[latebloom]

So many negative results we gone through, its hard to imagine getting a positive.

Went through 2 IUIs since last December and one IVF.

What makes this more painful, is that at work I was surrounded by 2 pregnant ladies. They sit on both sides of me.
One is very young, its her first. Already delivered 2 months back. She is already back to work and naturally talking about her baby girl, any chance she gets. She gets on my nerves anyway, she is loud and lacks manners IMO. I am happy for her for the baby, but she is not sensitive to anyone else.

The other is actually my age and nice. She is due in Jan.
I know my journey is different than theirs. But still it hurts sometimes. Maybe I need to look for work somewhere else.

And I am left wondering when to do the next IVF, in January or later? How many more times to try, how much money to spend?

[ladyki]

Sorry to hear about the way that you are feeling. I dont think that you have to look for work somewhere else. The chances are that anywhere you go to work, someone will be pregnant.

I have a coworker, that is younger than me who already has a 7-year old daughter, she has had two abortions and know she is preganant again. I just try to put my best face when I am around her and just keep on praying that I will get a BFP soon.

[wtnganother1]

It's so hard to deal with it all and know what to do and how to make some of these decisions. Some things just take time to let it all sink in and percolate through and to really know what you want to do. And sometimes you just need a break from it all to stand back, evaluate, and go from there. I wouldn't switch jobs because of the coworkers, though, unless you had a better job lined up already. Jobs are hard to come by now, and there will be pregnant women everywhere that you just need to deal with, as hard as that may be. Hang in there. When you need to make a decision about all of the treatments, you will know what to do.

[alliander]

Sending you all my love and prayers. Hang in there. It will be all worth it in the end. And remember, if we have our babys, they will be the most special ones... nobody else will know what this baby will mean to you! Keep this goal in front of you and you'll succeed!

[Jrene]

I know exacly how you feel. My and dh have been trying for on and off for 10yrs. Its to the point now that dh nieces are having babies. One just had a baby and another is pg now. Its a knife to the heart. I try to be happy for them but deep down I can't. The hurt is unbarable.

I feel awful for not being happy for them cause one day it will be my turn. But they've never suffered from IF and don't know the pain and heartache that it brings.

Personally I just burying the feeling and go numb around them. Its the only way I can get thru it.

[latebloom]

Thanks everyone for your replies. it felt good just to vent and connect with others who know how I feel.

Feel free to get in touch with me, anytime you are feeling like having a chat with someone, needing encouragement.

ladyki, I just saw that you are in 2ww, hope everything is going well.

wtnganother1, congtrats you have another one arriving! I know jobs are hard to come by.
The thing is, I am not completely satisfied bu the job situation. I am grateful to have it and I know others would snap it up anytime, I wonder about a better a job.
Its only on few days I feel frustrated, it does not feel good, when others make comments like. 'Oh, you don't have children, then you don't have to worry about schools and daycares, etc.'

And I am a private person, I don't feel like discussing my case with them.

[latebloom]

Thank ypu alliander, you are so right.
when we have babies, they would be so special.

Originally Posted by alliander

Sending you all my love and prayers. Hang in there. It will be all worth it in the end. And remember, if we have our babys, they will be the most special ones... nobody else will know what this baby will mean to you! Keep this goal in front of you and you'll succeed!

[latebloom]

Jrene,

I know. I have been married for 13 years, trying for 8 years.
I know some people got married last year and already expecting.
We are not supposed to have it easy like them and they don't understand it.

I only started seeing a specialist 4 years ago, that is when I was diagnosed with pcos. With diet and supplemets I think the PCOS is under control. I am not even taking metformin.

This year when doing IVF I started thyroid medication at low dose, and its been easy for me to keep the weight off.

Last 2 years I have also been doing acupuncture. Don't know, how much it helped, but my numbers are very good. And I am happy for that.

I turned 38 yesterday and I hope I become a mother before I become 40.

Originally Posted by Jrene

I know exacly how you feel. My and dh have been trying for on and off for 10yrs. Its to the point now that dh nieces are having babies. One just had a baby and another is pg now. Its a knife to the heart. I try to be happy for them but deep down I can't. The hurt is unbarable.

