[fairiedusst]

Ok, so I got my period on the fourth. I was cranky to put it nicely As I'm sure you're all well aware of, my hubby is on deployment. My family lives on the other side of the country, so off to the in-laws I go for major holidays.

So I'm sitting on the porch at my brother-in-law's house watching everyone get drunk, and my mother-in-law is holding one of the little dogs in her lap. Then she says, "I guess I'm not having any more grandkids, just grand-dogs."

WTF??? She is one of those people that will tell me to just relax, and it will happen. I have tried to explain to her time and time again that I have an actual diagnosed MEDICAL PROBLEM, and relaxing is not going to make it go away. Yeah, she started poppin out kids at the tender age of 19 and got pregnant everytime she went off BCPs, but NOT EVERYONE is like that!! I feel that she implies that I am not good enough for her son because of my infertility.

Any of you ladies have similar problems with the M-I-L? Would love to hear your stories and how you handled it.

[Meg03]

I am sorry you have to go through that. My MIL was very nice while Dh was deployed (she is still nice most of the time). There are a few times she just wont let off me for something (not not having kids... she pesters her other son's wife about that because she knows with the fertility meds I am on I will not be so nice to her about it). I finally just had to tell her to back off. She was letting me have it over not taking DSD on as many vacations as she took her sons on, how her kids never had a cavity till the got married and DSD has 3 (she is 8. I told her that I will do things in my own time. If it does not work for her she does not need to talk to me about it. She can ignore it.


Good luck with the troubles

[casb77]

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, especially is she knows you have fertility issues. I think you should tell her to shove it.

Can your DH say anything to her to get her to lay off and quit saying rude things? Otherwise I'm sure we can help you come up with a whole list of snarky comebacks, like, 'Yep, looks like you'll be scooping poop instead of changing diapers.'

My MIL has just started saying if we have kids rather than when, anymore. It feels a little like she's given up on us, but at least it's not mean spirited.

Good luck and I hope she lays off soon.

I used to visit this site quite a bit when I was first married: Mother-In-Law Stories and Mother-In-Law Jokes

There's this one too: Granny Dearest Stories | Mother-in-law Hell

[Blia]

I'm sorry to hear about your insensitive MIL...
It is disappointing when you have a MIL like that. I think it really stresses you out more. What did you say to her when she made that remark? I probably would've just cried!! But that's just me. But it does seem like she doesn't want you to be with her son because of your infertility. There are some MIL like that. *sigh*

But I guess I'm lucky *knock-on-wood* My MIL has been supportive with my infertility. Even though she has ten grandkids (including my husband's son from his previous relationoship), she is still awaiting her grandkid(s) from me because she wants my DH and me to have one of our own kids too...

I'll be praying and hoping that you get pregnant soon. Well, probably when your DH comes back home!!!

[ladymcneill1104]

I have one of those MIL. When I got pg with my DD mind you I had IF issues for years and did not think I would get pg. She told DH I got pg on purpose to trap him. She also said I lied to him about everything. When I told her that I did have IF issues and that my DD maybe the only one we have she said all nasty to well what did you do BD (insert cuss word there) like rabbits. My DH told her recently that we are trying for a baby. We didnt mention the IF and the first thing she said so soon and make sure you pray because it will happen when it happens just relax. He responded back kinda snotty well we have been praying for 2 years and that isnt working. He found out his s/a results that day so I think he was taking it out on her. I absolutely loved that. I can tell you some stories about that women that would make your hair stand.

[staceyj1]

I understand completely!! My MIL was ok at first when my hubby was deployed. But as time went on, watch out!! I remember the day he came home and she was screaming into a phone with his brother when the plane landed. I mean SCREAMING!!! I just wanted to take the moment in, but I sure couldn't with her mouth going. She was giving my brother in law a play by play for every second....."the plane's landed, they've opened the door, the first guy is coming out, etc..." We haven't even told her about our IF problems. I'm sure she would just say "just relax." I think it's just better that she doesn't know.

I feel for you!!!

[fairiedusst]

Originally Posted by staceyj1

I understand completely!! My MIL was ok at first when my hubby was deployed. But as time went on, watch out!! I remember the day he came home and she was screaming into a phone with his brother when the plane landed. I mean SCREAMING!!! I just wanted to take the moment in, but I sure couldn't with her mouth going. She was giving my brother in law a play by play for every second....."the plane's landed, they've opened the door, the first guy is coming out, etc..." We haven't even told her about our IF problems. I'm sure she would just say "just relax." I think it's just better that she doesn't know.

I feel for you!!!

Hehehe, how bout this one...when DH made CPO... It is a major advancement, and they have a ceremony and stuff, and the whole family came down for it. 6 weeks of utter hell they put these guys through, and the night before the ceremony, they're not allowed to come home. So I am walking though the ship on ceremony day about an hour before it was due to start with MIL and and ELEVEN other family members, and she is WHINING, "Where's Steve, why can't I see Steve?" 54 years old! And then after the ceremony, she seriously PUSHED me out of the way to get to him first. She may have given birth to him, but I was the one that took care of him and kept him sane and did all the little things for him through the indoctrination period. She also promised to take pictures for me since I forgot my camera. One of the most important days of our lives, and I'm in 2 pictures out of about 150, one being a group photo.

[fairiedusst]

Originally Posted by casb77

Sorry your MIL is so insensitive, especially is she knows you have fertility issues. I think you should tell her to shove it.

Can your DH say anything to her to get her to lay off and quit saying rude things? Otherwise I'm sure we can help you come up with a whole list of snarky comebacks, like, 'Yep, looks like you'll be scooping poop instead of changing diapers.'

My MIL has just started saying if we have kids rather than when, anymore. It feels a little like she's given up on us, but at least it's not mean spirited.

Good luck and I hope she lays off soon.

I used to visit this site quite a bit when I was first married: Mother-In-Law Stories and Mother-In-Law Jokes

There's this one too: Granny Dearest Stories | Mother-in-law Hell

Scooping poop instead of diapers, I love it! I have been thinking of all the things I should have/could have said, but I was sad, not mad at the time. I think the statute of limitations has run out on this one, but I'm sure there will be more opportunities on the road ahead. Those sites are great, thanks!

[Orzo146]

Hey Jess!!!!!! Do we have the same MIL????? LOL

Yes I get sarcastic comments from mine as well. It is like a big fat WTF!!! We are doing all we can do!!!!

Needless to say, we started our first round of Clomid/IUI and she does not know. We have only told a few people...because it woudl just be super crazy, as you probably know, if she knew.

Anywho! Best wished to you!!!!!

[fairiedusst]

Yes, I would definitely suggest NOT telling the MIL if you can help it. I can't take it back but I wish I could.

And now, guess what? She just now invited herself to my house (2 hours south) for 4 days to help me pack. It's bad enough that I have to stay with her for a few weeks because my close of escrow dates don't match between my sale and purchase. This is supposed to be my last week of freedom! I will be in the middle of my Follistim cycle while she's here, so I can only imagine what my tongue-biting ability is going to be. She "doesn't drive on the freeway", so once she comes back with me, she's here till the end. And I wanted to just leave my dog at her house when I go up there for the home inspection. But she won't have that. It's her grand-dog, and she is going to miss her. She insists that she is able to watch my dog while we are loading the moving truck. My dog is awesome, but she is a whiner and a runner, and it's just best not to have her here in that kind of situation. She stayed up there the last time we moved. I swear, if she gets out and gets hit by a car I'm going to run the MIL over. How did my wonderful DH come from this crazy woman???