[Kell77]

Well, I just got an email from my sister-in-law (this is my husband's sister) to tell us that we are going to be an aunt & uncle. Are you serious? First, couldn't she have at least picked up the phone! Second, she is young & her husband isn't even 20 yet. Third, they just got married in June!! I know I should be happy for them, but with everything we have been doing to try and have a baby after 7 happy years of marriage, I just can't help but think, "no, this is my time, not yours!" Now there is a possibility our IUI worked (we are in the 2ww), but if it didn't I feel like it takes away from all the excitement that we were hoping for. Am I being ridiculous? I should be excited for her, but I'm not, they should enjoy being married & finish school first.

[GreatDaneMama]

Kell77,

I know exactly what you are talking about... Not only are all my friends finished having kids, their little sisters that I helped babysit are already having kids! And in one case, my best friend's niece already has a kid. I mean that is a generation ahead of me!!!

My sister has 3 kids, my brother has 2 (one on the way), my sister-in-law is pregnant with #2.

I never told my sister, but I ended up taking a hpt on the same day as her when she called all happy with a BFP and mine was BFN. I cried.

Sorry for this recent frustration... Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes.

[nbianca]

Good Luck Ladies, looks like we're all around the same iui dates....

[Kell77]

Thanks for understanding. We defiantly aren't the first of our siblings to try and have kids, we have 4 nephews (bro has 3 & sis has 1), but on my husband's side we have none, so I was hoping to be the first, espescially since my husband is 10 yrs. older than his sister. We have so many people around us pregnant and I can handle that, it's not in my face all the time, but with your family, it's different. Oh well, I should be happy, I mean, they don't even know what we've been going through, only my side of the family knows. And they will make it extra special, they're hoping we can add the first little girl to our clan, I'll just be happy with a healthy baby

[RayAnn]

I know exactly how u feel! My dh n i have been ttc for 6yrs how. I'm 28 n he's 30...he's the oldest of 4 boys. Last summer i got a phone call from my sis-n-law whose married 2 my dh's 26yr old bro n she told me she was preg. of course i said i was happy on the phone but have NEVER cried so hard n all my life when i hung up! We've been tryin 2 give my dh's parents g.kids for 6yrs now cuz they wanted em more than life itself...n then my sis-n-law gets preg...oh & in 1 try 2!!! I've never felt like a bigger failure in all my life! It seriously took me til after my nephew was born 2 get over my anger n bitterness.

[thooker]

Kell77 I AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY!!! I got a text from my DH sister friday before last that she is having twins. She already have a child she just had just a year ago excatly last april. She just got married and they both are about 22, only one of them have a job and they have no car at all, if the baby gets sick they have to call my DH to come way across town to take them to the emergency room. That is some BS, they are just laying around making babies for other people to take care of. Yesterday, my DH brother had a going away dinner b/c he is leaving to live with there older brother in another state. The whole while they were trying to get me to address the fact that they are preg. who really cares. I sure the H*&& don't!!! My af is now two days late but I just know it is because of the clomid b/c people say it throws off your cycle. I to had spotting yesterday and just don't want to take a test to get a BFN. Yea all the kids having kids with no effort and I am trying my hardest and I can't get one. A D#$@ shame! So feel how you need to feel I am with you.

[thooker]

Also noone on my DH side knows were going to a fertility doctor, but my side knows. So the s*&^ we go through with his people are wild.

[AnjelOfMyOwn]

I know it seems selfish when you look at other pregnant women/couples and you can't feel happy. But I think it happens to all women who are in our positions. I want to be happy for them, it isn't that they don't deserve it, everyone deserves it. I know when I start to be happy for others, I let my own guard/wall down and I am equally as sad for myself. It is my defense mechanism to keeping myself sane while everyone around me is pregnant. I work in a call center where it seems there is a baby shower every week of the year. I laugh I smile I say congratulations, I mean it, but I still have to push it out from behind the mask I have to wear.

[Klbabynow]

This past weekend was the first time I actually was upset being around a child. It is my Dhs friend and they have another on the way. I know they feel for us and ask how we are doing politely but by the end of the visti I was in tears. I am happy for anyone who can have a child but come on can I get a little too?

[Laura1490]

You know what always makes me happy, when I look at families who have had the same issue as me (ex. Jon and Kate Plus 8) and were successfull in their time. I look at some aunts and uncles who have kids and I NEVER knew that they had fertility issues. I find out now, that I have these issues, they also had the same issue as me. I have one aunt who was trying for 8 years! I mean we don't knwo the trials and tribulations people went through to get to their BFP... maybe they had like 3 or 4 miscarriages... or maybe they were just going through fertility issues.

I know that I will be a mother one day... i try not to think that others are so lucky or you know I am not getting what they are... I hate when I feel like taht.

I do want to say taht feeling that way is normal though. I mean who woudlnt' be upset if the chick next door was having baby after baby and you could't have one! It's very frustrating, but God works in mysterious ways! (For example, maybe God gave her baby after baby and then one day she can't support her kids anymore and she left them all to you!... just a thought... )