[karm]

I made a call today to see a pychiatrist to prescribe antidepressants. All I have been doing lately is crying and being angry. My life has fallen apart and I cant seem to pick up the pieces and put it back together or at least hold it together. I know I cant do IVF or adoption feeling this way. Have any of you gone on antidepressants? Has it helped? Did it help you to feel not so out of control?
-Karyn

[slobin]

Karyn,

I am so sorry that you're feeling this way! I have been there. After 2 plus yrs of IF and m/c I was crying every single day and so consumed with anger at the world and all of the pg women and women with babies/kids, I could barely leave the house. I went on Lexapro about 1 1/2 mos ago and it has made a difference. I have not been crying at all. It still upsets me to see pg women and babies, but not to the extent it did. I don't obsess on it all day like I did before. I even ran into a friend yesterday who had a baby and didn't even cry after! Before I would have cried and obsessed for a week straight!

I was always very against anti depressants before, but I was desperate and tried it and it has helped. Also, I believe that it's harder to get pg when in an acute depressed/anxious state because all of the chemicals in the body are out of whack. Also, some doctors claim that low serotonin (which we usually have with depression) causes poor uterine lining and receptivity, so that was my other reason to go on it. I would strongly recommend starting meds if you are feeling that badly. My plan is to taper off the meds if I do get pg.

Hang in there and let me know how your appt. goes.

Slobin

[einstein]

I'm so sorry you feel this way, Karyn, and I'm sure it's something we all can totally relate to. I wish I'd had antidepressants back when I was going through IF and IVF. I cried a lot. I would well up over commercials on TV!

I'm now on Zoloft and I feel great on it. I even am continuing to take it while we ttc another child -- au naturale. I figure my sanity and mental health is critical during this time and I haven't seen anything bad about ttc while on Zoloft or other meds.

I agree with Slobin -- your mental health when ttc is very important. That could be why you are struggling. I suggest you talk to your dr and have a heart to heart.

[30somethingmom]

I probably needed antidepressants, but never took them. I did have 6 months of therapy to deal with depression and anxiety following my first miscarriage. I also took anti-anxiety meds (Xanax) for a couple of months. What helped me the most, though, was the therapy. I really needed to get all of my feelings out and learn to cope better in general.

I think depression and infertility go hand-in-hand. Even after the therapy, I still found myself sad and depressed a lot because I wanted to be a mom so badly. The important thing is to find a way for your feelings not to interfere with your daily functioning. Therapy and antidepressants may be a good solution for you.

I hope you feel better soon and can focus your energy on becoming a mom -- whether through IVF or adoption.

Good luck to you,

[karm]

Than you all for your support and sharing your struggle. I have finally have made some descisions with my DH. I have postponed the surgery to have my polyp removed and we are just putting everything on hold until I get on a antidepressant. When I'm in a better state of mind I can then figure out what to do next. I feel a weight has been lifted off of my chest.
-Karyn

[30somethingmom]

Karyn,
That sounds like a good plan. I'm so glad you are feeling somewhat better and have talked things over with your DH.
Please feel free to lean on us anytime you need someone to talk to.

So, when is your appointment with the doctor?

Take care,

[karm]

Thanks for being here for me to lean on. I'm lucky to have a wonderful DH who is supporting me through this. I have placed a call to make an appointment and I'm waiting for them to call me back. Hopefully I'll be on something soon.
-Karyn

[slobin]

Karyn,

That is a great decision. We cannot make good decisions when depressed, frazzled and anxious. So it's wise to sit back, collect yourself, start meds and then start fresh when in a calmer state.

I wish you all the best and empathize with this intense struggle!

Slobin

[meremere]

Karyn,
After my third loss I was so depressed hubby called the OBGYN and told him I was not able to even get out of bed. he put me on Sarafim ( a form of prozac approved for pregnancy). I noticed a better reaction to life in general quickly. I also decided to get a part time job to help pass the time so I would get out of the house and feel like I had a purpose. That helped so much. I took myself off of the meds and did well for a time until I lost the next child. I am back on it now and it is starting to help again. I am also starting to reach out for help, I start a therapy next week and found this place just this week. The few threads I have made here have made me realize I am not alone in this pain. If I have learned anything durring this 2 year nighmare is find people you can talk to that is not just your family, there is only so much that they can tell you but in time I personally felt that I was only talking about the loss or the conversation turned to that again. I like having somewhere I can go that others feel the same pain, I can get the feelings out and move on to have a day that other things happen to me other then the feelings of loss.

[karm]

Meremere, Thanks for sharing your story I can relate in so many ways.
Slobin, Thanks for the support! It really helps!

I think having a safe place to go to is important. I actually joined a support group last summer in my city. We met once a week for 3 months. Now we email and get together once a month. It really has helped to have that contact with other women who are in the same place as yourself. Family and friends try to be supportive but they just dont get how infertility destroys your life. Being able to go to this group online and having my support group has been what has gotten me through all of this.
-Karyn