,and general looking after baby class.Most woman do them here and make lots of friends that way.I did one with my 1st and although I didnt enjoy it I did meet lots of other moms due the same time as me and we got together once a week with our babies to chill.
We won the bid so now my bedding is being shipped all the way from Florida down to South Africa.May take a while!!!

[wannabigbabybelly]

I am so upset right now .

I just got back from an OB appointment. They went over my labs from last time and said everything came back normal except one showed that I have been exposed to the genital herpes virus.

I'm not sure exactly what that means but I assume it means that I have it and will now carry the virus for the rest of my life.

I have never had any outbreaks of anything down there, I've never even had a yeast infection.

I'm sure I've been tested for all those STD's (including genital herpes) over the years with feritlity treatments, pap smears, and labs they have run for fostering/adoption physical. I've never had anything come back positive and both my husband and I have never been with anyone but each other and we've been married for almost 10 years now...with no problems).

The only and most obvious source of being exposed to it was from two little foster girls we had for a couple months this last winter.

I always ask what medical problems the children have before I accept them. (but I'm used to DHS not telling you everything about the child out of fear you won't accept them...I've learned this many times over the years). they had already been in fostercare for over a year with some other families.

Well a couple weeks after we had them the social worker came to our house for a visit and accidently informed us that the older girl (3yrs old) had been sexually/physically abused badly, even had suffered from a broken femur. From the sexual abuse she also had really bad Genital Herpes. It was so bad they had to laser off many of the warts as well.

I was so furious to hear this. Why had they not shared this information with me when they called with her placement a couple weeks before? The social worker was just as suprised as me that they did not share this information with me. She said not to worry though. While she will always have genital herpes it's only contagious during an outbreak and only through sexual contact. She said the younger sister (2 yrs old) had not experienced the abuse and she didn't have the virus (though she did have some bumps when she came to us..I assumed it was diaper rash/yeast infection and treated it as such...but looking back maybe she did have it and she was having an outbreak?).

More than I was upset that they had not shared with me this information (and I felt therby put my family at risk by not letting us make an informed decision of wether we'd want to take her and have our family exposed to that) I was upset for her. How could anyone do that to this precious girl. Both girls were legally up for adoption and we had hoped we could keep them until an adoptive family could be found, we didn't want them to have to experience any more disruptions they were so precious and had already been throguh so much. (now, more so than we had already imagined).

I was nervous about keeping them once we were told, knowing that I'd be the one carrying for her, helping to bath her, put lotion/vaseline on her everyday (she was AA and her skin was dry)and help her with her toileting. Plus we were all sharing the same bathroom. The social worker assured me that it's not that easy to catch and that it was only transmitable through sexual contact during a time she was having an outbreak and she wasn't having one.

So even though I was upset and kinda scared about it we decided to keep them until they could be placed with their adoptive family which was supposed to be very soon)...I figured they had already been with us for a couple weeks and if we were going to be exposed we probably already were by then...but the adoptive family fell through and we ended up having them for about 2-3 months before they moved with with their foster/adopt family.

Anyways, now I get this news and I'm FURIOUS with DHS. I'm upset with myself for keeping them and believing that it's only transmitable through sexual contact(and only when there's sores)...obviosuly that's not the case.

My OB was saying that I'll have to keep an eye out for symptoms (and some woman have none...or very mild like a little bit of itching).He said if I notice any symptoms or blisters within a month of delivery than I'll have to have a c-section because the baby could get a very serious infection, with blisters over it's entire body and could even die. WHAT

I asked him ...since I don't have any symptoms or haven't noticed anything yet, would they know what to look for at the time of delivery just to make sure everything was safe and basically he just put it back on me...that I'll have to let them know if I have any symptoms or sores...UUUUHHHHGGG!!!But what if I have no symptoms but it's still there?

I really wanted a vaginal delivery. I wanted to experience giving birth ....not just being cut open. What if it's not even an option? (I mean I was prepared for worst case scenerio...emergency c-section). But not like this...over something like this that I shouldn't even have in the first place.

I did look it up on the computer and it looks like it's contagious through the mouth (maybe sharing drinks...i don't remember doing that but it may be possible etc...not sure about quick good night kisses on the lips?) and skin to skin contact (not sure how much contact is required...but I was changing diapers, applying meds....maybe I didn't wash my hands good enough or maybe forgot to after changing a diaper? who knows...but it does sound a lot more transimittable than the socail worker led me on to believe. (especially when your working with small children).

Now I'm worried about my husband and kids as well. Wondering if I should have them tested to see if they have been exposed as well.

WHY??? WHY??? WHY???

