[Disneybaby05]

Kari, I'm very sorry for your news. You're in my thoughts.

Carina- sending +++ vibes your way for tomorrow!

Gina- don't let today's test get you discouraged...it is way too early!

[vermontgirl]

Kari - I am so sorry. I totally know how you feel. My heart is with you.

Crista

[carina]

Kari,
I am so sorry. This is so much to go through with out getting the outcome we want. I think that we who have been through IVF & FET are the only ones who can truly understand the frustration & disappointment. I know that not even my DH understood how sad I felt when I was diagnosed with an ectopic after receiving a bfp with our 1st IVF cycle because if he had he would have come home early from work when I called him with the news. My Dr. told me while I was at the office & I ran out of there crying, went home, called him & spent the rest of the day in bed crying. My sister was the only person who hadn't gone through it that seemed to understand & I think that was just because she is my sister & therefore knew how much I wanted it & what an emotional pisces I can be to begin with. I guess what I am trying to say is that its ok to be sad - really sad while still remaining hopeful that next month will be your month.... And its never too early in the day for drinking when you've been through as much as we have!

I feel like I could cry all the way to the clinic too, but not because I am so sure that they did or didn't take. Maybe just because I am so unsure, if that makes any sense? I feel like I knew when I was pregnant with my DD & that was what lead me to test at home two days before the RE's. I continue to be surprised by the amount of sleep I have lost over this cycle. I was certain that I would be OK because I already have one child, but without a career outside of the home, this time I have hours to ponder the outcome while having everything invested both finacially & emotionally since I have made motherhood my career. And as lucky as I know I am to have her as a women with 3 siblings its difficult to imagine life as an only child. My father in law is an only child & while he is an amazing person in so many ways he is a bit of a soloist. Thinking nothing of uprooting his family & moving to another country when my DH was 12 & now since the lose of my mother in law 5 years ago he has been spending 1/2 the year with his brazilian girlfriend in brazil, 1/4 of the year globe trotting & the small 1/4 left is spent with his kids & grand kids. I can't help but wonder?

Good luck to all of us!

[carina]

Gina,
You are crazy girl! Its way too early. And your right if it was time you would be at the RE's office. I don't think that they enjoy torturing us ... Everything is for a reason. And the only reason that mine decided to test early is because I have been on a Tues/Fri schedule all along, so what the hell I had to come in on Fri anyway lets give it a shot?? I am just hoping he doesn't say 'ah, maybe it was too early. continue your shots & will try again on Mon', because I will know he's just staying optomistic & nothing is coming between me and a bottle of wine at that point!

Hang in there lady! It feels like an eternity, but its only a few more days

Good luck to all of us!

[mom2davis]

Yes, I know way too early. The box doesn't even say that you can yet. I think I needed to see a neg just to give myself some peace.

Carina- I'm an only child, and I turned out fine. Okay maybe this month isn't this best time to say I'm fine, usually I'm pretty sane. I enjoy having attention and yes I was totally spoiled. When people tell me , "you have to have another" I do get offended. Not just becasue I'm an only, but I wish it were that easy. If sex is all it took to get, I'd be the little old lady in the shoe. Good luck!!!

Disney- Hope school goes well. My second graders have been great.

Pixxi- How are things going?

Are we all a little crazy or what- we're quite a bunch?

[carina]

Gina,
I hope I didn't offend you. I wasn't trying to say that my FIL is not a lovely person. I just enjoy my relationships with my sisters & little brother so much. There is nothing in the world like it. And now thats not to say that you should feel bad about that either! I'm really NOT trying to add to the list here... I have had clients who parent only children & have met only children who have told me some of the great many benefits to having one or being the only one. For one thing I think that it is possible for the child to bond more to the parents then they otherwise may have as opposed to in our house where it was us against them :-) Plane tickets are cheaper when you only have to buy three, which means more world travel & in this house that is a wonderful prospect. As well as less stress sending our DD to private school & college, her wedding (should she so decide), so on & so on....

Having an only child is just not the way I ever pictured motherhood for myself. That was the hardest part of being in an infertile relationship to begin with - I never imagined my adult life without a house full of kids as my mom had. But of course now that I am an adult & constantly arriving at a new level of maturity I am learning that we don't always get what we want. Even the things that we once believed were a biological imperative.

So for all you only's out there - I know that doesn't make you the lonely's - Just as life without children doesn't mean life without family, love & nuture. We just have to be open to make the most out of the life that we are blessed with....that said of course I will be a bitter, sad & buzzed lady come this evening if this hasn't worked :-)

Good luck to all of us!

[PixxiDusst]

Hi Mom2Davis - I'm still here! It's been a busy week for me at work...which is good b/c it takes my mind off of all this...but bad b/c I don't get to post here as much.