Personally I just burying the feeling and go numb around them. Its the only way I can get thru it.

[wtnganother1]

Latebloom-

We were trying for #2 for 7 years. You try for so long that you start to get pretty skeptical that it will ever happen. And yet the desire is so strong you can't deny it. At one point, we were seriously thinking about turning to adoption. At least if the IF treatments didn't work out, we'd have something else in consideration, esp since adoption can take so long. Maybe you've had such thoughts, too? My first choice was certainly to be pregnant, but we were thinking about adoption and trying to decide if it was for us or not.

As for the job, if you don't like your job, then there's nothing wrong with looking around. I wouldn't do it only because of the pregnant coworkers, but that may be just one more thing on your plate. I really hope that your BFP is right around the corner. I read the posts here....so many women have been through so much.....it always gave me the confidence that I could make it through since they had, too.

[Jrene]

Originally Posted by latebloom

Jrene,

I know. I have been married for 13 years, trying for 8 years.
I know some people got married last year and already expecting.
We are not supposed to have it easy like them and they don't understand it.

I only started seeing a specialist 4 years ago, that is when I was diagnosed with pcos. With diet and supplemets I think the PCOS is under control. I am not even taking metformin.

This year when doing IVF I started thyroid medication at low dose, and its been easy for me to keep the weight off.

Last 2 years I have also been doing acupuncture. Don't know, how much it helped, but my numbers are very good. And I am happy for that.

I turned 38 yesterday and I hope I become a mother before I become 40.

Its sooo frustrating! Just the other day, my sil says this to me " sorry I have to ask, so it didnt work,huh?" I wanted to say, well did you get a phone call saying I was PG? well theres your sign! Grrrr....

Im so sick of all the comments and questions. I dont want to talk about it to them. They dont have a clue!

I hope you get to be a mommy by your 40th birthday too! I know thats a important milestone as a woman.

I wanted one by 30, but that aint gonna happen now. Oh well!

[ladyki]

Originally Posted by latebloom

Thanks everyone for your replies. it felt good just to vent and connect with others who know how I feel.

Feel free to get in touch with me, anytime you are feeling like having a chat with someone, needing encouragement.

ladyki, I just saw that you are in 2ww, hope everything is going well.

wtnganother1, congtrats you have another one arriving! I know jobs are hard to come by.
The thing is, I am not completely satisfied bu the job situation. I am grateful to have it and I know others would snap it up anytime, I wonder about a better a job.
Its only on few days I feel frustrated, it does not feel good, when others make comments like. 'Oh, you don't have children, then you don't have to worry about schools and daycares, etc.'

And I am a private person, I don't feel like discussing my case with them.

Thank you for the good wishes. Unfortunantly, it is for me this month. I am taking a break in November and will probably do my next IUI in Dec. If the second IUI does not work I will be moving in to IVF in ealry 2010.

Best wishes to you, hopefully we all get our little miracles for 2010.

[latebloom]

Originally Posted by ladyki

Thank you for the good wishes. Unfortunantly, it is for me this month. I am taking a break in November and will probably do my next IUI in Dec. If the second IUI does not work I will be moving in to IVF in ealry 2010.

Best wishes to you, hopefully we all get our little miracles for 2010.

ladyki, sorry to hear that. you know, I don't even like the term. I hope you get your BFP soon.

If the doctor is recommending IVF, go for IVF. we also tried 4 IUIs, with the hope it will work for us.
But do it only when you feel you are ready.
IF treatments are not easy, that is why these support groups are of so much help.

Good luck to you.

[ladyki]

Originally Posted by latebloom

If the doctor is recommending IVF, go for IVF. we also tried 4 IUIs, with the hope it will work for us.
But do it only when you feel you are ready.
IF treatments are not easy, that is why these support groups are of so much help.

Good luck to you.

Thank you. Since the 1st IUI failed, I am supposed to receive a call from my RE's office this morning to see if the Dr. is still wanting fro me to do one more IUI with more dosage of meds or if I should go directly to IVF. So I guess again I am just playing the waiting game.