[justbreathe]

Laura---I live in Union County, so we shouldn't be too far from each other...would be neat to meet!

EFhoping---my advice would be to find the best UR in your area that specializes in MFI and see who he/she is affiliated with or would recommend as a RE. Good luck!

Erin---UGH! Sorry for the bump in the road...it's so frustrating, especially in the beginning when you're so eager for answers and a plan. Hang in there--hopefully Monday you can call up and get in sooner than 7/9...if not, let the waiting begin. We'll be here to help you pass the time

Sadie--- DH and I have ds back up, though our situation is a bit different, in that we are using his brother as our known donor. In the beginning we decided that dh would have an mTESE and I would be prepped for a timed IVF cycle (praying they'd find sperm). We didn't opt to have donor back up, mostly b/c the time from dx to surgery was so short (2 months) and we were so lost in the diagnosis and "fixing" it, that we didn't educate ourselves about other options. We didn't want to rush into anything. After dh's surgery was unsuccessful it was a time for us to mourn the "loss" of the dually-biological child of ours that we'd always expected to have so easily. It didn't take long for us to both realize that we desperately wanted a child and that as long as I was fit to carry a baby, it made sense to use a donor. That way we could at least have 1/2 of the genetic connection...it was important for me to experience being pg. Also, having lost both my parents, I really yearned to have a piece of them live on. This is not to say that it wasn't difficult for dh to accept this was how he'd become a father. It is a daily struggle that I know he grapples with, though he doesn't always talk about it. His mentality is "It sucks, but these were the cards I was dealt, so I'll play the hand I've got". We decided together that the best case scenario would be using his brother so it would still be a genetic connection to dh. Dh's brother and his wife approached us, offering to be a known donor. It just worked out perfectly. If we didn't have this wonderful option, I believe we would still have gone the ds route, choosing from an anonymous donor who was a close match to dh. I found a lot of great literature at Donor Conception Network: Index Page: News Information Articles Personal Stories I would also suggest talking to a counselor that deals with IF---that may help dh see the big picture. Sorry this turned out to be so long----I wish you peace in whatever way you choose to build your family....

Hi to everyone!

,
Katie

[Naomi35]

ERINVT- I would say absolutely go to Dr. Schlegel in NY city. It is not that far from you- we travelled the same distance. I think it is imperative to see a speicalist as reular urologists do not know enough about this to help this situation.
We saw dr. S. He was very expensive but also excellent and we were able to figure out exactly why my dh has azzospermia ( he has a chromosome translocation) . Because of that we learned that it wasn't a good choice for us to do any surgeries for dh as likely his sperm would not mature enough to be harvested. Also, even if they were able to do it there was too high a risk of the offspring having potential problems from chromosome translocation- which is why we went with donor sperm. But only a specialist would have been able to figure this out. I think it is worth it to go to Sr. Schlegel and Ny city is easy to access from New England.

Good Luck!

Kris79 - Good luck with your next iui, I hope it works for you!

Sadie- My dh was on board with donor sperm right from the start. even if we could have gone with other options, he was reluctant to have either of us do surgeries and preferred to try with donor sperm. I hope your dh comes around, if that is what you want. It can be so hard for everyone- but I do think, like you say, when the baby comes they fall right in love with it.

[lostandconfused]

Hello girls just tucked DH into bed with pain meds...its been a very LONG day. Surgery started at 1, finished around 315. Talked to the dr and there is good and bad news i don't know if any of this is standard or what but here is what we know: There was some sperm found, he did biopsy and mtese on left then moved to right and did biopsy only. He said that there was sperm but it was very sparse and he was unsure if it was alive or not. We will have to wait for our follow up appointment to know the results on that. I was crying like a baby and the dr said, i know you want more answers but since there was some that it is better than none and if he made it once he maybe able to make it again. Any thoughts? I feel like i should be happy we found something but then to be told he didnt know if it was alive or not brings me right back down!

[AllDeliveriesNoBaby]

apasionada- Yay for coming when she is wanted this time!! Good luck!!

ljntor- Things are going well. How are you??

Diana- I am so sorry about the mass. Let us hope it is nothing serious, and that you will move right along once it is gone!

[apasionada]

All, Laura, Kris, to you girls. I hope this time will be your time.

Erin, sorry your appointment got pushed back. Hopefully you'll be able to get an earlier appointment than that when you call back on Monday.

Sadie, I hope that you and dh come to peace with the possibility of using ds.

Diane, wishing you the best of luck next week. Just look at thing like you are getting ready to be the best recipient for your future babies, this is not a setback, it's just the first step.

Mille, how are things going? Thanks for asking. I'm having a good time. Still trying to get over a pretty bad jet lag. I spent the last two nights without sleeping but finally last night I succumbed to Morpheo and was able to sleep a solid 8 hours. Yayyyy!!!!!!

As for my sis and BIL, they went to the RE yesterday. Everything is good so they started again! Please, keep them in your . They are going back on Mon.

Have a wonderful weekend you all!

[amyinohio]

lostandconfused - I think that it is a good sign that they were able to find anything! It only takes a few for ICSI and it is amazing what they can do with even very low quality sperm!! Stay positive! Hope dh is feeling better soon!

[Kris79]

Apasionada - I'm glad things are on track for your sister to cycle again! Sending baby dust her way! I'm so glad you can be there with her this time around.

Lost - I'm sorry you got the mix of good and bad news yesterday. I am glad they found something, but I can understand how it would be upsetting to not find much and low quality. I hope you get good news at your next appointment.

