[iguessnot73]

I'm new here. I wish I was more cheery.

I have been trying for a baby for 6 years. I was recently diagnosed with severe endometrosis. The doctor told me the chances of me getting pregnant were pretty slim.

I'm sill in mourning. I hate looking at anything to do with babies. My mother repeatedly tells me that she waited so long for grandkids and she's so delighted my younger brother finally sorted that out for her. Totatally ignoring my 6-7 years of trying and my heartache at not getting pregnant.

I don't feel like a real woman. All I've ever wanted is to be a mom. I wish my lovely husband would just leave me so I wouldn't feel so guilty at not being able to get pregnant.

I need some encouragement. Sorry to dump on you guys.

[HopefulinCO]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles - I have unexplained infertility, not endo, but I feel like I see tons of women on here who do have endo and are able to get pg. Have you seen an RE? Talked about whether surgery to remove the endo would increase your fertility? Have you though about other options, like adoption? I know it's not for everyone, and it's certainly not an easy road, but you'll find many women on here who've become moms through adoption.

I will also just relate that my mom had endometriosis and was told she would never have children (this was 40 + years ago, of course) and then she had me at age 35 and my brother 2 years later. So even if they say they can't do anything to help increase your fertility, miracles do happen...

Finally, it sounds like you need to talk to your mom about the subject of her giving you grandkids being taboo. You do not need the stress of her pressure on top of what you're already feeling. A lot of women, me included, struggling with infertility also find a lot of support and help through professional counseling. That may be something else to consider.

and I wish you peace.

Heather

[ecarolk]

I assume you have considered a surrogate but decided it is not for you? Or an egg donor and/or surrogate depending on your situation?

PS: Hope this is okay to say, but your mom needs to be schooled. Someone (not you) needs to sit her down and explain how hurtful and insensitive her remarks are. You really shouldn't let that go, but neither should you be the one to bear the burden of "educating" her.

So sorry you are feeling so discouraged.

[iguessnot73]

I can't tell you guys how much your words mean to me. It's really helpful to know I'm not the only person struggling with this.

I get asked so often by people "So when are you two going to have kids?" I wish more people understood that it's not easy for some and that's not a great question to ask. To be honest, I don't even know how to respond anymore.

I think my husband and I are still pretty sad about what's going on with us, so I haven't brought up the idea of a surrogate or IVF. I'm not sure we could afford either, but I think it's important to talk about. Adoption would also seem like a really good avenue to look at.

Thanks again... you don't know what your responses mean to me.

[StaceyinLA]

I am so very sorry for your struggles and your disappointment. It is a lot to take in. We are so blessed in this day and time to have so very many options to get a baby. Of course you have to mourn the loss of what you thought would be your journey...and get to the right place for you and your husband. I just wanted you to know that when you are ready to explore all the options I think you will be pleasantly surprised! You can still be a mom! Hang in there and I agree with a previous statement....SOMEONE needs to tell your mom that the things she is saying are hurting you. Good Luck and KUP on your journey to motherhood~

[xpartofitx]

I can completely understand how you feel. My husband and I are already getting asked about when we will be having kids. Only our mothers really know about our infertility issues and it hurts when people ask so all I can try to do is grin and bear it.

Also I understand your frustration about anything baby. I feel like I am stuck in a vortex, one of my best friends got unexpectedly pregnant last summer and soon expecting a baby on 4/10. While I am so happy and excited for her, every time she mentions her precious gift or how wonderful and exciting it all is I want to lash out. I am in a total conundrum, trying to be supportive without letting the jealousy completely eat me up.

Good luck though with your treatments going forward. There must be options out there for you and I hope and pray you find them.