[Soki]

If you are in your first few months of trying to conceive (TTC) odds are you've gotten your hands on some books and had your fill of advise from your mother in law about TTC. Most doctors say there is an infertility problem (depending on age) if conception has not taken place within a year. Is that discouraging or encouraging to you to be neither infertile nor pregnat?

What is the best/worst advise or encouragement you've gotten?

[TMorris]

It's not exactly 'advice' but the best thing that ever happened to me in my struggle years ago was when a co-worker (with whom I never got along, curiously!) handed me an article that was in a 1995 issue of Atlantic Monthly. This was way before infertility was a common topic in the general media, and I, probably like most people, thought that infertility was some sort of foreign condition that only happened to somebody 'out there' somewhere. lol It was a LONG article that took me quite some time to read, and I wondered the whole time WHY I was reading it, until I got to the one thing that caught my eye -- the published comments on the fact that docs were starting to see "much older" women come in to their office wanting to get pregnant after having a long career. That was me. I was, at the time, 34 and had been TTC for a year. I didn't feel old in any way, so never gave it a thought.

If that co-worker had not given me that article, and if the sources interviewed had not come right out and said that some women are just getting too old to conceive naturally after their 15-year careers, I probably would've spun my wheels for years TTC'ing without assistance.

And my son may not be here after all. ;-)

[mpheis]

We have only been ttc for 9 months. I say "only" because I know that their are peolpe out there that have tried for a lot longer and that may be us as well. However the "only" already feels like an eternity when I see others around me trying for less time and already months pregnant. With my 1st pg we only had to try 3 mths. Seems like a dream now!! Anyhow, we have been "doctoring" and checking to see if there are any major problems. All the tests are coming back flawless-no apparent problems. You think this would be a relief, but it has the opposite effect on me. At least if something was wrong, we could try to fix it. Now I am just confused, frustrated and scared. Anyone else in the same boat?

[tracieluke]

yes i am, except i have no children, my husband has a 3 year old son so doctors say odds are that he isn't the problem, the only thing so far ive tried is blood work that has come out fine,, im goin to the doctor in the next couple of weeks for ultrasounds and more blood work, then im not sure what to do after that, its been over 9 months,, it actually been 15 months but i stopped having a cycle for a couple of months and thought i was pregnant, but i wasnt, so i had to get on medicine to make my cycle start again, i still dont know why it stopped,, i have no health problems like cyst or endometriosis, i have always been regular,, its just upsetting, and the other day one of our friends told me it took her a week to get pregnant, dont you hate that!! lol

[Laura1490]

My husband and I are both 23 and have been trying to conceive for five months. The doctors are very encouraging... especially to my husband who constantly gets told that his guys are great! haha! The probelm is I have PCOS, and I need to go to the doctor to get regulated on my period.

I have to say I do not get much advice from any of my family or friends. THe ones I do tell about the problems we are having just say, oh you are sooo young... you have so much time! But I feel like I should have a child by now.

I just pray and hope as much as I can and put my faith in God that one day I will have the children I am supposed to have!