[tygerlilly]

Originally Posted by nelly1

tygerlilly, if you don't mind me asking, was you and your DH infertility strictly male factor?

BTW, I love how you've named them "blip" and "speck"! TOO CUTE!


lisa_kev, thanks so much for posting your story.
Cancer at the age of 3 sound so scary! Your DH sounds like a wonderful man. Going through this I have come to realized what a truly loving and selfless man my husband is. He actually told me he would understand if I felt like I needed to leave him (WHAT???) because he "failed" me.

Good luck to you with IVF. I'm going to look into Xytex too. We've pretty much decided on our donor, but the sperm is $490/vial and we want to buy enough to be able to have 2 children. $4000 is a lot of money to spend on just the sperm...Also I noticed you are doing IVF w/ICSI. How did you decide on doing ICSI? was it just to get the best possible chance? I just thought typically with donor sperm you wouldn't need ICSI.

Yes, my DH had cancer as a child, and had a kidney removed when he was 3 or 4 years old. Then when we went to see a fertility specialist they found an benign tumor on his left testicle, so that was removed as well. They think I may have PCOS, but they are not positive.

They got speck from me, and blip from my sister lol because of the transfer ultrasound below lol. When you say blip n speck really quick it sounds like it is a german name lol.

[lisa_kev]

Originally Posted by nelly1

lisa_kev, thanks so much for posting your story.
Cancer at the age of 3 sound so scary! Your DH sounds like a wonderful man. Going through this I have come to realized what a truly loving and selfless man my husband is. He actually told me he would understand if I felt like I needed to leave him (WHAT???) because he "failed" me.

Good luck to you with IVF. I'm going to look into Xytex too. We've pretty much decided on our donor, but the sperm is $490/vial and we want to buy enough to be able to have 2 children. $4000 is a lot of money to spend on just the sperm...Also I noticed you are doing IVF w/ICSI. How did you decide on doing ICSI? was it just to get the best possible chance? I just thought typically with donor sperm you wouldn't need ICSI.

Nelly1-

Our fertility clinic will only do ICSI when using donor sperm. Yes, we want the best possible chance, but were not given the option. It was about $600 more so we figured it was worth it.

One more thing you might want to keep in mind is most sperm banks won't accept sperm back into their system after it's been shipped. I hope your 1st IUI is successful! Thank you for your kind words. Best of luck to you.

[Sadie987]

Nelly, so happy that you started this thread! I enjoy mostly lurking on the azoo board but even though I’m happy for them, it still makes me sad when I see someone with a success story without needing to resort to donor sperm or adoption or something.
My DH and I received the SCO dx back in 11/08 after a failed tese but were given hope for success with mtese. No such luck. It’s ironic up until that last failed mtese in the beginning of June, DH was DEAD SET AGAINST using ds. That was just about 3 months ago and we already have 6 vials of ds on hold at the cryo back. He is still apprehensive about the bonding issue, and still wishes he could have a bio child, but he’s such a sweet loving guy I know he will be a wonderful father to whatever child we have, bio or not. I wish we could start right away, but I compromised with DH to start in January.
We ordered 6 vials because our donor is in demand and his personality, looks and interests are so much like DH’s they could be brothers. I’m actually thinking we should get a couple more because our clinic does 2 inseminations each round which means we only have 3 tries to conceive and carry to term. That makes me really nervous!

[tygerlilly]

Originally Posted by Sadie987

Nelly, so happy that you started this thread! I enjoy mostly lurking on the azoo board but even though I’m happy for them, it still makes me sad when I see someone with a success story without needing to resort to donor sperm or adoption or something.
My DH and I received the SCO dx back in 11/08 after a failed tese but were given hope for success with mtese. No such luck. It’s ironic up until that last failed mtese in the beginning of June, DH was DEAD SET AGAINST using ds. That was just about 3 months ago and we already have 6 vials of ds on hold at the cryo back. He is still apprehensive about the bonding issue, and still wishes he could have a bio child, but he’s such a sweet loving guy I know he will be a wonderful father to whatever child we have, bio or not. I wish we could start right away, but I compromised with DH to start in January.
We ordered 6 vials because our donor is in demand and his personality, looks and interests are so much like DH’s they could be brothers. I’m actually thinking we should get a couple more because our clinic does 2 inseminations each round which means we only have 3 tries to conceive and carry to term. That makes me really nervous!

I am giggleing to myself thinking that people are "popular" at a sperm bank hehe You will be fine!!!! Have you tried one insemination per round?

