[PGirl28]

Hi everyone. I decided to find a forum and talk to people who may be going or have gone through similar issues.

My husband and I have been trying for a year now and sort of saw this coming. Here's the story-

When he was a kid the doctors told his parents that he was at risk for testicular cancer. The doctor's removed one testicle and he had one descended.

He told me early on in our relationship about this and that he probably had little to know sperm. Oh, and he has to take regular testosterone shots.

Anyways, so yes, he got his sperm count results today and it was sort of heartbreaking to hear the doctor say "there's no sperm."

I don't know why I'm so upset- I knew this could happen but I guess I was holding onto that chance that we'd conceive a miracle baby.

Of course I love my husband dearly and we've already had great at-length talks about our fertility options. I have to say I feel bad for him- he's said before it makes him feel like less of a man and I just wish he knows I'm 100% committed to our marriage and want to work with him to add to our family.

I really want to get pregnant though and while we've discussed artificial insemination, he isn't really behind that option because he feels the baby wouldn't really be his. I've tried to talk to him about how it's just one sperm and to me it wouldnt feel like any less of "his child." But I can see why he feels that way.

Has anyone been through something similar to this? I'm waiting to get the referral to the fertility clinic- but Im stumped as to our options. I assume our only options are either artificial insemination or adoption.

I just feel like now we've got the "real work" to do and that the next road ahead for adding a child to our family is going to be a bumpy one.

My biggest fears now though are that I will find out I've got fertility problems and then adoption will be our only option.

[amyinohio]

Sorry you have found yourself in this situation! You may want to check out the Azoospermia thread. There are many ladies that can give you great advise.

There are many different avenues that the women have traveled down, donor sperm, known donor sperm, embryo adoption, adoption... check it out...

[Sabene]

I don't know if this is an option, but does your husband have a brother? If you used his brother's sperm, he would at least be related to the baby and it may feel more like his own? Doctors are probably years away from being able to inject donor sperm with your husband's DNA but maybe ask if it is possible? I am sorry and will keep fingers crossed for you.

[lisa_kev]

PGirl28~



First off, let me start off with my DH and are in very similar situations as you. Although, for us we found out of his zero sperm 1st in 2003. We were devastated, for sure. Like you, we too saw it coming, but still had hope. My husband had leukemia at the age of 3, thus resulting in his azoospermia.

It has been a long road. In the beginning my husband was apposed to the idea of using a donor, he had to come around on his own. Think of it this way, if you needed a kidney or something you'd have to rely on someone else, using donor sperm isn't really that much different. There are sperm banks out there (Xytex) for example who offer both adult and childhood photos. My husband did his own research and found the donor we are using.

My advise is give it some time for it all to "sink in". For us, it was about a 2-year discussion of how we'd go about our fertility. Then it was a matter of how we'd pay for the costs.

I've had 2 failed IUI's and am in the process of pursuing IVF.

Best of luck to you! This forum is a wonderful place for support. Hope to see you around =)

[infertilitynovice]

I know this is a hard reality to come to. I knew when I married my husband that he had had a vasectomy after his youngest son was born. We thought we could simply aspirate his sperm (he still produces just doesn't "connect" anymore) and inseminate me...we didn't know much then, obviously. So then we were faced with the choice of using donor sperm and do and IUI (DIUI) or aspirate his sperm and do IVF (IVF/TESE). In the end we just didn't have the money for IVF so we made the decision to do DIUI. My husband already has 2 boys and was, somehow, completely fine with using donor sperm. He is amazing for lots of reasons, this gift to me is just one

I would recommend that you both talk with a fertility counselor before making your decision but my husband couldn't possibly be any more our DDs father if he had been the one whose sperm created her. I was so worried that he would regret his decision, but he hasn't for one second. He was more ready for this decision than I was even.

We hear all the time how much she looks like him...we just smile and say, "thanks"

She's just shy of 7 months now and as you can see from my avatar, she's georgous and 100% OUR baby.

I hope you are able to come together on this decision.

Best of luck to you both!

[Kris79]

PGirl - Just wanted to jump in and tell you how sorry I am you are going through this. We are in a similar "no sperm" situation and after much soul-searching decided to do donor insemination after discovering through a testicular biopsy that my husband indeed had no way of producing sperm. At first we both hated the idea of using a donor, but my husband has come around to realize that this is the best option for us and that he will be no less of a father because of this. We both wanted to experience having a pregnancy together and now we are in the two-week wait of our 5th IUI w/ donor sperm. At this point, we both so badly want me to get pregnant, we actually kind of forget that we used a donor. Not that it will ever be far from our minds, but we have come to accept that this is the only way to have a child that is genetically connected to at least me. It's not the right choice for everyone and right now you are still dealing with the sting of the diagnosis. It's a hard one to take and you just have to be there for each other right now. Sending you hugs. As Amy said, there are a lot of us over in the Azoospermia thread (under Causes of Infertility/Male Factor Infertility). Hanging out there is a great place for support and it helps not to feel so alone. Take care