[nicolajane]

Kitty, so sorry you are going through all of this. I think we posted at the same time yesterday. I wish you had better news at todays beta but will continue praying that everything works out well for you.

[angie056]

Originally Posted by kittykat

Hi ladies,

Beta went up from 1275 to 2266. In almost one week (6 days), so clearly, not good. Yet still rising enough to drive me crazy.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I have read stories where this kind of thing happens and miracles happen. Will I get a miracle? Am I just kidding myself?

My faith has been so tested this year. I really don't know where to turn at this point. Last week, I did really well trying to be positive and hope for my miracle. While the game isn't over yet, I'm getting my a$$ kicked. IF: 5 Kitty: 0

Thanks for listening. I know you all know how difficult this is. I spent the whole day working (and night entertaining people) with a fake smile on my face...almost out of body...and now that I'm home, doing my PIO shots and popping estrogen like it's Pez, the awfulness of the situation is really setting in.

Tomorrow's another day...I will continue to pray for all of us. God, please...please help!

Oh kitty this is craziness. I am praying that this is one of those miracles that DO happen.

[Leslie0909]

Kitty~ I am really hoping the rise was a great thing. I am still praying for you. Do you know what your next step is? I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

[Jen403]

Kitty- I know what you mean with saying that your faith has been tested this year, me too. It's so hard to stay positive all the time and wear that fake smile, I know , I do it also. Just remember that you aren't alone in this, there are others who feel your pain and are right along side you. You are in my prayers and I do hope that your miracle comes your way, if not now, then soon.

[kittykat]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Please do keep praying for me as I will for all of you.

I found a website which is making me feel better:

The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage Site

Also, I finally shared my story with another friend who told me she was experiencing deja vu. With her second pregnancy, she experienced the same thing I am: low, slow rising numbers, seeing only a sac when the doctor felt that they should be seeing more. 3 out of the 4 doctors in her practice recommended a D&C. One, older doctor said, "Just wait...let nature work it out." She did, and on Sunday we're celebrating her 2 year old's birthday.

Stories like this give me hope.

I had my good cry when I got home yesterday, but I am staying positive. There's nothing I can do now but hope. I'm taking it one day at a time instead of worrying about how to get pregnant next.

Also, I got wonderful news that a family member also suffering IF who lost her beautiful son due to complications at delivery after trying to get pregnant for years, is now pregnant. This really lifted my spirits because I want this so badly for her.

I hope you are all doing well. My next step is another u/s on Monday. If no development, the doc wants to do a D&C on Wednesday. I will not do it. I want to wait one more week (if only because I have a crazy work week next week and can't take the time) before I decide to do anything. If this is going to end, I want God to do it, not my jerky doctor.

Thank you again and enjoy the weekend! Keep me posted on your progress!!!

[Godiva4me]

Kitty- That site you found is full of great info. I was glad I found it when I was having my SCH in the spring and unfortunate m/c later. It sounds like you have a very good POA. I will be praying that your u/s goes well on Monday and be watching for your update!
Stephanie

[Kay]

kitty- I think you are making a very wise decision about waiting it out. I know that is hard, but in the long run you will know you gave this baby every chance. I pray that you will be greatly rewarded just like the story you shared. I am ing for you and your lil bean. I love your spirit!!
Kay

[yrdl22]

Originally Posted by kittykat

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Please do keep praying for me as I will for all of you.

I found a website which is making me feel better:

The Misdiagnosed Miscarriage Site

Also, I finally shared my story with another friend who told me she was experiencing deja vu. With her second pregnancy, she experienced the same thing I am: low, slow rising numbers, seeing only a sac when the doctor felt that they should be seeing more. 3 out of the 4 doctors in her practice recommended a D&C. One, older doctor said, "Just wait...let nature work it out." She did, and on Sunday we're celebrating her 2 year old's birthday.

Stories like this give me hope.

I had my good cry when I got home yesterday, but I am staying positive. There's nothing I can do now but hope. I'm taking it one day at a time instead of worrying about how to get pregnant next.

Also, I got wonderful news that a family member also suffering IF who lost her beautiful son due to complications at delivery after trying to get pregnant for years, is now pregnant. This really lifted my spirits because I want this so badly for her.

