[Frustrated_N_IL]

Hi all! My story is a little long..but if you have any advice for me, it would be greatly appreciated. I am extremely frustrated.
I was diagnosed with Hypothyroid at around age 10. They said I would probably have a hard time getting pregnant in the very far future. (What do you know..they were right) When I was 15 and started my periods they were long and far between. Passed baseball size clots. It was horrible.
I had my uterus scraped at 19 and was put on Desogen-28. This was the best thing ever!! It made me have normal cycles and the doctor said when I was ready to have children just go off the pill a couple of months before our wedding.
I went off it around the end of December'08. We must have gotten pregnant at that time. I thought my heavy bleeding was coming back, but it was a miscarriage. I didn't finish completely and was in lots of pain. This was 2 weeks before my wedding. I almost needed a DNC, but luckily my numbers started coming down. We've been actively trying since March..but I'm not ovulating on my own.
I went to my OB/Gyn and she put me on Provera because my period had stopped coming. It helped get it going, then I was put on 50mg of Clomid. No ovulation. Did another round of Provera, then 100mg of Clomid. I was sure I ovulated the 2nd time, but nothing. She wanted to do 150mg, but I said No and I wanted another option. The side effects are not worth it to get no results.
I have my first visit today with an Infertility Specialist at the Fertility Center of IL in Glenview. This past week has been more nerve racking than the wait to get my Progesterone checked to see if I ovulated. My stress level is out of this world. I joined Curves and I've been taking swim classes. Not sure if its helping yet. I should be exhausted, but I stay up late and get up early.
Does anyone have any advice on the IUI? I've been doing some research and it looks like that will be our first treatment plan. I want it with the fertility drugs. It has such a low success rate of only 8%. We already know our insurance will not cover it...more stress! Ugh! What the hell is insurance for then!? This is a medical issue. It should not be considered an optional thing. Believe me, if I could get pregnant on my own I wouldn't be considering this. I don't want to give myself a shot for fun!

[Frustrated_N_IL]

I had my visit. It went well I think. Turns out I may have PCOS. They are going to run some tests. They took $1100.00 worth of blood from me today and thats not including from my husbands blood donation. They better find something! I have to return hubbys sperm on Friday. Woopee. I get to hold it between my legs all the way there. This should be fun. Thats the only updates I have for now.

[Sams79]

I know how you're feeling!!! ((hug)). this is a great place with women from all over and I have here more than once over the past year when I felt completely alone, only to be reminded that I am not alone n things can be ok. I'm in IL too, and we have our first appt with an RE next wed, but I'm actually waiting for my period now, and had a possible pos pg test. this is after quite a bit of baby dancing over the last few yrs, clomid, testing etc... so I'm trying to stay hopeful but realistic. our insurance wouldn't cover some stuff either, but hang in there... would love to talk to u more. I'm sending all positive thoughts and baby dust your way.

[Frustrated_N_IL]

The reason my OB/Gyn sent me to the FCI was that I don't ovulate. Turns out I must have ovulated. Just not enough to show up in the blood work. How is that possible!? Anyways, I went in last monday for bloodwork and an ultrasound. He wants to check me for PCOS and he had to do a pregnancy test. Guess what..I'm pregnant. My HCG was 16 on monday, but my progesterone was low. They checked me again on Wednesday. My HCG was 57 and my progesterone was still low. They checked me on friday...my HCG was 156 and progesterone was really low. They are going to check me again on Tuesday to see what the HCG is then. This sucks!! They think it may be a bad pregnancy and it might be etopical(spelling) in my fallopian tube. I am so mad!!!! (But they are not sure yet...so I just have to keep calm and have hope) But as of right now I am pregnant, so I need to be happy about that.
*****Has anyone had this problem and been ok with the pregnancy?

[ruby2shoes2]

I have not had this trouble. I just read your post and wanted you to know that I was keeping you in my mind. We need to stick together and throw positive thoughts into the Universe. ( it is ok for us to say "stay positive" but if another person who isn't in our boat says it................. you want to kill them

[Frustrated_N_IL]

It looks like I may have to terminate this pregnancy. My level on friday was 167...and today(monday) its at 242. The doctor says its not rising fast enough and its a faulty pregnancy. He will test me again on wednesday and he says he will know by then if he has to give me medication to terminate. I don't know if I can do that... Would it hurt me to just let it do it on its own? Are my numbers really that bad?

[Frustrated_N_IL]

My levels went from 242 to 444 and then today we drew blood again and it went to 612 but they also did an ultrasound and found that it was in my fallopian tube. We terminated this afternoon with the injection. I feel like a murderer. In some ways I think it would have been better for the tube to rupture and lose the baby that way than to kill him/her myself. I feel so terrible that it has no words for what I am feeling right now. I feel sick to my stomach. I'm not sure I could go through this again.

[Sams79]

Christina, I'm so sorry for your loss. hang in there & let us al know how you are doing.
sams79

[Frustrated_N_IL]

The doctors office called today. My levels have dropped down to 180. Will do another blood test on Friday morning. I was starting to feel better with myself today until I was at Target earlier. My best friend in the whole world is having a 2nd baby. She's having a girl and I am gonna get to see her in a few weeks when I head home for Thanksgiving and since she's due in January I wanted to take down some baby clothes. This little one will actually be my neice, but not by blood. I was doing fine by the onesies and then I went over to the bath stuff and I had in my head a room all decked out in Turtles for no matter what I was going to have...and on the Hooded towels and burp bibs were turtles. I started balling. It was so bad a lady even stopped to ask if I was ok. I felt mortified. I should be able to control my emotions better. I couldn't believe I started balling like that. I normally do that in the privacy of my bathroom. It was really bad.