[bistro]

I can't even seem to post a simple status update without someone telling me SOMETHING about pregnancy or having kids!

I have stopped posting anything about migraines because I got a whole slew of: "just get pregnant! They will go away!" "I had that problem until I got pregnant".

Now, apparently I have to stop posting things about sleep, lack of sleep, being tired, etc. When I complained that I was not able to sleep in this morning, I got "oh just wait till you have kids and you will never sleep again!"

I know people don't know, but it's so **** ANNOYING.

OK - vent done.

[charlie'smom]

Originally Posted by bistro

I can't even seem to post a simple status update without someone telling me SOMETHING about pregnancy or having kids!

I have stopped posting anything about migraines because I got a whole slew of: "just get pregnant! They will go away!" "I had that problem until I got pregnant".

Now, apparently I have to stop posting things about sleep, lack of sleep, being tired, etc. When I complained that I was not able to sleep in this morning, I got "oh just wait till you have kids and you will never sleep again!"

I know people don't know, but it's so **** ANNOYING.

OK - vent done.

Oh I know...there is nothing worse than coming home from a bad doctors appointment or waking up to have show and then going on Facebook and seeing that everyone and their mother is posting pictures of their kids! GRRRRR you just kind of feel like they are rubbing it in...even when you know they have no idea what you are going through!

[vangel34]

It's just as bad for us secondary infertility girls. I went to a pampered chef party and my sisters friend asked when I was going to spit another one out. I just sat there not knowing what to say. My mom just kinda looked at me with a pained expression, I just recently told her we were having trouble in that department, I didn't tell her it's been two years.

Not to be making excuses for other people but you just kinda have to know that they take for granted their fertility, they're ignorant to our world and the things we have to struggle with. I know when we had DD I never in a million would have thought we'd be going through all of this to have another baby.

I'm just ready for an answer, whether it be yes we can get pregnant (with help) or just knowing that Brittany will be our only child. But at the same time, when someone ask, I don't want to say oh no, no more for us. I don't want them to think that we aren't having more because DD is a handful when in fact she isn't. Because of how great she is we're inspired to keep trying, I know she wants a sibling.

I hope I didn't hurt you more by talking about DD. Please hang in there and do your best to ignore the comments, although I know that no matter how hard you try to be tough about it, it still gets to you when you least expect it.

[Vanna]

It is so frustrating and I feel like nobody understands unless they've been in this position themselves. They just don't get it....

[InspiredbyHannah]

Oh I hear ya! I find myself posting very bland, neutral things. Otherwise people either get very nosy or opinionated. And everytime I turn around another friend is posting they're newborns first Halloween pictures or pictures from the hospital. It's so draining. But, the sick part is I always find myself looking at them! It's a vicious cycle!! Lol.

[Schell1978]

I hear ya Bistro! Just the other day I posted something about forgetting what I was doing, one girl then posted "I forgot everything when I was pregnant," then all of the sudden….I was pregnant and every other comment after that was "Krista is pregnant!" I got so mad….and said "just because I forget something does not mean I am pregnant!!!" People don't understand how much they hurt you when they make comments like "you and your husband are a beautiful couple, when are you going to have kids?!" It's constant!! Then, on top of that…..people are constantly posting "their good news." How in the world are all these girls so fertile…and I can't get knocked up to save my life?!

I also have to remember that people don't understand unless they've been there. But, it's hard not to get mad….in fact, I deleted every comment anyone made on my pictures about how cute hubby and I are and why don't we have kids, or "Krista is the only person in that picture with no kids" (yes, I got that one, I'm not kidding.) I think people are finally starting to catch a hint.

Okay…..that was my vent….

[comeonbaby]

OMG. I am so glad I am not the only person who is annoyed at FB from time to time.
I have removed updates from some friends because they are just too hurtful. One friend knows I am going thru this, and she got pg with #1 the very 1st time they tried, and now posts a daily update from her online pg group. So her updates are removed...
I can deal with the photo posts and such, but when ALL I hear from some is how until you have a child, you have no idea about blah blah blah... It's really difficult to read.