I hope you are all doing well. My next step is another u/s on Monday. If no development, the doc wants to do a D&C on Wednesday. I will not do it. I want to wait one more week (if only because I have a crazy work week next week and can't take the time) before I decide to do anything. If this is going to end, I want God to do it, not my jerky doctor.

Thank you again and enjoy the weekend! Keep me posted on your progress!!!

Kitty,

I'm not sure what's worse...to get an or to go through what you are experiencing. I am so sorry. I had no idea this was even something that could happen. Do you know what are the risks for doing what that older doctor said and just letting nature take its course? I mean, why a D & C?? Of course, you don't wan to do anything that will hurt your health if the child won't survive, but how do they even know?? I'm sorry for all my questions. I truly believe the body is a marvelous thing and we were all created in the image of God, therefore, we are miracles in the making and I you have a miracle.

Many ,

Yesi

[michaelajt73]

Kitty
I think you are right to wait.... nothing to say that if nature does not work correctly you cant have a D&C later...
after reading what you have I dont think you would ever stop wondering if you should have given it more time
My thoughts are with you and I hope your dreams come true

[gingerj]

Kitty-
Sorry you are going through this. Remember you are not alone; wait it out, we are all praying for you!

ginger

[Peabody1]

Kitty, I am sorry for everything you are going through. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM, I am so very sorry that I have been MIA. This pregnancy thing has caused me to have an enormous amount of anxiety and worry and the only thing that seems to have worked for me is to remain off of the computer and to avoid google at all costs. Things have been going well for me and the pregnancy other than the non-stop worrying. I am hoping that once I take some time off I will be ok or perhaps once I make it to the 2nd trimester things will start to mellow out with me a little. I'll be 9 weeks this week so I'm getting there. Thank you all for your support and understanding. I feel like I have abandoned you all in some way, but I hope you understand.

Tonya

[kittykat]

Had my u/s today. There is still no development...just a sac.

The RE said there is 100% no hope that there will be any growth so I am stopping my estrogen and PIO as of now. I have opted to let nature take it's course. If things don't kick in, I'll go back next week and think about a D&C or pills. Hopefully, this won't take too long and I'll be able to close this very long, yet interesting, chapter.

I haven't figured out yet if it was worth it to get a BFP and then have it end this way, or if getting the BFN was better. I'll let you know...it really was a joy to POAS (POA million S) and get that positive.

I wish you all well in your future plans and congrats to all the s on this board! For all the s, we fought the good fight and our time will come. I have to believe that. God knows, we deserve it!

I will be back...when, I don't know. We may try to get in another IUI in December (it's all I can afford before my insurance changes in January) and then in the new year, we'll move on.

AFM: I'm going to share that bottle of champagne we got for our anniversary with my DH. We're going to light a fire and toast our little trooper. Then, it's diet time! I'm going to rid myself of that 15 lbs. (YIKES) that I gained during this entire IVF timeframe.

Thank you all so much for everything! I know that we'll all have beautiful babies to take home one day.

I'll check in on all of you soon!

xoxo,
Kitty

[inwoman]

Kitty- It sounds like a good plan. I am sorry you are having to go through all of this, and I can say that... as many have said to me... and it's not empty... but sometimes, it just doesn't help.
Positive out-takes of this. Last time you had a chemical, now a blighted ovum... NEXT TIME, you will have a take home baby. I think we all have a route we have to go through to get there!!!
Good Luck!
Tiffany

[Godiva4me]

Kitty- I am so sorry for your news. I think I told you before that I did have a natural m/c in the spring. It really wasn't awful, for me anyway, I was expecting things to be alot worse. It took about 5 days after stopping meds for me to start the process, but each person is different.
If you have any questions, although my circumstances were different, I'd be happy to try to answer any questions you may have. Feel free to PM me!
Thinking of you at this difficult time, enjoy your champagne and time for you and your DH to just enjoy yourselves.

[Godiva4me]

Tonya- It's good to see you.... please KUP when you are up to it, even though I didn't even get to do my FET, I still like to keep up with everyone.

I don't think the worrying will ever end, but if you think yours is more intense or all consuming, you may want to talk to your doctor. They do have some meds that are safe to use during pregnancy that can help alleviate your anxieties. Take care and pop in when you feel up to it!

Wishing you continued smooth sailing!