[Sadie987]

I know, it is funny to think about it that way. I think he’s so popular because he’s one of very few that have his Portuguese ethnicity. I’ve looked at countless sperm banks across america and only 20 are even part Portuguese and only 2 are full. Plus, he really does seem like he’s a great guy and he already has a confirmed pregnancy so I know his stuff works!
We haven’t even tried one IUI yet, we are waiting for January. Maybe I will have her only use one the 1st couple of times and then do the double if that doesn’t work.

[tygerlilly]

Originally Posted by Sadie987

I know, it is funny to think about it that way. I think he’s so popular because he’s one of very few that have his Portuguese ethnicity. I’ve looked at countless sperm banks across america and only 20 are even part Portuguese and only 2 are full. Plus, he really does seem like he’s a great guy and he already has a confirmed pregnancy so I know his stuff works!
We haven’t even tried one IUI yet, we are waiting for January. Maybe I will have her only use one the 1st couple of times and then do the double if that doesn’t work.

I think that sounds like a better plan, I have seen several girls that have gone that route and have had success.

You think portuguese was hard? Nick is Polish lol... not too many of them running around lol. Unfortunatly we couldn't find any polish donors, so since he is also part german we picked a german donor (easier to find lol) and one that matched me more (Scotttish Irish German and American Indian). I am easier to pair with aparently lol.

Our DS was actually a perfect match to Nicks personality and traits though. Right down to having the same college degree! We are very comforrtable with our choice .

ALSO I have read somewhere on here someone contacted their sperm bank after their first IVF and wanted to use the same donor, but they were out. The bank contacted the donor, and they were able to have him donate more! This costed them an additional $200 but it may be cheaper than paying for freezing!

[Greg'slady]

My husband and I have been TTC for 5 years. We have been through some major heartache during the process. No ever! We were misdiagnosed for 2 years. I think it's because I am a big girl so the Gyn assumed I had PCOS. I don't!

After 2 years of regular periods, metformin, dieting (yo-yo dieting!), and me being in a deep depression, we went to the 1st fertility clinic. They did all kinds of tests on me and all came back normal. They also did a SA. Um, BINGO! My dh had 2 million. VERY low! So, this clinic told us the only way to concieve was IVF! (go figure, it was an IVF clinic!) We were devastated! We are not well to do. We live paycheck to paycheck with very little left over. So, we started saving. We did some traveling, which I think made our marriage so much stronger!

About 3 months ago, my mil gave me info on the clinic she referrs her patients to. She works at an OB. They offered a "free consultation" so we were like, what's to lose? We went and were blown away at the fact that the 1st Dr. didn't even offer IUI! We also were told we could try with dh's sperm but we may have to use donor. We were ok with this. We want a baby. We had 2 choices, use donor and have it be my biological child or adopt. We really just wanted a child! So, dh who is the BEST I could ever have dreamed of, told me, "Why wouldn't we do it! It's all good! LET'S HAVE A BABY!"

Dh had another SA just to check and his sperm were all messed up and only 2 million again. We decided that if we were going to spend all of our money we wanted good sperm count numbers!

We found out we are having a baby! It worked! I am so excited about it I can't even stand it!

My husband is also very happy! He was so excited he called everyone we know!

Can't wait to read the other donor stories, great idea!

[tomekwa]

You guys are way too funny here. Not that the topic is funny but talking about popularity and matching our DH with a DS, it's a very hard job and I had the hardest time.

Sadie987 - I did notice a lack of Portuguese donors. I'm from Brazil (so I'm partly portuguese) and I know what you mean. Now I'll have to go back and look at the Portuguese and Brazilian donors.

tygerlilly - OMG!!! My DH is also Polish!! As I said, it was SUPER hard to chose a donor for me. I was feeling super overwhelmed. To make matters "worse" my DH is super tall, he's 6'7 and I was trying to match that. NOT EASY!
Thankfully DH steped up and he chose our donor. We both had a pick and we chose his ds choice since he was confortable with that. Our DS was also German.

[tygerlilly]

Originally Posted by tomekwa

You guys are way too funny here. Not that the topic is funny but talking about popularity and matching our DH with a DS, it's a very hard job and I had the hardest time.

Sadie987 - I did notice a lack of Portuguese donors. I'm from Brazil (so I'm partly portuguese) and I know what you mean. Now I'll have to go back and look at the Portuguese and Brazilian donors.

tygerlilly - OMG!!! My DH is also Polish!! As I said, it was SUPER hard to chose a donor for me. I was feeling super overwhelmed. To make matters "worse" my DH is super tall, he's 6'7 and I was trying to match that. NOT EASY!
Thankfully DH steped up and he chose our donor. We both had a pick and we chose his ds choice since he was confortable with that. Our DS was also German.

