[makenalelu]

We've been TTC for 16 months, I am 28. My sister is 32 and her DH is 40. They have been TTC for 6 months. She calls tonight to tell me she's pregnant. I am truely happy for her, though after the call, I burst into tears. How do I deal with this? Why hasn't this happened for me? Will I ever be able to call someone and say "I'm pregnant"? This whole fertility thing hasn't really gotten to me until the past month or so. Last Friday, within 1 hour I found out two friends were pregnant, one other had a baby that day and came home to find a baby shower invite in the mail. A week later my sis is preggers. What the H@LL!

[sharonla]

I know how hard it is honey. But your time will come. Take some time to yourself to deal with it. Every baby is a miracle.

[RosieB]

Originally Posted by makenalelu

We've been TTC for 16 months, I am 28. My sister is 32 and her DH is 40. They have been TTC for 6 months. She calls tonight to tell me she's pregnant. I am truely happy for her, though after the call, I burst into tears. How do I deal with this? Why hasn't this happened for me? Will I ever be able to call someone and say "I'm pregnant"? This whole fertility thing hasn't really gotten to me until the past month or so. Last Friday, within 1 hour I found out two friends were pregnant, one other had a baby that day and came home to find a baby shower invite in the mail. A week later my sis is preggers. What the H@LL!

I know, it is totally not fair I am 33 and we have been trying 2 years now. My 25 year old sister called me (before we knew we had problems) and said she was pregnant, by accident, her and her BF have no jobs and obviously are not married. I was so upset, but I had to help her thought it and now I have a beautiful niece. It still really bothers me, and sometimes I get really anxious when I go to see them or they come to visit. It is like someone punches you in the stomach everytime you hear that someone else is pregnant.

You just have to take care of yourself. You will be a mother, and you will be happy. Your time will come, Don't feel bad about being angry or upset. It is normal. I will say a for you because I can relate completely.

[Linz712]

I can relate. My SIL is 25 weeks with twins. It hurts. Becasue its not that we aren't happen for them, its just that we wish we were sharing the experience with them. My family all knows up front what we;re dealing with. I've talked with my DH, and he has kind of relayed how I've felt. I just very much reiterate to all of them , that we are very happy they were blessed, and that I get upset not becasue she is expecting, but becasue I'm not. I would talk to your family- make sure they know what a struggle this entire process is for you. I've also asked them to please not treat me "differently" but to be curtious in what they say- i.e- talking about all the cute new maternity clothes & what on earth is she going to register for is not what I need to hear! You know what I mean? My family does pretty well- but I honestly think that people don't always think how their action or words effect others sometimes. It just hits closer to home when its family. I've gotten upset- several times- its okay to cry- we need to. This is a struggle. Talk to your sister- tell her how you feel, & how hard this is. Prayers of all of us in this truly difficult situation. And, I think its okay to say no if saying yes is more stressful. I have said no to a few family events- and I may say no to going to the baby shower. How will she enjoy her day with me in the corner bawling? Hopefully they understand.

[makenalelu]

Thanks for the advice. The good thing about this is that my sis lives in Florida (we are in Kansas), so it won't be in my face everyday. She is only 3 weeks along and she actually told me before her DH (he was out of town). They aren't planning to tell anyone (even family) for awhile, so I know she'll be coming to me. I think she will be sensitive to my situation...I want to know top line info, I just can't take hearing the day to day stuff. I am truely happy for them, but you are right, I'm upset because this isn't happening for me. I hate to think like this, but I'm 28 and my DH is 29. She is 32 and her DH is 40. Statisically they should be having issues, not us based off age. It's an awful thing to think, but being honest. Anyways, I will deal the best I can. I do feel better as we are doing IUI this month and have a good "game plan" in place. I always feel better when we are actively doing something to change this situation!

[Staci]

I am so sorry. That is tuff. One of my step daughters has had 3 children since we have been trying and then the other one had one that she wasn't ready for. The blessing in that is that we have 3 wonderful grandchildren to enjoy and we were here to raise the other one who is just the joy of our lives and after 2 yrs of dealing with child welfare and his parents antics we are finally adopting him and I can't tell you what a relief that is.

Now if we could just get pregnant and give him a little brother or sister, things would be really great. It's not a lot to ask, right?

[Pennycuff]

I can completely relate..in the last 6 months, I have had 2 friends get pregnant on accident and have their babies (one couple didn't want children and were on b/c).

At work, two girls have gotten pregnant....one lady, her 15 year old daughter is pregnant and another lady's daughter is also pregnant.

I'm SURROUNDED by them! Ugh! DH and I keep trying and nothing....it's very disheartening.

Hang in there....just keep faith as much as possible and know that you aren't alone.