AllD - Sending you baby dust...hoping that little one is getting ready to snuggle in.

Hopprn - How is the 2ww treating you?

Laura - Good luck this weekend and happy anniversary on Sunday!

Erin - Sorry your appt. got pushed back...I hope you can get in earlier than the 9th. Hang in there

Sadie - I'm sorry your DH's surgery didn't go as you had hoped. I remember well the feeling. We are now doing IUI's with DS, but it was certainly a process to arrive at that decision. We had a few months between dx and DH's surgery to talk about our options if the surgery didn't work. We landed on donor embryo/embryo adoption since we wanted to experience pregnancy, but wanted to have an equal non-genetic connection to the children. The more research we did, we realized that the place we wanted to go through required we be married for at least 3 years...we are still not married 3 years so I knew I could not bear the wait until September to even start trying. We decided to re-evaluate our feelings about DS and we both realized that our initial distaste for it had faded and realized that the genetics are not what's going to make DH a daddy. In fact he would love the child because it had some of my genetics. We also felt it would be nice for the child to know half of his/her heritage rather than having it all be a mystery. While there are certainly issues with DS, we felt this was the best option for us. While it wasn't our main reason for going this route, another consideration is that my sister cannot have biological children so I am the only route for biological grandchildren for my mom. My dad has two grandchildren from one of my half-sisters. This is not to say that that biological connection to children/grandchildren is what is important, but if it's possible to achieve, we felt we shouldn't give that up. That's just us though, and it took us about 6 months to come around to it. We had that time before his surgery though and had pretty much grieved that loss of being able to have his biological children by the time we got the bad news. That's why we were ready to go so soon after his surgery. Each situation is different and I would not consider DS if you are not both completely okay with it. Good luck to you and let me know if you need anything.

[Diana83]

Apasionada- So glad your sis and BIL were able to start again!

Lost- So sorry it was kind of a difficult day yesterday. I also think it is a very good sign that there were some sperm. Even if they were not alive, they must have been at some point! It sounds promising that production could be occuring. When is your follow up appt? I'm hoping you get some better answers then. that your DH will heal quickly!

Sadie- I'm glad you joined us! Deciding to use a donor is a very difficult decision and there are so many factors to weigh in. The %'s our urologist and RE gave us for finding good usable sperm were pretty low, so that made our decision a little easier. I know for us, we did not want to give up the experience of being pregnant and delivering a child if I was able. My DH has been very open to it, especially when he did some research and saw how they can match features and have the photo matching service. We also discussed embryo adoption, but DH decided he would rather our child be genetically linked to atleast one of us. I hope you and your DH are able to come to a decision that is right for both of you...good luck!

[Diana83]

Well I heard back from my OB today regarding when I may be able to move on with IVF following the surgery. He said it depends on a lot of things, but if things go as he expects they will we will be probably looking at having to wait from 6 months up to a year! Not at all what I wanted to hear.

[ewebey]

Oh that just stinks Diana!!!!!

[apasionada]

I'm so sorry, Diana! I'll for a speedy recovery.

[efhoping2010]

I am so sorry Diana On the brighter side, you are dealing with this now so you will be in wombdterful shape when you are ready to cycle again for IVF. OK bad joke but wishing you the best. E

[ljnotr]

Diana- so sorry to hear your latest news, hopefully you will have a speedy recovery and the time frame will change. Hang in there!

Apasionada- YAH!!!! I am happy they are cycling again

Lost- hope your dh recovers well and praying you get good news with your spermie report!

AllD/Kris- How are my cycle sisters doing? I go tomorrow for bw/us but have a feeling IUI will be sun and monday. Kris did you go for your monitoring yet?

Erin- The waiting stinks! I remember when we were waiting for appts it was christmas time and it seemed like eternity until we could get in to see the uro.

Sadie- Welcome!!!!! Using DS is a tough decision to have to make. I would give your DH some time to grieve over his dx. before expecting him to decide about the DS. Our fertility center requires that we meet with a psychologist before moving onto DS. This was probably the most helpful thing we did in this whole process. I also had DH take charge of choosing our donor, which I feel helped him to feel a part if this. Now we are so anxious to just get pregnant with the IUIs that we sometimes forget about using the DS. It definitly is a process that takes time. Good luck with your decision!

CQ- Thanks for your well wishes.

Just breathe- yes we definitly should get together. I will private message you soon so we canmake some future plans!

[Sadie987]

Thank to everyone for the advice. Dh surprised me last night by saying he would consider having a talk about donor sperm. We are going to enjoy the summer then really dig in to our situation. I'm so lucky to be married to such an amazing man.

[hopprn]

Sadie-Glad you found us!

Diane-Sorry about the mass, and your setback. for your surgery Wed.

Lost-Glad they found some sperm and hope/ that they give you great news at your next appt.

AllD- for a Miracle for your IUI this time

Laura-- for your IUI this weekend--

Kris- the cycle sisters all get this month!

Erin-Sorry your appt got moved back! Everything is wait, wait, wait. and Patience does not come easy with me.

Mille-Hope you are feeling great!

AFM, I have not POAS since Thurs (another ) I am going to POAS on Sun to be prepared for Mon Beta results. My DH said (sarcastically) "great, on Fathers Day". Poor guy.

Love to you all. Hello to everyone I missed, trying to stay off the boards, because I AM OBSESSING!