[Kelbell]

3rdtime- I am so sorry, I know everyone was praying and rooting for your little one...I know this is so hard. Hang in there.

AmyN- Good luck with the mTESE! I know all the waiting and what if/what if nots can be exhausting. I hope you have wonderful news afterward to share!

Singing- Maybe your hubby's just stressed out with everything that is ahead with the mTESE and all that? Its a lot to handle! I know that myself and DH went through the same debate prior to TESE...we had finally agreed that DS was an option since having children and experiencing pregnancy was so important to the both of us. I really hope for you both that the procedure is successful! Is it coming up soon?

[Diana83]

AmyN- Good luck with the mTESE next Tuesday. I'm excited for you guys that it's finally here, I know you've been waiting such a long time!

Nelly- GL to you as you move forward with ds. Can't wait to cheer you on!

3rdtimes- I am so sorry to hear about your loss...I know we were all praying for your little one. I wish you and DH strength as you decide where you will head from here.

Singing- I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's change of heart. I'll be praying that he comes back around.

Laura- Thanks for the advice on the AC! I've really had no side affects with the Lupron so far, so we'll see how the rest goes!

AFM, just enjoying my shots and meds each morning! Tomorrow is my last bcp, so that's atleast 1 thing to take off the list!
Look's like today has been a rough day for alot of us, I pray that everyone has a better rest of the week! Take care!

[erinvt]

Question for those of you who have had a telephone consultation with Dr. Schlegel....how would I go about setting that up? And is it a free consult or does he charge? If so, how much does it cost and how long is the consult?

Thanks
Erin

[cubby14dh]

Erin, I've had two phone consults with Dr. Schlegel. You can set one up by calling his office, which you can find at the end of this article: Peter N. Schlegel, M.D., F.A.C.S. - Cornell Urology. It will probably be a 4-6 week wait, if your experience is like mine. They are not free; you have to send a signed credit card authorization form, initialing next to a place that says charges may range from $150 to $350. However, the charges for my two consults were $100 and $125, respectively. I think it goes by how long he spends on the phone with you. In both cases, I found them well worth it. As I recall, I spent somewhere around 15 minutes with him both times, although it must have been a little different, since the charges varied.

To everyone, thank you so much for your thoughtful condolences. The first couple of days were very difficult, but we're heading in the right direction once again. We both have appointments in late October with our doctors (Davis and Schlegel) to discuss the future. If they encourage us to continue trying, then we'll probably do another cycle in January.

Lucy, we're happy for you! It's nice to know that someone else who transferred the same day had a positive result!

3rdtimes, we know how you feel. Grieve (again), and try to move on. It's certainly easier to say that than to do it...

Good luck to others in various stages of the process or pregnancy. We continue to keep you all in our prayers.

[Kris79]

Nelly - I wish you lots of luck as you start the DS/IUI process!

Diana - Yay for the last BCP!!

Cubbies/3rdtimes - Sending big hugs

AmyN - Good luck next week with DH's mTESE! Your wait is almost over!

Hi to everyone!

[Raquel_09]

Good morning everyone!

Cubbies and 3rd times- I am really sorry for what you are going thru. I am that BOTH of you WILL get your babies! I know it!

AmyN- Good luck on your mTese! I know exactly what you mean about having good days and bad days. Even though we are moving on with DS, I still mourn the fact that I won't have a child from my dh, but I guess for dh and I , we need to let go and focus on building our family, even if it wasn't how we dreamt it would be.

Nelly- Hey we we can be IUI buddies! I start my first IUI with DS early in September! Ahh! I am both excited and nervous!


Diana83- Glad you are enjoying the shots and meds. You know even if it's hard on the body, it will be well worth it in the long run..

