[indianrain123]

My wife and I are planning on IVF, but the thought of the process, the outcome and the side-effects of the medications are really freaking my wife out! She constantly reminds me she needs "emotional support". To make matters worse our problem is male factor infertility and she is completely normal

What can I do as a husband to support her emotionally? To all you women out there who are going through this, what do you expect from your DH?

Any practical advice is much appreciated!

[chantalTTC]

You're already doing so much by recognizing your wife needs support and seeking advice. She's lucky to have you by her side in this journey.

Sometimes by emotional support we mean 'talking about the problem'. You may want to suggest that you set aside a certain time of day for x mins that you focus on IVF and get out all the emotions and questions of the day. She can look forward to that outlet and knowing that you'll be there to support her. It certainly doesn't mean she cannot think or talk about it at other times, but formalizing it will show her how important it also is to YOU.

You may also want to suggest a counselor for her. Your clinic should offer such services, or your healthcare provider can give you a list of therapists focusing on fertility issues. I get a lot out of my sessions and it's nice to have someone a bit removed who is familiar with the process and the complex emotions that surface.

Best of luck to you and your wife. I hope you are successful with IVF!

[casb77]

Kristen's right, you're already on the right track by recognizing your wife's need for support. You might also suggest to your wife that she visit this website too. And you too, of course. http://forums.adoption.com/images/icons/icon7.gif There are IVF threads for every month of treatment. It's full of women going through IVF who will be able to talk her through the side effects and give tips on the injections.

I've also gone through spells of craziness with this whole IVF thing. My husband isn't nearly as concerned as I am, and that kind of makes it more difficult for me. Not that I wish my stress on him, I think I would just feel less alone if he was just a little stressed. He says he just sees this as our particular journey, even though it's different from all of our friends' and not what we would have chosen.

Other than that, you could do the injections for her and go to at least some of the appointments with her. A treat after the shot might be nice too, like ice cream or a cookie. It sounds kind of childish, but some things that worked in childhood still work now.

Flowers, chocolate, and back rubs would also be good ideas.

Good luck to you both!