After being pregnant twice and suffering two eptopic pregnacies, I was informed two years ago that the only way to have a child would be through IVF. A year later my partner & I split and I have now been single for a year.

I am scared that It will be difficult for me to find someone who will understand the problems I am faced with. I feel useless as a woman and would really just like someone to talk to who can reasure me, as I know I can not be the only one with these worries.

Sarah,

You are definately NOT useless as a woman. I have gone through 2-3 years of infertility treatments and know of the thoughts running through your head right now. Infertility makes us feel "different" than other women because we let ourselves think we need to have the ability to get pregnant and carry a baby to be a woman. That isn't it at all. Being a woman is much more than the ability to be pregnant. Just because we can't get pregnant doesn't mean we won't some day be a great mommy! Another thing is sometimes Doctors can't predict if you will or will not be able to get pregnant. Every woman is different. You aren't alone in this, we are all here to help.
When you meet someone you are iterested in starting a family with you may have a difficult time telling him you may be infertile, but understand, if he is the right guy for you he will be there to work through it with you. You starting a new relationship and having to tell him you may be infertile will be a lot like having been in a relationship and finding out you are infertile together. If you love each other you work through all of life's challenges together.
It is a very hard situation, and a very emotional one (at least for my husband and I), but it does get better. There are so many options for you when you are ready to have a child, and you will know when the right one comes along.
Let me know if you ever want to talk, I would be happy to. Just remember, its the difficult times in our lives that make us stronger.

Your Friend,
Carrie

This kind of struck a chord for me b/c when we were dx "infertile, unknown origin" I was terrifed DH would leave me and even offered for him to divorce and find someone who could give him a child....he flatly refused and said 'sweetheart, I didn't choose you because of your uterus, I chose you because of your soul'.

Find that person for you, they're out there, have faith.

BTW he's a fantastic Dad of our son and could care less that he doesn't share our biology.

Hang in,

Regina, Amom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

You already know your fertility status--that's a huge advantage over couples who realize gradually that they can't have a bio child. Your husband will know what he's getting into and you will have an opportunity to decide if you want to persue IVF or adoption -- before you get on the rollercoaster of trying to start a family.

Also, there are plenty of men out there who already have children, who may not be interested in having more, if you decide that neither IVF or adoption are for you.

Like you, my DH and I knew our fertility status before we even were interested in being parents. I consider us very lucky and fortunate that we both had issues so there was no pressure on either one of us to pursue treatment.

Look at this knowlege as a blessing that will allow you to have meaningful conversations with the man you one day will marry so you can decide these issues before you are legally bound to one another.