[Sculli]

Well, I just had am humiliating Mother's Day meltdown and I thought I'd share. I was just on the phone with my Mom, wishing her a Happy Mother's day, when she says "did you see your sister's blog today?" and I said, no, let me look at it. So I pull it up, and this is what I see, in the middle of her blog:

[..first of the blog..] So, I thought I'd fill you in on some quick updates of our month.

We'll start with our big announcement first:

I'm expecting

....[more to her blog]

I instantly start crying and start saying "you're not supposed to do this to me, I'm supposed to be alone to see things like this, I gotta go, Happy Mother's Day" and I literally almost hung up. In this blazing 1.5 seconds I realize I can't do that to my Mom so I stop myself and hear her frantically say 'oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about how you would take that, she's not pregnant, keep reading' (she sounds genuinely upset that she upset me). So, I look at it closer, and this is what it really says.

So, I thought I'd fill you in on some quick updates of our month.

We'll start with our big announcement first:

I'm expecting

you to all be as excited as I am that [her husband] finally defended his thesis! [and continued blog..]

Yes, my sister was just being funny, and basically I made a big idiot of myself in front of my Mom, and couldn't ever really stop crying (now from embarassment as well, which just makes it harder to stop). We talked briefly about this IVF cycle and then I faked my way through another 10 minutes of unrelated conversation and now I just feel stupid and depressed. My sisters are all extremely fertile (3 are married and have 7 kids between them, 1 is just about to get married and will probably beat me to it, and I'm the oldest.)

So, not only am I miserable now, but I'm pretty sure I just ruined my Mom's Mother's day (she's really sensitive and has been soo supportive of all this, I know it just didn't occur to her at all how I'd take it. In fact, she may have forgotten that part of it was even on the blog, there was a lot more there as well).

Anyway, just thought I'd share, as I'm completely upset and my sisters are usually who I talk to when I'm upset. I thought maybe this would help me 'purge' so that I can sleep tonight. Hope everyone else survived this Mother's Day ok!

[DABob]

Hey, I'm only a guy but it is my opinion that you sister's "joke" was in poor taste if she is aware of the difficulty that you are going through. As for mom, don't worry too much about it. Was there a different point in the blog that she wanted to point out? or did your mom just think your sister's joke was cute and you'd get a kick out of it (right in the gut) Well, I wish you well and try not to get too twisted about all this.

[BabySteps]

I am sorry you had a meltdown. TTC is extremely stressful and it is natural that you are sensitive the way you are. I am sure your Mother understands. I hope you get a good night sleep and feel better in the morning

[Sculli]

Originally Posted by DABob

Was there a different point in the blog that she wanted to point out? or did your mom just think your sister's joke was cute and you'd get a kick out of it (right in the gut)

Honestly, I'm not sure which it was. If I had read it on my own (not being on the phone) I probably would have read the second sentence fast enough that I wouldn't have ever actually believed it. My other sister actually just made the same type of joke-announcement on her blog a couple months ago that was actually about a new puppy. They are actually incredibly supportive, but I think until you go through this first-hand you just can't imagine how easy it is to get upset.

I do already feel better though, I just had a nice cry-session with my husband, now I will be able to sleep. Thanks for reading and replying, both of you It's nice to have some people who relate.

[Deb72]

I don't think you reacted strangely AT ALL. Going through infertility is tough, and to have someone (though I realize it was family) spring a "joke" like that on you is thoughtless. People just don't think. You had every right to become emotional. I would have reacted the same way. Nobody knows what it feels like to be going through IF and it is BRUTAL. I just received a BAPTISM invitation for our friend's baby. I already avoided the baby shower, now this?! What sort of lie am I going to make up this time? Ugh... anyway, just wanted to give you my opinion.

Take care and be good to yourself - this is a difficult time.

[Jill]

Well, Don't Feel Bad At All. I Was Wondering If I Was The Only One That Did That Yesterday. I Had A Meltdown Too. I Was At Church And Of Course, Mother's Day We Had Our Baby Dedication. I Was At The Front Taking Pictures Of Friends And I Was Fine. Then One Of The Mother's, Who Sings Beautifully, Sang A Song To Her Baby... It Was Soooo Sweet! I Just Broke Down. I Couldn't Get Up And Leave Cause I Was At The Front Of The Church. So After She Finished And Everyone Stood Up To Sing, I Got Up And Went To The Restroom. I Wiped My Eyes And Got Cleaned Up. Went Back In To Church And Sat With My Mom In The Back. I Started Crying Again. The More I Sat There The More I Cried. Everyone In My Church Knows That We Have Done Invitro And That It Didn't Work And Everyone Has Been Praying For Me. Then Our Song Leader Came Back There And She Just Hugged Me And Said Some Really Sweet Things To Me. Then I Really Cried. My Husband Didn't Know What Was Going On. I Finally Told My Mom I Was Just Going To Slip Out And Go Back To Her House. Once I Was There I Still Couldn't Stop Crying. Finally I Got Straightened Up. It Just Came Out Of No Where And Wouldn't Stop!!!

[Katy]

Hey there - no apologies needed! I agree with what someone else said above - it's not funny to joke about stuff like "we're expecting" when someone so close is suffering. I have definitely become more sensitive, but am now learning that I should have always had this kind of sensitivity toward others - you never know what someone might be going thru.
You are entitled to your meltdown!