[Gemmabean]

Sadly, my 2ww has come to an end with THREE BFNs.
*sigh*

Had my baseline U/S this morning and have a hanger-oner (corpus luteum) on my right ovary so RE wants us to sit out this cycle. Good and bad. He said at my age, he really doesn't think sitting out a cycle will hurt too much. He said my ovaries won't respond properly to the FSH stim. He knows we are on a tight budget.

*sigh*sigh*sigh*

Why is it I feel like I've let you all down? I hate it that I'm not here with terrific news. I hope we here something good from someone this cycle.

Do you ever feel like you are being punished? Like where did I make the wrong decision that made me end up here? Why doesn't "someone" think I'd be a good mom?

I guess, as CreoleInDC would say: it is what it is.

Love to you all,
Julie

[CreoleInDC]

Aw hell Princess. I was pulling for ya BIG TIME. Eat chocolate and drink wine. Good wine. Get the Coppolla Merlot.

[ara79]

i'm so sorry this cycle has ended with a bfn. maybe taking a month off of ttc will be good for you. i don't know how, but maybe a months break from all the tension and stress will let your mind and heart rest for a bit. i know it must seem like you are being punished or that someone may think you won't be a good mom, but that is not true. there is a plan in life, and it is just frustrating when the plan doesn't go our way. it makes it so hard to understand why things are happening the way they are. don't lose hope. i'll be thinking and praying for you~
amy

[AMKD]

Julie,

I'm sorry. No matter which way you slice it - this just sucks.

~AM

[Boston73]

Julie - I'm sorry...that just sucks. I know how your feeling..it's heart breaking to get that BFN after everything you've been thru. I'm soo nervous for my 2nd cycle...I just don't know what to do if this one doesn't work either. Uggh!! Why do we have to go thru this crap!

Do something nice for yourself and please try to hang in there.

Take care

[kapish22]

Oh Julie...i had hoped for a BFP for u...im so sorry...i hope u get a BFP next time...

Kathy

[graci]

I am so sorry to hear that Julie. I was so hoping that you get BFP this cycle. I thought my symptoms were exactly like yours. I have my bloodwork tomorrow and have left without any hopes

[J9yinyang]

I'll bet the dog feels as bad as you do, seeing as she was the one who told you first.

Sorry doesn't help much, but I am sorry.

[Just~A~]

So sorry, sweetie!! It must feel like this:

I had a leftover cyst, too (from the first and second cycles). It was so disappointing to postpone treatment, but your doc is right. I don't want you hurting yourself with the stims!

We'll keep pulling for you. I pray for you all the time.

~A~

[Gemmabean]

Thank you for all your kind posts.

I asked RE what is going wrong, I just don't get it, it there anything else we can do. I asked about my weight, as I have PCOS and am overweight, I wondered if taking a few months off to loose some weight would help our chances. He said the only problem being overweight causes is a lack of ovulation, and we are using stims so that's not a problem. The real problem is my age and there is nothing we can do about that.

What I want to get at here, is if you are having a problem getting pregnant and are overweight, don't wait to loose weight, you are loosing precious time. I mean of course any weight you loose will make your pregnancy easier, I'm just saying you can get around the weight issue with FSHs but you can't get around the age issue.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and wishes. Don't know what I'd do withoucha!

Love,
Julie

[Gemmabean]

Angie,

I was thinking of you because our 10th anniversary is at the end of August and I was thinking if we got pregnant in this next cycle we might know by then and what a GREAT anniversary gift. I was thinking of you and Father's Day


Jenine,

No wonder that lil pooch has been hangin her lil head so low! (lil 85 pound pooch...)

[jenedens6102]

Julie,
I'm so sorry to hear of your BFNs. I was really pulling for you, Gemma gave us so much hope! It's unfortunate that you need to take a break but at the same time it may be the best thing for you right now. Just know that I'm praying for you!

[jf5505]

I am truly so sorry that you got the --- results...that just plain old sucks, are you going to continue further? I really hope you can. I am thinking of you and will say some prayers..take care...xoxo

[jen-hoping]

Julie - I thought for sure this was your month. I am so sorry you got that BFN, never easy to find out. Hang in there!

[Gemmabean]

Thanks again girls.

Yes, we have enough saved for three more follistim + hsg cycles. That will be a total of 6 cycles (2 IUI and 4 drugs only). Our RE advised us to stop after 6 because if it hasn't worked by then, it's prolly not gonna.

I'm gonna get some bug killin chemicals and some weed killin chemicals and some germ killin chemicals and clean like a woman crazed this month!!!

I'm gonna drink a few beers and a few fruity girly drinks, and you know, I'll prolly end up pregnant this month! Well, that's what "everyone" says anyway

Chin up girls, I'm not giving up yet.

Didja see the movie Elizabethtown yet? I highly recommend it if not, but anyway at the end, there is a moment and the voice over says:

"The British Special Service Airforce motto is:
Those who risk, win."

and then:

"Salmon beat themselves bloody swimming up stream, against the current, and for what? To have sex."

We are that Salmon. We are the Briish Special Service Airforce. We will get pregnant.

Much love to all,
Julie