Last night I had a mimi, mini, breakdown. I don't know about you all, but sometimes I cry in weird places. Especially in the shower. Last night I did. I guess because like I said to AmyN, I am still sad that I won't have my DH's bio child, but I have gotten much better then when I first found out.
I can be around my sister in law who is 5 1/2 month preggers with her first. I am even hosting and planning her baby shower! She is so, so positive for me and my DH. That we will have OUR baby soon!
I think that is the key, ladies, is to be around people who are very supportive and positive towards you and you WILL get by. I think I would be much worse, if it weren't for my DH, my mom and my sister in law, Grace.

Hi to everyone else!

[Singingirl96]

Hello All.
Thank you for all of the kind words...
Yeah... it did seem kinda sudden. Somehow I think his mother had something to do with it. If you remember... I've mentioned about her disapproval over treatments. She is the epitome of catholic devotion.
But is is possible that it came just from him. he has been wishy washy about the whole ds thing from the start. We had gone to see a social worker and he discussed all of his reservations about ds. By then he seemed to be ok with it all... of course as a plan b.
Things at his work have been very stressful and he has had a few really bad weeks at work. So that could have played a part in his sudden change of heart.
He says that he can't let someone else father his child... the fight excallated to the point where I even brought up the D word... which I'm sorry about. But ultimately I don't want to force him to do something he doesnt' want to do.
What doesn't make sense to me is that he is willing to adopt which is also letting someone else "father" his child. So I asked him what he thought the difference is... he says that I would be equally unattached to the child genetically.
That to me just doesnt' seem fair.
He says that it although I'm not physically having sex with someone else, somehow he doesn't see a difference.
I can't get in his head... I don't know what this is all about...
The thing is that I have no doubt that he would love this child just as much as if it was genetically his. I'm a true believer that genes don't make a father... but I don't think he thinks that way. He feels like failure in many aspects of his life, this being the main one.
I truly hope he changes his mind. And I hope he changes his mind before november when his brother is due to give his sample at the sperm bank so it will be ready in case our mtese in June is unsuccessful.
Btw, his brother has agreed to go through all of the screenings and psychological testing and crap... I truly thought he wouldn't want to. But all of that is null since DH had a change of heart.
I just don't think I can handle it..... I don't know what to do.
I'm hoping time will change his feelings... In the mean time I think I'll make appointments to go see a councelor. Hopefully that would help.

Thank you everyone,

[mille.foglie]

Hello all.

Just taking a quick break from all the moving-related chaos to catch up with everyone. We are up to our eyeballs in boxes - tomorrow is moving day.

3rdtimes - very sorry to hear your latest news. I hope you can heal from this disappointment in time and that you and your husband can agree on future steps.

cubbies - still thinking of you. Hopefully you will get the green light in October - I think there is much for you to be hopeful about.

AmyN - so excited for you! I'm sure you're nervous but it will be such a relief to get some answers at last and you've waited so patiently.

Singinggirl - very sorry to hear of the issues with DH. My DH was similarly opposed to DS but very pro-adoption. I don't want to start a debate on the pros and cons of either here so I'll send you a PM outlining my DH's thought process on this issue - maybe it will help you get inside his head.

[tuie]

Hello Ladies. I have a question. Dh went to a regular u/r and had his b/w done. They said all is normal. So he reffered us to a u/r that specializes in infertility. When I called they said his first appt is only a consultation. Do they only talk to us on this first appt or will they do anything? Exam him, Anything? Or will they just make another appt for that?

[lostandconfused]

Originally Posted by tuie

Hello Ladies. I have a question. Dh went to a regular u/r and had his b/w done. They said all is normal. So he reffered us to a u/r that specializes in infertility. When I called they said his first appt is only a consultation. Do they only talk to us on this first appt or will they do anything? Exam him, Anything? Or will they just make another appt for that?

