[jessalynhope]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new here and looking to talk with people who may understand and share some of my feelings.
I've been trying to conceive for over two years...I have endometrios, but I'v ehas surgery so that shouldn't be causing any problems.My husband and I always planned to adopt and we're beginning the process, but it doesn't make our infertility hurt any less. Everyone around me is pregnant, and I mean pretty much everyone. All but one of my girlfriends is pregnant, or just had a baby. Yesterday one our friends called to announce the birth of their second daughter, and another friend of mine just e-mailed me to announce she's pregnant. I can't stop crying, I feel so alone.
Last month my sister and uncle died suddenly, and I just feel so heartbroken all the time now, and with infertility on top of it, I feel like I'm going to explode...Just looking for some support...I'm so miserable right now, which makes me feel horrible because I should be happy for people but I can't seem to muster up my happy face right now.I'm always the one supporting everyone, and right now I don't have to energy.
Also if I hear one more person tell me to relax and it will happen, I'm going lose it!!

[Kellileanne]

First let me say Welcome! This is a great place for support!

I also am usually the rock in the family too but with infertility you need someone else to take that role, atleast for a while. You are not the only one who feels that way! We have all gone through so much just to add a life to this world and to have that squashed is absolutely disasterous!

The pain of endometriosis doesn't help either (it turns me into a monster). With deaths in the family (especially sudden, that is how we lost DH mom) it really wears on you! You don't know where to go to get away from the pain and then your body reminds you that you can't get pregnant, believe me, a lot of us know the feelings you are having! Just remember you are not alone in all this and coming here could be very good for you!

I would suggest talking to a counselor, they can give you different exercises to do (some mental, emotional, physical, etc) that will help you learn to deal with the huge amount of stress you are under and help you out of the depression that comes with infertility and loved ones deaths. I hope you have family and friends to support you, it really helps!!!

[shb24]

Hi & Welcome! You've found a great forum to support you in your struggles with IF as well as life. Lean on us anytime, but like Kelli said, good counseling can help tremendously, too. Each of us has experienced a part of what you are experiencing, so know that you are not alone in this journey. Good luck to you and I hope things start to look up for you soon!

Shelly

[indianagirl]

Welcome to the forum...I am so sorry for your loss...and the bottom line is that infertility is a grieving process as well. I know all to well about being surrounded by pregnant woman and newborns. I have found some great friends in here that can validate those feelings. This place is a great place to get information and support. Take care of yourself on this journey.

[94VALENTINEWANTSBLNG]

Welcome to the site. I hope you find that this is a place FULL of caring, compassionate, loving and understanding people. We are all here for you. Though we may not fully relate to all that you are going through, one thing is for sure, we can all relate to IF. Please stay around and join in, I am 99% sure your spirits will start to lift. God Bless.

[gingerj]

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. life throws us curve balls at times but somehow we make it through! I'm so glad you found this site as it has provided many of us with much hope and inspiration. I hope you find the same! Best wishes and good luck on this journey!

[JenD]

You are not alone here and will find this site so helpful. I am sorry about all you have gone through. We will all be here for you.

[dipscool]

Hi Jess,
A huge to this forum...I am so sorry for your pain...and all of us trying to deal with IF go through phases we just dont know what to do..
You have come to the right place..
This forum is full fo warm and caring gals...who will most definitely lift your spirits...
We are here to support you in your journey..and we shall get thru this and all of us will one day be on..I am a mommy forum...
Keep the faith...Take care...

Deepa

[Jacklyn]

Hello and welcome to the forum!!
Know that you are not alone. We all feel the same pain that you do. Its normal to feel unhappy when you hear that some one else is pregnant. Remember that you are not unhappy for them, but unhappy for the fact that you don't have it yet. It is difficult to muster up the courage and go hang out with other people who are pregnant or have babies. Its ok to give yourself time and if you need to avoid people for a little while that is ok too.

Just on Friday I was at a birthday party of a 1 year old. Almost everyone out there had kids. I was afraid that it would be hard for me, but thankfully it went ok. I guess that's the other thing, you never know when you are going to feel fine and when your emotions are going to be all in turmoil.

Just try to take each day as it comes. Its great that you are going to adopt. Possibly, focusing on the adoption might lessen the IF pain and once you have your baby in your arms it may all be wonderful.

Hang in there and good luck with everything!!

[jessalynhope]

WOW!!!Thank you everyone, your replies helped tremendously!!! Last night I had a nice bath (I'd bought some colour therapy bath after work yesterday), and watched a movie. Then my husband came home with his best friend- who it turns out is having fertlity problems, and that made me feel better, because I know he kind of gets it.I'm feeling much better, and am now rerady to write my friend back. She does energy work on me, but I think I may have to keep my distance for a little while. I'm not sure I can handle seeing her every week. That may sound selfish, but I think it'll be too hard....

[frycx]

You have been through a lot!! I can so relate to your feeling of unhappiness. I have a similar situation where everyone around is pregnant and now on their 2nd baby. I keep smiling and saying congratulations, meanwhile feeling the desparation of feeling left out. Your feelings are so normal. I'm so truly sorry to hear about your loss. I lost someone very close to me and that is entirely a different animal. Couseling has already been suggested, but I strongly encourage you to seek help. Once I embraced counseling, it has helped so much. Know we are here for you...take care.

[biggsista]

Hi there Jessa,
I wish I could just reach out and give you a big hug...You have been through so much and anything on top of infertility is too much to handle! It is so hard to deal when "we" are stuck in one spot just trying to live like everybody else. Some people will understand you, others will not. Remember to do what is best for YOU. That is not being selfish, that is merely survival. I am so sorry to hear about your sister and uncle. Take care and we are all here with a ear or a shoulder..

[Faith]

Hi Jessa,
I hope you are doing okay. I can't imagine what you must be feeling like. One thing I try to remember is that we have more strength packed away than we realize. I hope your day is getting better, and I pray that your weeks brighten up. Many hugs and smiles to you. Take Care.

[Gertzy79]

Welcome to the forum, you have definitely come to the right place. We are here for you and listening.

[jessalynhope]

Thank you everyone again!
I've decided to attend councilling, and am nervous but it's a good start I suppose. Thank you for inspiring me to do that, I'm very grateful. I'm really glad I came here...