(I've also just read that it can be in your birth canal...but the good news is I read they can do a swipe for it and test in the weeks leading up to the birth...to make sure it's all clear down there...I wonder why my OB didn't reassure me of that???)

[wannabigbabybelly]

Plus, I haven't even told my husband yet. I know he's going to be so upset. Not with me...but with DHS.

It sucks when your trying to do the right thing...and you get stuck with something like this...something I never though could even to happen to us....I mean it's not like we have these crazy lifestyles where we are out sleeping with a bunch of people, doing all kinds of drugs etc.

No...instead were taking care of other people's children (who are doing these things) and look what we get for it.

Don't get me wrong...I loved fostering and will probably do it again someday when our kids are all grown. We even got our 4 beautiful children because of it...we just didn't expect to get this as well. It's not fair.

And it's not fair that, that poor little girl got it as well and will have to live with it for the rest of her life.

[rebecca0130]

Jess, none of it is fair, but I would get a second opinion on your specific case and don't get too upset now - it all might turn out OK. There are ways to get around most everything and your Dr. may need to get creative with you so you can deliver vaginally.
I am sorry. But keep positive.
but get a 2nd opinion.

[andyhaefner3]

Oh dear!!!!!!!!!!I agree with rebecca...definitely get a second opinion.There must be something that can be done....and having said that....it doesnt matter which way you deliver as long as the goods come out perfect.....
Maybe get everyone tested??

[Persephone1881]

I am so sorry about what you're going through Jessica. As if you haven't had to deal with enough already. I know it's a huge shock to suddenly be diagnosed with an STD, but apparently the pap test is frequently being improved and things that never showed up before are showing up now. I had a similar thing happen to me a couple years ago, only with HPV, which fortunately is curable. I would also get a 2nd opinion if you can.. your current OB doesn't seem to be as helpful as he could in this situation. I know you've said before that you really like him, but I would still consider talking to someone else.

[Persephone1881]

Is having been exposed to it the same as actually having it? Maybe you don't actually have it, just some antibodies due to being around the little girl. Maybe that's why it showed up on your bloodwork and not a pap test. I really hope that's the case and you won't have to worry about it as much.

[wannabigbabybelly]

I think I have some form of indigestion.

I'm used to getting that tightness in my chest followed by burps but eventually it goes away.

Well, now I have something else (but I'm sure it's related).It started Wednesday evening with that same tightness in my chest. The tightness/pain lightened up some but it never went away. Then I started getting more symptoms that have also been constant. From my throat to my chest I feel this constant fullness and I also feel this lump in my throat. Like I have food stuck in there.

I just put a call into my OB since the symptoms are persistant and not going away.

I can eat and drink and swallow and breath just fine(other than that feeling of a lump in my throat). But after I eat or drink anything I get more uncomfortable and the fullness and lump in my throat increase.

I'm still waiting for the nurse to call back I'm just wondering if anyone has had this or heard of it and how they got rid of it.

I was tempted to just not eat anything and only have fluids today and see if it gets better and clears it out...but even with that I just don't see it going away on it's own....seeing that I have it all night long after not eating or drinking anything as well.

[wannabigbabybelly]

Well, the nurse agreed it sounds like indigestion that has upset my esophagus so she sent me out to get some pepcid AC and some Mallox (I took it about 45 minutes ago and unfortunately it's not even phasing it yet).

She also said I might be trying to come down with the stomach bug that's been going around. (My youngest son has had vomiting/diahrea for the last 2 days) when I told her that she said, well than you've definately been exposed to it as well and your probably going to get it.....uhg

She also called in a nausea/vomiting medicine to the pharmacy in case I start vomiting over the weekend...

NOT FUN!!! PLEASE LET IT JUST BE INDIGESTION

BTW- I also talked to my husband yesterday and he took the news better than I thought he would. I did a lot more research and although some of the pictures look NASTY/painful...it sounds like it's a very common thing...they say 1 in 5 people have it (that's a lot). I also read that 85% of people have been exposed to one of the forms of the virus (oral)and another 35%(or something like that) have been exposed to the (genital) form. It also said that in many cases kids get the oral form as children and it can later turn into the genital form (wierd...but I guess they are connected/related somehow). If you are exposed to it that you HAVE IT...it can be latent and you may show no signs for years or you can have it constantly. So I guess it's not the end of the world. Life will go on. It can be dangerous for the baby (in worse case scenerio) but it's very rare. I WILL make them do a swab down there in the weeks leading up to the birth and probably right before the birth just to make sure it's all safe. But I'm sure it will all be ok. If that many people have it...and in most cases have healthy vaginal births than I'm sure I'll be fine as well.