Our uro talked to us and did a physical exam the first time, he also reviewed all the bloodwork results from the previous uro and my RE, and disagreed with some of their ideas of normal...(which then led me to disapointment again, i think the medical profession needs to have a set standard for these tests cause it really stress us IF people out!) He then ordered the ultrasound.(My RE had ordered Genetics tests so he didnt have to do this). We scheduled a follow up appointment to discuss the ultrasound results and genetic results(2 wks later b/c of genetic testing results taking time to get back). 2nd appointment was just talking and scheduling biopsy and mTese which our uro did at the same time on both sides.
GOOD LUCK!

[Kelbell]

Tuie- in our experience we had a little bit of a run around- luckily our urologist and RE work together fairly often so the communication between the two was pretty good, but we felt like we went in an awful lot for "consultations" without actually moving on to the next step. We got the diagnosis of azoo in May, finally had the TESE in July, and will be starting IVF next month to give you a sense of what our timeline was like. The initial meetings and what not definately took up the bulk of the time. I think once they know what they are dealing with it moves along a little quicker.
To specifically answer your question though, my husband had a physical exam on his first meeting with the urologist, to check for obvious abnormalities. It is so frusterating dealing with the doctors at first, its like they dont seem to understand you are having to take off work etc to do this, but I guess they have their reasons.
Good luck to you!

MRB- thanks for the info about the tea, I didnt even think about it having an effect.

[tuie]

Thank you ladies for your answers.


Good Luck and Baby dust to Everyone.

[barbara702]

Hi everyone - thanks for the "welcome back" messages.

singingirl - I am so sorry to hear of your recent fight with DH and your feelings of depression. It really seemed like you were doing so well and DH seemed to be on the same page as you. It is so hard when they do this and make decisions this way. Hopefully by the time you have your mtese you will have a different backup plan, or maybe he'll even come around. You've helped me so many times my DH was stubborn, but he always came around at the end. I hope yours does as well.

3rdtimes- i'm so sorry to hear your news, I was praying for your little fighter. The bright side is, as you mentioned, that you know now that you can be pregnant, so that is a positive. Just don't know why it has to be so hard - it's not fair!

cubbies - and to you both

CQ - hi to you! bet your girls are keeping you busy!

amyN- GL tuesday...it's finally here! You have been waiting a long time for this day. I wish you and DH the best.

kelbell, nelly, & diana - GL with your upcoming cycles !

raquel - sorry to hear you had a mini breakdown..I find that I cry in the weirdest places or at the weirdest times. There are good days and bad days - don't be too hard on yourself. You just have to take the bad days and let it out...we're here for you and we have all been there.

mille - I bet moving is crazy, but you will be all settled and ready for your little guy this winter. Congrats on the new home

Kris, ljn - how are you feeling? are the weeks going by quickly for you?

amyinohio - congrats on baby aida! hope you're doing well

everyone else i missed - hope you're all doing well!

AFM - This is my last day of summer vacation..ugh! I did call my RE and left a message that we are ready for the FET. My thought back in May/June was to enjoy summer as much as I could and focus on my grad classes...it was strange because just today arrived - so it seemed to fall into place. For those of you who remember how difficult my DH could be with all of this, here is a cute story. He made a big "to do" list for things around the house we want to get done in the next year and the last item on the list said "baby". It was really cute - he has come a long way. Hopefully all of our struggles will be worth it - I feel like we have been waiting forever.

Take care everyone and my thoughts are with you all!

[barbara702]

ok...RE just called. The clinic closes for a couple weeks in October so the FET will be in November. Is that a bad sign?? Ugh!

[AllDeliveriesNoBaby]

Hi ladies! Just a quick update. I have been following on the boards because you all do mean so much to me, but I just haven't been posting. You are all in my prayers. I got the run around with my temporary duty assignment and will be leaving on Saturday afterall for 3 weeks. Baltimore, here I come! I am sort of excited, but sad because I already haven't seen my kiddo in 7 weeks- it will have been 10+ by the time I do. I also will be gone for our anniversary. I probably will have 0 time on the net, so good luck to all of those who are cycling. I will catch up when I come home!