[Gemmabean]

I was out of town, at a funeral yesterday.

I saw a friend I hadn't seen in over a year. She married a dear friend of mine. She is pregnant. She has some close friends who are having problems with infertility. She told me she doesn't know what to say to them and she feels so bad that she's pregnant.

She is such a sweetie and I'm SO happy for them. They are 20-somethings and were just married last year. She said she got pregnant the second month she went off the pill. She said she felt SO BAD telling me that.

This was such a different experience for me, especially after "the pregnant coworker" who was so in my face and has no clue what IF people go through.

I told my friend she was on the right track. I advised her to tell her other IF friends she can't imagin how difficult it is for them, because it's true for one thing, and from my side, it's nice to hear.

I also asked her not to abondon them, as many of my fertile friends have done me.

I just wanted you to know there are fertile, pregnant women out there who are sensitive to our condition. It was just really nice to talk to one!

Much love,
Julie

[kuchaks]

That is nice to hear. I assumed they were out there. I think that is probably the way the majority of fertile people feel, maybe they just can't express it???? Though I've run into my fair share of creeps!!

[jen-hoping]

I have to say that I am truly blessed. My dearest and closest friend has 3 beautiful healthy children. She gets pregnant if her DH looks at her. She has been my biggest support (other than my DH). She laughs with me, crys with me and is my favorite cheerleader . She often does all sorts of research and gives me information that I didn't know, or thinks of questions that I may have forgotten while at my RE appt.

I know these women are out there so have faith, they aren't all inconsiderate boobs.

[rexie]

I have a friend who's wonderful. She says things like "******! Well, I want you to know that I would carry a child for you without hesitation because you and DH will be such great parents." I wouldn't have her carry my baby (and at this time, there's no reason to think I need a surrogate) for various reasons, but I believe her and truly appreciate the gesture.

I'm glad I have her, I just wish she lived closer to me.

[AMKD]

Julie -

Something you said - when you told your PG friend to let her IF friends know how bad she feels and how she cannot imagine what they are going through - I so agree! I HATE when people who had no problem getting pregnant tell me "I know how you feel". I want to scream, "You do?!?! How?!?!?! How would you know how I feel?!?!?!" I much more appreciate it when someone says to me, "I cannot imagine what you are going through. Do you want to talk about it?". Much more theraputic!

~AM

[Gemmabean]

Ann Marie,

I have a friend in the UK who I met on a migraine forum. She is my age and has a 22 year old daughter!

Anyway, we have been email pen pals for a few months now.

She said to me "I just can't imagin how devistating this must be for you. I admire you and your strength because I don't know if I could handle it as well as you."

This is the nicest thing a fertile person has ever said to me.

I don't have cancer, but I can still say to a friend with cancer, "I can't imagin what you are going through, this must be very difficult for you." I can still be supportive.

Unfortunately my friends and family seem to have the philosophy: if we don't talk about it maybe it will go away or not exhist at all.

Those of you will understanding friends, tell them how much you appreciate them and their understanding! Some of us are not so lucky.

Much love,
Julie

[jmcrane]

I now the feeling about not having supportive people in my life too. They all like side step me and my spouse. But we have each other here...