[Sams79]

so, a friend came over today to drop off something and see our house. he and his wife bought their house recently and are decorating, remodeling, etc. his wife is preg and he asks if we're planning anytime soon. I don't hide our fertility issues bc I think its an important part of the process for me to share my story, as other have shared with me. anyways, I didn't get into details but he immediately says how so many other friends are having trouble too but (stupid thing #1) he and his wife used natural family planning so since they knew everything so well when they were ready BOOM it just happened so easily. later he said good luck with everything and I had mentioned how we were going to try for a certain amt of time and that we already know we'll consider adoption sooner than later... to which he replied (stupid thing #2) that we may want to get on a list and register now because its a really long process.he meant well but oh it hurt and frustrated me. I know so many people don't understand... so I just thought I'd share with people that do. thnks!! grace

[wtnganother1]

I agree that so many people put their foot in their mouth during these conversations. But, I don't know that there's much they can say that is right, when they haven't experienced this at all. People that haven't been in our shoes just don't get it, and can't understand.

[bistro]

It's tough . . .people want to say the right things and be supportive, but not having been in their shoes, they do not understand. At the same time, we can certainly be overly sensitive to everything. I am trying really hard these days NOT to let everything get to me and not be so angry with people. They really just don't know and most don't mean anything by it. I jumped down my poor Mom's throat whenever she kept saying to relax and it will happen. Or worse when she told me that studies show that women who adopt get pregnant because they are finally able to relax. How was she supposed to know that the word "relax" puts shivers up the spine of an infertile woman??

It's just hard. There is no right and wrong. I try to think about how awkward it is for the person talking to me too . . .and it sometimes actually helps.