[tmagikal1]

Hi, I have a question. Some of you might remember I came on here about a month ago, to ask a question as to how I could support my bf throught her infertility. Well considering today was mother's day, and it had been a month and a half that she'd lost her pregnancy/fertility I gave her a card after church-which simply said that -while the world was celebrating mothers, and it may feel like her plight was a distant memory, that I wanted her to know that she wasn't forgotten, and I had faith that one day she would be blessed with the gift of motherhood. I also included a gift certificate to starbucks, and told her to take some "you" time and have one on me. When I gave it to her, I told her she might want to wait a bit to open it, just in case.

A few hours later, I asked if she'd had opened the card, and she said yes, but she didnt want to get into it b/c she'd get emotional. She said that when she opened it, she was driving and had stopped at a stop sign, and that she cried and was a mess. I said I was sorry, and that I had thought about whether I should have or shouldnt have given it to her, but then she said, no, it was ok, and she really appreciated me doing that.

I'm not sure how to take her response. I wanted to let her know that I care and am praying for her, but I don't know if I crossed a line that I shouldnt have by bringing up the topic.

[KELLIF4]

You are being really thoughtful, caring enough to try and see what your friend is going through !
I think Infertility is just really touchy all around and sometime's things just hit people a certain way ... right or wrong
I would say all you can do is continue to be supportive

[babydance143]

What a great friend you are!! so thoughtfull!! I am crying reading the post!!! that was so great!!! U did the right thing, and I just wanted to give you a e-hug for being such a good friend. When we walk through our journe of IF, its so important we have important people in our lives like you.

[ara79]

your friend is very blessed to have you. her reaction was honest...it still hurts her so bad, but she appreciates you and what you did to remind her that she is not forgotten. i wish everyone had a friend like you.

[ARoberts26]

Your post made me cry. What an incredibly thoughtful gift. As someone who is going through what your friend is going through I can say that your card was very likely much appreciated despite the fact that it stirred so much emotion. Everyone should have a friend who is so sensitive to their situation.

[cathie]

You did a realy nice thing you did ! I wish I had a friend like you ! But I'll tell you that me that have infertilty problems and I cry at the drop of a pin so I would not take it to heart you have done a great job as a friend !!

[Teagan873]

Wow Daphnee...that was very sweet and you really are an amazing friend I just looked at your profile to get your name and saw the reason for you joining this forum "I'm trying to learn as much about infertility because a close and dear friend of mine is dealing with this sensitive and heartbreaking issue." I really wish I had a friend like you while going through the ups and downs of IF.

By no means at all should you feel guilty about being supportive to her...we sometimes lose it and let our emotions get the best of us. I can guarantee you that the gesture is truly appreciated (when we get a handle of ourselves after a good cry).

Keep being the great, supportive friend that you are...she will look back and cherish you for that

[CryingInside]

I think you are just amazing. I'm sure that it is still a very sensitive issue for your friend, but that she was sincere when she said that she appreciates it. I appreciate it and I wasn't even there! I completely wish that I and everyone else on this forum had a friend as wonderful as you!

[hopeless?]

Many times when your going through this heartbreaking issue you don't want people to bring it up in the case you weren't thinking about it at that time. However, there's no way around thinking about it on Mother's day. I think what you did was GREAT! You recognized her on the day that hurts the most! You are a great friend!

[scrappyqban]

You are an amazing friend. She really is truly blessed to have you in her life. Continue to support her. She will need all the love and support that can be offered.
BRAVO!!!

[tmagikal1]

Wow…I guess I came in here wanting some affirmation that what I’d done was the right thing…the fact is that whether it was right or wrong, I can overwhelmingly see by reading these post, that IF stinks and it hurts. While I can’t understand the pain of IF, I understand the sentiment of having to suffer through a day you feel is thrown in your face, from which you can’t hide. I’ve had a similar struggle with a particular fabricated holiday--I wish all of you to have suffered through you last mother’s day as a non-mother andI pray for the unconditional love and support from those around you.

[mmmcl]

I think you are a amazing friend. I don't see how your friend could not appreciate such a sweet and sincere gesture. Does she know that you have joined this board to better understand what she is going though?

[tmagikal1]

Originally Posted by mmmcl

I think you are a amazing friend. I don't see how your friend could not appreciate such a sweet and sincere gesture. Does she know that you have joined this board to better understand what she is going though?

Sorry to bring this thread back up, but I wanted to answer your question. I have referred her here, but I haven’t told her I joined and posted on the site to find out what she is going through, although, it would probably be hard to hide that now, lol! Quite honestly, I know a lot of you have stated how good of a friend I am, but the truth is…this sucks, and I’d rather the situation not be there at all. However, being that it is what it is, and she is my best friend, I figure I’d prepare myself to help her, whenever she needs it, and what better way than to talk to those who are going through it. To me, it seems as the natural thing to do, I can’t pretend to understand or know about something I’ve never gone through. It might seem strange, but we are called to carry each other’s burden…and if understanding is the best I can do, I have to try and be my best at it…

[Neta]

Originally Posted by tmagikal1

Hi, I have a question. Some of you might remember I came on here about a month ago, to ask a question as to how I could support my bf throught her infertility. Well considering today was mother's day, and it had been a month and a half that she'd lost her pregnancy/fertility I gave her a card after church-which simply said that -while the world was celebrating mothers, and it may feel like her plight was a distant memory, that I wanted her to know that she wasn't forgotten, and I had faith that one day she would be blessed with the gift of motherhood. I also included a gift certificate to starbucks, and told her to take some "you" time and have one on me. When I gave it to her, I told her she might want to wait a bit to open it, just in case.

A few hours later, I asked if she'd had opened the card, and she said yes, but she didnt want to get into it b/c she'd get emotional. She said that when she opened it, she was driving and had stopped at a stop sign, and that she cried and was a mess. I said I was sorry, and that I had thought about whether I should have or shouldnt have given it to her, but then she said, no, it was ok, and she really appreciated me doing that.

I'm not sure how to take her response. I wanted to let her know that I care and am praying for her, but I don't know if I crossed a line that I shouldnt have by bringing up the topic.

Tamajikal,
that was so thoughtful. a few years ago I had a ectopic pregnancy and iyt was right before mothers day, of course I waited until the last minute to stop the pregnancy but afterwards I was a mess I had to take 2 weeks off. My friend had put a mothers day card and a rose on my desk and when I returned to work I bohooed like a baby. It was the most thoughtful and beautifullest thing in the world, the words were so encouraging.