[bistro]

vangel - don't be silly! EVERYONE with IF suffers, whether they are waiting for their first or third (OK, I'll admit it, if Michelle Duggar were on these boards, I'd be a little ticked). I have a good friend who went through secondary infertility and it is still painful for her to talk about. However, she does have a beautiful baby boy through IVF!! Good luck to you!

I know that no one knows what I'm going through, but it still hurts.

schell - I cannot believe that crazy comment! I would have punched the computer!! So insensitive!

comeonbaby - I erased only one comment I made to someone, and it was a big one. My BIL's GF is pregnant and I posted how excited I was to be an aunt. Until, that is, that I found out that she said, "you guys better not get pregnant till after my baby is born!". I erased that comment real quick! I will not take it out on the baby when it comes, but I refuse to be anything but cold to that WITCH from now on!!!

[shutterbuglaurel]

Oh Bistro, I know how you feel. I have stopped talking with 3 different friends over this. Shockingly they all have 4 or more children, and can't relate in the least bit to IF and make stupid *** comments. I've hidden all 3 of them on FB. They try to IM me I just decline it so I don't have to deal with anymore of their ridiculous coments. I can sympathize with you, in regards to having your FB post being hijacked. I posted we would be going through a fertility treatment and I would not be on for a while. Then ******* #1-commented "your hubby will be having fun doing the baby making dance"...WTF! I responded with how uncool that comment was, and neither of us would be having fun, IT'S A MEDICAL TREATMENT. ******* #2 then started asking how much we were spending to do IF treatments and why aren't you just letting nature take it's course. My response was "We are finacially able to pay for IF treatments and it is very important to us to try everything possiable to have a baby." I very pointedly asked her why they were having another baby(#6) if they could not even afford the copay for the prenatal apt.'s or birth....This went over like a lead balloon. (this ******* is the same one who complains about how horriable it is to be pregnant & even worse how much she dislikes her children...I told her we would be more then willing to adopt 3 of her kids if she really disliked them that much.) Can ya feel my anger towards her??? ******* #3 and I had been privately discussing how hard IF was and what a toll it takes on your relationship both mentally & physically(while we were at lunch). You would imagine my shock when my FB mail and posting were full that next day...She posted on my wall that she had read about a sexual realtionship workshop, that she thought would be good for us to attend...since I was feeling like sex was a job! And how horriable it must be to never complete the job! lol! WTF!!!! REALLY!!! I thought I had this discusion privately with my friend, I DID NOT POST THIS ON MY FB WALL BECAUSE IT WASN'T SOMETHING EVERYONE NEEDED TO KNOW!!!
WHO NEEDS ENIMIES WHEN I HAVE FRIENDS LIKE THESE!!! I should say "HAD"
I've stopped my interactions with all 3 of them...Because if you can't be an adult with compassion or empathy, I sure as hell don't need you in my life. My life is difficult and stressful in it's self dealing with IF, I don't need this high school BS.

Then again maybe it's my angry hormonal over-reaction, if so the IF injections made me do it.

Rant completed! Dismounting the soap box.

We all understand how you feel. Hang in there. Maybe we will need to create our own FB community and stay in our little FB IF world, and just visit the non-infertiles world. What do ya think?

[Chi-mom]

I get really tired of the comments from family or friends that already have children and have no idea what it feels like to deal with IF. I e-mailed the video Tears and Hope to my sister that has 5 children. After she watched it, she callled me and said she had no idea how my husband and I have been suffering over the years. She said she cried all the way through the video and hopes something will work out for us. It has completely changed the way she talks with me about our treatments. It is probably one of the best ways to show the impacts of IF to those that have never experienced it. I got the link off of this forum. tearsandhope.com.

[robandsamduke]

Totally have the same issue! Dont you love when u post something like have a tummy ache and everyone is like oh are u pregnant?! Guess what idiots my stomach can hurt and me not be pregnant!! Stop asking me! ive been trying for three years do they think i wouldnt announce it when i am! geez!!!