[jenedens6102]

I found this article online, very touching and it hits our forum close to home, no matter what stage of IF you are in ...

(This was found by Devan - dndtaylor)

A Mother’s Day Dilemma

April 21, 2005 at 9:16 am

Yesterday my husband and I picked out Mother’s Day cards for our moms. We are both blessed to have our parents still married to each other and have good relationships with our moms. Celebrating our moms and being thankful for them is the easy part of Mother’s Day.
The hard part of Mother’s Day is dealing with the fact that well into our ninth year of marriage we remain childless. For whatever reason, God has not chosen to bless us with any children.
Well, that’s not exactly accurate which is what makes this Mother’s Day even more of a challenge for me.
Like most women who want children and don’t have them, Mother’s Day can present a real dilemma. Of course we want to honor our own mothers. At the same time, we would prefer to just skip the day all together since it can be a hard reminder of something painful in our lives.
The first few years we were married, Mother’s Day didn’t bother me too much. We hadn’t been “trying” very hard and we were open to letting God decide the size and timing of our family. However, each year it became a little harder, especially going to church where everything revolved around honoring mothers that day. So, like many couples, the past few years we have simply chosen to worship at home on Mother’s Day rather than deal with all the “stuff”. It is a choice we have been content with.
This year presents a new challenge because in October we had a miscarriage around the sixth week. I actually got out my calendar yesterday and counted. If I had not lost that baby, I would be around thirty weeks right now. I would have gone into Mother’s Day just about ready to deliver. And David would have had a beautiful new baby to carry into church on Father’s Day in June.
Which I guess gets me to the main point of this entry. How does a childless mother celebrate Mother’s Day?
After my miscarriage I posted some questions on a Christian women’s discussion board since I was trying to sort through the whole thing. For me, the hardest part has been the theological aspect. When something like a miscarriage happens, you think about all kinds of things that never crossed your mind before. Am I a mom? What do I do on Mother’s Day? If I’m in church and they ask all the mothers to stand, do I stand up? To stand up seems awkward since I have no living children. And yet to not stand up seems to minimize the life of the child who was only here so briefly and is now with Christ. I still haven’t found an answer that completely satisfies me.
So this year my heart goes out not only to the childless women as it has each year before, but to the women like me who are childless mothers. I pray that God’s grace will be poured out on each of us during this season.


Okay so I was still looking online and I found this too. An interesting take on things to do to help get your mind off the loss and upset.
If your heart hurts this Mother’s Day, there are some things you can do as you look to God to bring rest to your soul.

• Symbolic gestures can be helpful in bringing healing. As you have asked God to bring you comfort, consider some tangible action as you focus on Him, your Helper and your Healer.
• Consider planting a rose bush if you have lost a child by miscarriage, death or abortion, in memory of that special little life.
• Take a potted plant to a nursing home if you are missing your own Mom who is gone, or filled with regret for what you did not have with her when she was alive. Brighten some elderly mother’s lonely day and let her know she is cared about.
• Reach out to a child who is starved for the love you have to give and ask God to begin to heal your heart. This takes time. Be gentle with yourself and run often to the Father for His continued healing.
• Send a simple "I'm thinking of you" card to someone. If relationships are strained or cut off, ask God to show you how to begin rebuilding. Go slow and ask for His direction.
• Invite a friend to a picnic in the park or to sit on your deck and drink iced tea on Mother’s Day.

[nedege24]

second post seeing this and i still have to say wow

[dndtaylor]

Thanks Jen for posting this for me and I hope that everyone had a great weekend. I have been out of town for the weekend and I apologize for not being so talkative during such an emotional day for us all. I hope that you relaxed and enjoyed the weekend in your own special way. Everyone has there own ways of looking at Mother's Day, so I hope that the writing was able to connect to everyone no matter your stage in the IF journey. You ladies are the best and just keep your heads up and all will work in the way God intends. Hope everyone has a great week! Hugs!

[jenedens6102]

Welcome back Ms Devan! How was your trip? How did you cope with Mother's Day? We are happy to have you back and on top of the game!