[fruitless]

Maybe this is stupid, but what are the chances of getting preg if you are older, with a real man trying several times over the 5 days of ov (give or take), or IUI, at the actual time of ov?

I thought I heard the odds of IUI with donor are lower, maybe because you can only be inseminated once, or that it's frozen, vs. the real thing that is magical or something.

Remember I'm in my mid forties. I'm having a lot of problems coming to terms with donor sperm, it just doesn't feel right to me. But, losing the chance to have my own baby feels crappy too. I hate this decision. Adoption, for a single woman unless you want to go out of the country, isn't so great either.

Any thoughts or ideas... It's not like I'm 35 or 41, I'm 46--good FSH, but no man. And the more I try (dating), the worse it gets. And when I don't try, there is nothing. I hate for a baby not to have a real dad. I wish I could settle, but you can't take someone that is just wrong or horrible. You can't. I don't know why my life has come down to this. Sorry for the rant. But so many of you, have the boyfriend or husband to help emotionally support you, that doing this pretty much alone, is very rough.

People say, either you want the baby or the relationship. Hey, I want both. They say, well, take the baby now, and maybe later you'll meet someone. I know realistically, raising a baby alone, is not sexy, and no man is going to come running to me, at least for several years. They aren't exactly running now, and I have no kids!

Anyway, thanks for listening.

[J*e*n*_78]

fruitless- hi- wow you have such a tough decision to make. Supposedly frozen donor sperm is only alive for about 12 hours after thawed whereas fresh is alive for 2-3 days i believe? This leaves a much smaller window of opportunity for the donor sperm- timing is so crucial with fresh or frozen.
I hope you can come to a decision one way or the other or even better yet meet your special someone. Good luck to you!!

[Merryx]

Originally Posted by fruitless

Maybe this is stupid, but what are the chances of getting preg if you are older, with a real man trying several times over the 5 days of ov (give or take), or IUI, at the actual time of ov?

I thought I heard the odds of IUI with donor are lower, maybe because you can only be inseminated once, or that it's frozen, vs. the real thing that is magical or something.

Remember I'm in my mid forties. I'm having a lot of problems coming to terms with donor sperm, it just doesn't feel right to me. But, losing the chance to have my own baby feels crappy too. I hate this decision. Adoption, for a single woman unless you want to go out of the country, isn't so great either.

Any thoughts or ideas... It's not like I'm 35 or 41, I'm 46--good FSH, but no man. And the more I try (dating), the worse it gets. And when I don't try, there is nothing. I hate for a baby not to have a real dad. I wish I could settle, but you can't take someone that is just wrong or horrible. You can't. I don't know why my life has come down to this. Sorry for the rant. But so many of you, have the boyfriend or husband to help emotionally support you, that doing this pretty much alone, is very rough.

People say, either you want the baby or the relationship. Hey, I want both. They say, well, take the baby now, and maybe later you'll meet someone. I know realistically, raising a baby alone, is not sexy, and no man is going to come running to me, at least for several years. They aren't exactly running now, and I have no kids!

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Hey there! Certainly it is up to you whether you decide to use real or frozen. Though, I would say if you aren't in a committed relationship with someone, I would go with frozen sperm. The main reason being that if you are meeting people that you don't know really well and having sex with them...unprotected...just in hopes of getting pregnant is really stupid. You may get pregnant but end up with AIDS or some thing else too.

Plus, just because you get pregnant from a guy, doesn't mean that he is going to stick around with you to help with the baby or be a good father. I would think that it would scare men off more if you say..."hey I'm looking to get pregnant in the next few months...want to be the father?!". Rather than "yes, I'm a single mother".

Just my opinion though...good luck!!!

Merry