[boston_couple]

So my wife and I had our 2nd failed IVF--first one was 4 months ago--1 embryo on a stimulated cycle. Got 5 beautiful frozen embies then, and on 8/8 transferred 2 embies in an FET. Got the negative blood test yesterday. It was 4 months in between partly because my wife ovulated during the 2nd cycle even though she was on lupron, then she had one cyst that would simply not shrink (it finally did).

Doc said she wants to move aggressively, but wants us to wait one cycle (4-5 more weeks), have a look at a small septum, redo bloodwork since over a year old--but my wife wants to push to try to do it during the very next cycle. I am unsure how much to push here, as I know my wife is very, very upset. I know very well much of my job is to make her feel better, but I don't want to do the wrong thing medically or look like a nutjob with the doctor. I did insist on a Monday appt. with the doc. I think my wife would stick those eggs in next week if she could, and I understand her feelings...

Help! How much do I push here? Does *anyone* do a 2nd cycle immediately following the first? Should I be more aggressive? Seek a 2nd opinion? Sorry if this is not coherent, didn't get much sleep last night.

I should note: I'm 38, she's 37, both tested fine, no sperm count or other issues. Doc said she is responding to hormones, levels, etc. more like a 20-something. So we are totally in the "unexplained" category.

[casb77]

Boy, that's a tough one. As you can see by my signature, I got a BFN from my fresh cycle in July and jumped right back in with a frozen cycle right away. Still, if your RE wants to wait a cycle to check some stuff out, that might be the way to go. A septum can interfere with implantation and the blood results might suggest a different protocol if the levels have changed in the last year. I would definitely ask if any of those checks can be done in the next week or two before the transfer would take place. That might be a way to satisfy your doc with the tests but still get going with your next frozen cycle right away.

Speaking from the experience of deciding in March to do IVF but not even starting BCP until June, that 4-5 weeks will go by quicker than you think. It was also nice for me to not have to stress about being able to fit in all the pre-work, especially since I ended up needing a polypectomy followed by a full cycle before starting IVF. You guys could take your time scheduling the tests and do some fun, relaxing stuff as a couple.

Good luck with this decision and your next cycle, whenever that may be!

[Tree]

I'm sorry for your BFNs. They really hurt. I think waiting one cycle is probably a good idea. It will give you two time to heal from the pain of the BFN and be in a better place emotionally. Also, you guys can do things to improve your chances such as Yoga, accupuncture, Royal Jelly, etc. Just my opinion. I remember when we got our first BFN we jumped right into the FET and looking back I wish we hadn't. Good luck and best wishes to you both.

[BottleBrunette]

i'm so very sorry about the 2 failed IVFs. i know your pain, as i've had the same results.

also, why would this RE that you're seeing not remove the septum BEFORE doing 10s of thousands of dollars worth of treatments? i would be LIVID!!! septums restrict implantanation and cause miscarriages, so that doesn't make much sense to me to. i don't know about you, but if i were in your shoes i'd be seeking further treatment from a different RE.

[missywojo]

I am a big proponent of 2nd opinions. I think after 2 failed IVFs, you may want to get another RE's opinion. Scheduling that appointment would buy you some time with your wife who wants to move quickly. Most of us girls on here do want to keep plugging away and not miss a cycle. It's just our thing.

[boston_couple]

Originally Posted by BottleBrunette

also, why would this RE that you're seeing not remove the septum BEFORE doing 10s of thousands of dollars worth of treatments? i would be LIVID!!! septums restrict implantanation and cause miscarriages, so that doesn't make much sense to me to. i don't know about you, but if i were in your shoes i'd be seeking further treatment from a different RE.

You make a really good point. I just posted this:

Removing uterine septate for infertility?

because the doc called back saying they want to remove it after conferring that day.

[ballerinagirl]

I am a true ivf veteran as you can see from my signature. First , I'm sorry it did'nt work the failures are devastating. I started when I was 39 and moved on to donor egg, had my transfer 3 days ago. Your wife is still young enough to where she has a chance. Go to sart.com and look at stats if she has normal fsh and no other problems go for a shared risk plan. Seek another opinion it can be very refreshing to see what someone else has to say. They all have different approaches. The septum or fibroid can inhibit implantation. This I know for sure. Go to your consult and write down questions to ask the doc. Boston has good programs. Each month matters at this point. Good Luck, you sound very compassionate and wish you both the best.