That is TOO funny!!! Nick was supposed to be tall, but his chemo stunted his growth so we picked a tall donor lol. Wouldn't it be funny if we took the same donor lol.

[nelly1]

I'm so happy to hear that there are more ladies out there like me in the same place!!

Sadie, it sounds like we are in very similar places. The waiting is really rough, isn't it?? If it were up to me I'd start my IUI today! Will you be doing the IUI with clomid? I'm still torn about whether to start a natural cycle of IUI or just go with Clomid. So many decisions! Oh, and I agree that you should start with one vial at a time. I think there have been studies done confirming that back to back IUIs don't result in a higher pregnancy percentage.

Greg's Lady, CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!! It is always fantastic to hear when it works out! It gives the rest of us HOPE!! I'm posing the same question for you...did you do a medicated IUI?

Luckily my DH is caucasian, blue eyes, dark blonde hair so we have a lot of donors to choose from

I think we've settled on one, now we just have to pull the trigger and purchase.

Tygerlilly, as far as donors "running out" of inventory (LOL)...we're using CA Cryobank and they are also willing to contact retired donors on behalf of couples. However, they charge $1500 just for the initial contact, then charge you for all the bloodwork/tests and then on top of that you have to purchase the vials. It is a really expensive option...oh, and you have to wait 6 months for the samples to clear quarantine and the like...

That's why I'm nervous about not buying enough. We really want 2 children, and it would be ideal for the two of them at least to have the same DNA.

[nelly1]

Also ladies, how important was matching a donor's Blood Type to your partners/husband?

[Sadie987]

DH and I are both O-, and it was important for me to find someone O- in the beginning, because if we have anything besides an O- baby, you would know immediately that he/she wasn’t ours. But, our donor is O+, so there is a slight chance that our baby could end up being O- if one the donor’s parents is O-. If we picked someone who was any of the A’s or B’s our child couldn’t possibly be O- because 2 O- parents can only have an O- baby. 2 O's can only have O's in general no matter what the RH. Nice little biology lesson for you. J
I will have to get that RH shot in the 3rd(?) trimester if I do get pregnant with this donor so my body won’t reject any future pregnancies from an RH + donor. Luckily no matter what, the baby will be able to get blood from either of us no matter what because we are both universal donors!

[Greg'slady]

nelly1: I used Clomid and the Ovidrel trigger shot. We didn't have to use anything else, thankfully! My family members are all very fertile and I am assuming so am I. If we didn't have sperm issues I think DH and I would have 3 or 4 kids by now! I do think that we are going to appreciate this baby and cherish and love it so so much because of all that we have been through!

We wanted to find a donor that was blood compatible to either of us. There was a chart that we used that showed us which blood types could be produced by Dh & my blood types. We really didn't stress too much about picking a donor, though. Genetics are so random that the guy could look like my husband to a T but ove the genetics mix with mine who knows what will happen?!?!?

I have a really personal question for all of you... Are you going to tell your child-to-be that they are from donor sperm? We are doing a lot of reading and we have decided that we will tell the baby. All along though, not one day when they are 18 or whatever. There are wonderful books to read to them at each age range as well that will help them understand it. I think the more normal you make it the more normal it will be.

I am very curious to see what the response is to this.

Good luck all and to you!

[nelly1]

Alicia, God willing that we have a child through donor sperm, we will tell the child for sure. We haven't figured out the details of how/when to tell...we just know we will tell.

I honestly believe keeping a secret like that is too big of a burden to hold, and feel like it would be dishonest not to tell. If/when the time comes, we will tell the child and he/she will have the option of who to tell...we will not make that decision for them by telling all of our friends and family (although a select few family members know).

I understand it is a very personal decision on whether to tell/not to tell, but it is pretty clear cut for us.

I guess that's why we're not really stressing about the blood type of the donor, but trying to match other physical characteristics better.

[deanie]

DH and I have been trying off and one since last March and due to his azoo, we're also using donor sperm. We tried 3 goes with one donor, but he up and retired, and then got a new donor once we moved and got briefly pg but lost it early. We used Cryolab and they've been really good with donor searches and shipping. We used a photo match for DH and they came back with 6 possible matches, pretty good! The price is okay, no complaints.

After so many IUI's w/ds and things haven't been too great, going back to the doctor to see what the next plan should be.

But good luck!!