I POAS on Wednesday and again this morning...still getting . Hopefully we can make that "official" when I go in for my first beta on Tuesday.

Kari - I'm sooo sorry to hear about your news. I'll say a special prayer for you.

Disney/CQ/Mom2Davis/Carina...and everyone else...sending lots of to y'all.

TGIF

PixxiDusst
Me - 32, normal
DH - 43, abnormal morphology

First IVF/ICSI cycle:
7/11 - ER - 16 eggs!
7/12 - 9 fertilized!
Fresh Transfer Cancelled due to OHSS
4 Blasts are frozen
9/11 - Trigger!
9/18 - FET (2 embryos)
9/24 HPT
9/26 HPT
9/28 HPT
10/2 - 1st Beta

[Tanya75]

Kari, I am so sorry to hear your news! You are in my thoughts and I will continue to pray for you!

Carina, I am sending positive vibes your way!

Gina, maybe try to wait after the weekend. It will be closer to the time!

I am sending everyone !

[CaribbeanQueen]

Here's a story for ya... Yesterday, I was out running errands with my DD. On the way home, I had this awful feeling come over me... The "it didn't work" feeling. I started BAWLING in the car. DD was looking at me. I said, "Mommy is sad, but I'll be okay." She was looking at me oddly--I don't think that she's ever seen me *really* cry before. I managed to contain myself until she went down for her nap, then I bawled some more.

Yes, I had POAS Wednesday (8dpt) and it was glaringly negative. Last night, I did the same thing--and negative too. When DH came home from work, I told him that I *knew* that I wasn't pregnant. I am sure I sounded like a crazed fool. I told him that I wanted to just move forward--not be stuck in this IF misery.

In my infinite stupidity, I did not take my shots last night (Delestrogen and PIO). DH didn't even ask.

This morning, I went to the gym (I wanted to start feeling like *me* again--not a crampy, hormonal mess). That was good.

Around 11, I decided to POAS on the Dollar Tree test, and I saw a faint line. I thougt that I was hallucinating. After DD had lunch, I tried a FRED test. Sure enough--! Holy s**t!

By now, I am having heart palpitations like crazy. I first call my RE's office to tell my nurse that I didn't do my shots last night. She's out to lunch... Still waiting for a call back. Then I call DH who is as dumbfounded (and excited) as me.

I know that all of you said to wait to POAS, but you KNOW how it is... You just need an answer. And believe me, I was BEYOND CONVINCED that I was negative. I had awful, awful, awful cramps, and the soreness in my boobs had gone away completely. I was sure that AF was just around the corner. Especially since on our successful cycle, I had NO symptoms at all.

So I will keep everyone posted. I am waiting for my nurse to call me back and chew me out for not taking my meds. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is truly good news. We'll see.

[limey]

CQ - Awsome news, I am so happy for you!!!

[CaribbeanQueen]

Nurse finally called back. She said, "I can't believe you! You're the last person I'd suspect of stopping your meds!" She says that it does happen all of the time, though. She's said some women even get their periods after transfer, and they're still pregnant.

Bottom line: I need to get both shots as soon as DH gets home, then get my next Delestrogen shot on Sunday night (it has been every three nights). I'll stay on PIO for several more weeks b/c I had the FET. I guess with fresh cycles, our office discontinues PIO after 3 positive Betas.

My Beta #1 is still scheduled for Monday morning. Will have more to report after that, I'm sure.

[PixxiDusst]

YEAH CQ! That's awesome news! Hope it all works out for you!

--PixxiDusst

[carina]

CQ~You are a trip! LOL! That was the best story ever! I am happy for you & glad that its all good with the shots.

Good luck to all of us!

[mom2davis]

All hail to the Queen- Congrats to you on your You give us hope to never believe a until the blood test!

Carina- You did not offend me in anyway. I do the same convincing of myself about how 3 is so easy too. My saving grace (sort of) is that if this doesn't work we're going to move to a new house and it's really awesome.

Pixxi- Glad to know that you are still getting a. Maybe since you were able to get a + so soon- it may be twins!

Limey- Have you decided whether to test or not?

My BETA was changed to Wednesday. I guess they counted wrong the day of transfer. The only problem is that my co teacher has her observation that morning. I know she would like me there for that added support, but I think she'll understand. I can't believe that I have to wait another day.

[Kari]

Boy, this thread is hoppin'!

Thanks so much for your kind words. You're right, you're the only ones who truly understand how we're feeling. I've spent the day drinking wine, caffeine, and eating junk food to try to make up for the bad news.

I am so hoping for good news from the rest of you! CQ congrats on your !