[marilynn]

Hi everyone,
I just got a bfn on a hpt. My doc thought I may have had a chance bc I got pg earlier this year with IUI and injectibles. My husband left yesterday to set up our household in Singapore. So, I am alone. Can't get in touch with him and very sad. Closing down house to move. This really really really sucks. We have been trying since we got married 5 1/2 years ago.

The worst worst part is the feeling of sadness that I have for my husband because he has always wanted children as much as I have. I can (almost) deal with my own sadness, but that I cannot have a baby for him just breaks my heart. Anyway, I just needed to get it off my shoulders a bit. Thanks.

[parker john]

i am so sorry for your bfn ... i'm sure it's so frustrating to try for so many years and still no success .... my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband

[AmyK]

Marilynn...I am so sorry. What day piui are you? I understand how you feel...we have been trying since we got married (7 years ago tomorrow). IF sucks.

I am sorry you are alone there. I hope you have some help with closing out the house. Good luck on your move. May your new home bring you a fresh perspective and new choices. Keep us posted.

[fairiedusst]

Hi Marilynn...so sorry to hear about your bfn. I completely understand the emotions you are going through with not having your DH there. My DH is almost halfway into a 6 month deployment and I am still doing IUIs while he is gone. It's tough! If you ever need to vent or cry or laugh about it, let me know!

[ally]

I'm so sorry to hear about your bfn and that DH is not with you at this time.
I just had my 7th BFN from an IUI and I understand (as we all do) how heartbreaking it is.
Go out and treat yourself to a manicure / pedicure. I won't fix things but it might take your mind of things and I've always found it helps to treat myself after a bfn.
Good luck to you, I hope next month is your month.

[alisa]

Hi Marilynn,

So sorry about your bfn...no matter how ok you are, its always hard to see that neg. I understand that its twofold with the feelings about DH - I've been there myself - know that he loves you no matter where life takes you. Sorry we can't physically be there but we are all thinking of you. Good luck and take care you of yourself.

[sarah16]

BFNs suck no matter what. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[nething4mybaby]

Hi Marilynn,
I understand your sadness. In Sept 07 we lost a baby to an ectopic pregnancy and I too felt so bad for my DH. I really want to give him his own baby. He is a wonderful step dad to my two older ds+dd.
You hang in there. There are so many women on here that tried for many many years until they got their bfp. But they did it and you will too.

[marilynn]

Hi Ladies,
Thank you so much for the support. It really helps a lot. I'm feeling better today. Yesterday was a bummer. I was missing my dh.

Fairiedusst, I think it is really great that you are trying to get pg from iui while your dh is deployed. I imagine that takes some strength to do.

[fairiedusst]

Glad you are feeling better! I've been to Singapore, it is a very cool place. Is this your first time there? Stay away from Tiger Beer....I know from experience

Strength, yes, but it also involves a VERY strong marriage...and a sense of humor. For example, if this happens to be my month, and DH happens to get home as scheduled (which you would know almost never happens these days if you habitually watch the news), then I would be approximately 3 months pregnant when he came home from a 6 month deployment. That raises some questions to put it lightly. Luckily, I am married to my soulmate and we have a trust in each other like no other.

I would have liked to not have to have a complicated birds and bees talk with my child, but I don't want to hide anything and have him find out later that Daddy wasn't home when Mommy conceived and wonder if DH is really his Dad. So I'm thinking it will go something like this...."When a man and a woman love each other very much, they go to a sperm bank and make a deposit. Then the man goes off to fight a war, and the woman goes to the doctor every other day until she makes a baby." Or something like that. LOL, guess I've got a few years to decide what the plan is going to be for that.

[frymomma2b]

I am so sorry to hear about this. I am sure with the love yall have to give there will be a way for you to have children. I know what ou mean about being able to deal with your pain but not you dh's. I get that way when my dh gets really excited about a cycle i am most get upset that he has so much hope becuase i dont want to let him down but they get through it just like we do. I know your time will come some way. best wishes for you